For straight 8 hours, my brain has been idle. I did nothing but glance at the space, the wall, the ceiling. I arrived home earlier without even noticing i was already home. I ate a sumptuous dinner but i still feel an unexplainable hunger. I haven't changed clothes yet. Just don't wanna do anything now. I feel that something inside my chest is bloating and it's excruciating! I just wanna feel the numbness now. That feeling when you are frozen to zero degrees. Couldn't sleep.
I wish it were daytime and i were at work. I wish i were facing my class not this wall; listening to my students boisterous laughter, not this midnight howling of neighbors' dogs; i wish i were arguing with somebody face to face, not with myself. I wish i were counting millions, not these scars in my heart. I wish i were a beautiful garden with fragrant growing flowers, not a dying tree. I wish i were a song with beautiful lyrics and melody, not a dull poetry with no meter and rhyme. I wish it were morning so i'd get busy preparing for the day, not staying idle like this!