Gazing at Dead Stars

I have read and reread "Dead Stars", a short story written by Paz Marquez Benitez but still so skeptical about the story. Was it Esperanza's fault why Alfredo should be confused with his feelings towards her despite the span of years that they had been together? We will observe that at the onset of the story, Alfredo was searching for that same excitement he felt years ago when he started courting Esperanza as well as the first few years of their togetherness. Alfredo was looking for that spark, of that friction and the chemistry that he used to feel when he was with her but to his surprise, he realized that he was already bored of being with Esperanza. Can we blame the girl if the man loses his interest on her? What should a woman do then to prevent that? But can she always prevent that if this happens considering that circumstances and time are not within our control? I am not speaking for Esperanza, nor for myself. I am speaking for every woman out there who have become victims of false hope.

Here comes Julia Salas, a very promising young girl who was witty, outspoken and carefree in life. She didn't care about what other people had to say about her. She was not bound to anything. She was highly-spirited and full of vibrance who captivated the attention of Alfredo. Obviously, Julia never had the intention to lure Alfredo nor did she insinuate any emotional attachment between her and ALfredo. She was just an all-out girl who believes on the genuineness of friendship and emotions. She may have fallen for Alfredo but she never tried to seduce him. Alfredo, on the one hand, was in a way already showing his interest towards her but she shrugged off the idea because she knew where she stands. She knew that there was Esperanza. But what was between her and Alfredo that kept her waiting for 8 years for Alfredo to come to her life again? Did Alfredo give her false hope?

Alfredo, the man every woman could dream of, handsome, manly, intelligent, and responsible. Was he selfish? I am made to believe that he was! It was as if he wanted both women to be part of his life and not lose any one of them. Despite having gotten married to Esperanza, he was still aspiring for Julia Salas. It was evident in the lines mentioning that Alfredo seemed to be distant and beyond Esperanza's reach no matter how close they were in bed. Physically, he was with Esperanza but his mind was absent. It flew to where Julia Salas was. In other words, ALfredo couldn't let go of Julia Salas. Whatever relationship they had was like an unrequited love...and more than that, it was unexpressed, unrevealed and concealed. Can we really blame Alfredo for the complexity of his feelings for the two special women in his life when he actually made a choice, the choice of marrying her fiancee and rejecting the supposed newly-found love interest?

I love this story as it always gives me so many insights every time i read it and the more learning I get from this when I discuss this with my Literature class. I guess my students love the story as much as I do. in fact, when i gave them their final project, one student asked me if she could just work on this story because she had gleaned quite an insight from it. i didn't concede though but i should have let them do it for expression.

I posed 2 questions for my students to answer based from the story as taken from Alfredo's lines:

1. What is love indeed? is love a mere fabrication of perfervid imagination, an exaggeration of the common place, a glorification of insipid monotonies? is love a combination of circumstances, or sheer native capacity of soul? Is love a decision or a destiny?

2. And have you ever come to a point in your life where you have to choose between what you want to do and what you have to do?

My students answered these questions as if they were very sure of their answers but if you give a second thought and contemplate on these issues on complexities of love and decision-making, we are really confronted with difficulty in choosing what to do...

As usual we winded up the story with the many lessons in life, personal and vicarious experiences. We came to a wonderful finale. Some sympathize with Esperanza, others with Julia and some with Alfredo himself and each has his own reason why.

well,there may be so many of us, whose gardens have withered and yet like Esperanza, have never lost hope…she kept clinging on to the vines of faithfulness and love…although alfredo was beyond her reach, her hopes and undying love watered the withering gardens until such realization overtook his senses…some of us may also be like Julia, hoping for a bright star to dawn on her until forever is gone, until the sky grows dark and stars shine no more, until there are no more reasons to hope, hoping that love still would find every reason to give the wilting heart the courage and strength to go on hoping..

whatever one is gazing at; whatever dilemma he is confronted with, he should always learn to value the real meaning of love…although, as they say, love remains to be an eternal puzzle yet we know within us, that the answer to that mystery is just within us…love…love..love.yes, years ago and until this very moment, i thought about it and i know for sure that i am gazing at dead stars…