of tears in losing

8 years ago, honestly, i shed ocean when mama finally left us. the pain was unbearable..but something we managed so hard. it was our downiest moments. most vulnerable moments that even in a minute detail we would burst into tears.

2 days ago, the feeling of loss resurrected inside and saline from the eyes just trickled uncontrollably..it was during the almost - 9 - hour burial march and rites of the late President Aquino was covered on tv the whole day.. the very pampered daughter's tears, ms. Krissy, came flowing like the unstoppable flow of maria Cristina falls.

how can one deny the pain? the deep twinge inside? we may lie to other people but not to ourselves. we can never ignore every bit of pain there is inside our hearts. Kris was true when she apologized to her mother when she admitted that she couldn't not help but cry. President Aquino asked her children not to feel bad and sad but to triumph even when she dies. well, it is quite easy to say but definitely very hard to do...

when mama left, my emotions were really blank. I didn't feel anything. I just felt so empty...i couldn't even remember if i ever cried during her wake. yes, we all cried while she was still in the hospitable. we all cried for healing, for recovery, for miracle but when she was declared departed, i felt the numbness that i have never felt before and the rest that happened was history.

after the burial, i was still silent and i never knew how is started to cope without her. that was the time when i felt her loss; her absence; and it was surely unimaginable. the pain was so deep that i had to lock myself up in my room and scream out loud with the radio on at its loudest.

now, what the Aquino is feeling and what the country mourns for is really very painful and it is always especially true when we know that the one whom we have lost is someone we love so much.

But the great news is that, God is greatest comfort and the source of joy in the midst of all that we are feeling and the loss that we are suffering from. God knows best for us and He has something very special stored for us.

what could possibly be there for the Philippines, our beloved country?

adieu to a legend

The nation is in grief over its loss of one great person who epitomizes our nation's democracy, motherhood dedication, bravery and love for country. Corazon Aquino being the widow of Benigno Aquino, Jr. despite her silence and calmness, did not fail to respond to the challenge of the Filipino people to fight for democracy and the whole world had witnessed the most peaceful people power revolution in the world. This may indeed be a time of grief but on the contrary, a better time to celebrate her life. Let's celebrate Tita Cory because it was through her that we have been freed from the shackles of a dictator government.

I received a text message today from my professor at MSU-IIT that states, President Corazon "Tita Cory" Cojuanco Aquino is: "The only person in world history who became president by fate and not by ambition. The only speaker who has the longest standing ovation in U.S. Congress. the only woman who led her people to win a revolution with nothing but faith in God. She is the mother of democracy, the light of our nation and her legacy lives forever."

As our respect for the mother of the Modern Philippine Democracy, our hats off to you Madame! You have fought your best fight; you have won the battle. You are a hero...a legend...you and senator Ninoy have made us feel that Filipinos are worth fighting and dying for. Thank you for the life you lived for the Filipino people. Adieu to you but our love for you, for our country and the democracy you have bravely fought for our nation will always be treasured and kept in our hearts forever and shall be transmitted to the next generation and the generations to come...

reconciliation

after years of silence and barrier in our friendship, i had the best opportunity to clarify things with my special friends...something had caused us apart and thank God that things have been clarified...it's just so sad how this certain situation has pulled us apart. at least now, everything is settled so everybody has a happy heart...

who has a happy heart?

how can't one be so bubbly when you are with people who have a happy heart. my brows crossed the first time i heard him say these words. no, this isn't new to my ears of course but hearing this from a person who isn't used to be THAT vocal about his 'happy heart' actually made me completely bubbly..i kept laughing the whole night and even the night after our meeting every time i remember how my friend said this line.i knew for sure that it wasn't just a mere cliché but seeing his light and bright countenance, in fact, glowing smiles and sparkling eyes, you could really say, my! my friend is out of this world in loved. i have never seen that expression of sincerity before. hoist, it's not i whom he's in loved with, fyi, and that's for sure, lols...he's in loved with a girl who's almost half his age! great age disparity...but he said she's such a sugar. i love how he metaphorically described the girl and his feelings for this girl.i wondered how he perceives this situation's end would be. will it be as sweet til the end as what it is today or did he ever expect it to end like a bitter gourd? i think he is not thinking. all he is concerned about now is that he is happy and that having a happy heart and being in cloud nine is definitely an incomparable ecstasy in his life ever. i guess, he just wants to savor the taste of temporal happiness...all he care for is the effect of this happiness to him. he said it gives him a youthful disposition, positive and energetic outlook, and a very bright and sunny day despite the dangerous alarms of heavy rains and thunder storms. he is just an ordinary man who has a happy heart being blessed by a sugar who makes his life sweet and feeling younger than before...he is indeed an ordinary person who lives one day at a time who strongly believes that a happy heart will keep you look and feel younger. really? go happy heart!