Divine visit

It’s not the kind of visit that you think it is. The whole family went to “Divine Shepherd” yesterday, October 31, 2008 to visit mama’s graveyard. Today is supposedly the day for visits but we decided to go there yesterday to avoid the heavy traffic and the congestion at the park. The place was still quiet, peaceful and clean, which I am sure today is in total havoc with too many people, the scorching heat of the sun, the inconvenience at the comfort room (which actually does not give comfort), and the rain that poured earlier (just like last year). The long walk to the highway (vehicles will not be allowed to get in) is tolerable but not the congested area. There were only few people at the park yesterday, too few compare to the crowd there is today I am pretty sure.

One thing I was so amazed about was the grand preparation of families who were there to prepare for today’s gathering. The memorial park had lost its morose spirit, its serenity, its solemnity…Yesterday, it was so lively. It was exaggeratedly jazzed up! Dressed up with lots of balloons, flowers, food stalls, toys, and even a wide screen for film showing and music! Rock music, as if there was some kind of a concert or a disco party…it has become more of a carnival or a picnic area than a funeral park. The glittering lights were so lively and too paradoxical of the lifeless lights buried six feet below the ground.

My crazy thoughts spun like whirlwind…couldn’t help but smirk at the sight. What’s this? I am glad people change…and i do too...I used to hate these dates. In fact, aside from Good Fridays, November 1 and 2 are my most dreaded dates of the year ever. I hated these days because it gave me an unexplainable loneliness and grief. I used to think that these days are meant for grieving and lamenting. My idea of these dates was entirely different from what I have seen on American movies, and read from novels and magazines. Those media actually talked about party and celebration but from my own experience, way back my ILAYA life, it was a moment of remembering our loved ones' death and grieve over it, over and over again. Although we didn't practice that in the family, but that was the belief i grew up with. Such a misconception!

Now, I have realized, it is a moment of celebration and more appropriately a commemoration of, not the death but the life, our loved ones had once beautifully spent with us. It’s always good to remember having them in our lives. Just like mama. We know she’s not there anymore. Her flesh, just like ours, is but temporal. What’s lasting and eternal is our spirit and I am very happy for her. All her earthly cares and worries are over. No more tears, no more pains. She’s now in heaven and will be there for eternity.