August was such a stressful month with me...a lot of things have transpired, good and bad...pleasant and unpleasant...this was the time when i was confined at the hospital for 5 days...i am still recovering now and hope that i can fully recover...lately, i feel so exhausted and i think i really need a break...i need a vacation and i need a rest, both physical and emotional..so tired...i can't express what i am feeling now but words can never describe the turmoil that is going on inside me...even if i pour down all my tears and drain my eyes from it, there are still tears in my heart that never reach my eyes...
how then am i going to stop these tears inside? the pain is excruciating and it's eating me up, consuming my system, my being, my existence...i wish i could go far...far away from this pain but even then, i can never evade from it because wherever i go, i will always carry this pain because the pain is ME...it's within..it's inside of me, so how can i run away from it?
time is my friend but isn't even cooperative lately...time is so mean, taking away my precious seconds and milliseconds..don't i have the right to be happy even for a moment? time, i am waiting and i am willing to wait until there is no more reason to wait..
2 comments:
i'd like to say..
you of all people deserve to be happy because i know how much you wanted other people to be happy too...
because you have done a lot for other people to be happy too..
may those elusive smiles find their way to your teary eyes..
may those tears find a red traffic light...
tears..those are just expressions of our never ending struggle to find happiness...
may we find them..
soon
you made them come flowing through my sensitive heart my best...you know how touchy i am now...like you,how i wish to be set free from this bondage...i am so bounded to my own fears and weaknesses..yeah, your right, but you see, it doesn't matter if i am not happy so long as i have the peace and freedom that i have wanted for so long..whew, confusing!
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