challenged

I woke up this morning feeling light and bright. Nothing compares to the beautiful feeling of being kissed by the sun when you go out in the open. It feels so enchanting to be under the spell of the sun. No matter how cold I feel inside, the touch of the sun’s comforting and reassuring brightness gives me the energy to be productive, more than yesterday’s.

I have been waiting for so many things to come yesterday. A special person’s message, a call from a dear friend, a package I expected to arrive a month ago (LOL), an opportunity I hope could not refuse, my sisters’ reply to my messages, and energy to head on to my research and etcetera, etcetera but none of the above did arrive. But I was still productive though…I have successfully met with my students and had lively discussions with them. I promised that this time, I will be totally different. I will be more focused and determined to achieve something in every endeavor I take. I have realized that some other things can wait…And, well, it pays to wait. I waited; have waited and will keep on waiting for things worth waiting for. Just like last night…

When you await the bliss of the moonlight spills on your head, you would fill the light sensation of the day no matter how dark it is outside… no matter how the clouds covered the beautiful skies, and the rain poured heavily on the peaceful ground, later, somehow, yes later, you would still see a glow of light somewhere and a rainbow peeping down on you from somewhere.With bated breath, I look forward for that light at the end of the tunnel as my best friend chaesa used to say..ah, uncertainties, indeed they are myriads and uncountable and…agonizing!

Summer came and ended like a flash yet the so-many things I had in mind that I wished to do weren’t done as I have anticipated. With all the busy skeds I had during the recently concluded season, I have never realized that it has already been flying, yes, flying away from me...I could only wish that it would break one of its wings so that it stays here longer. But I couldn’t do anything about reality…time flies so fast…

Though I didn't have enough time last summer and obviously I didn't quite enjoy my time off, somehow, I had wodnerful time reflecting on things, life, my future and all of the things that I want to do. Let me tell you... it is a pretty long list and I hope that I will have enough time and energy and money to do everything. Right now, I feel like I just want to travel. I want to venture out and see the world. I talked with my colleagues, Arnold and Cesar about travelling abroad perhaps to Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia in one of our not so-busy days…avail of promo on plane tickets and accommodation.. These plans came about in one of our dinners at izzy’s..we discussed so many things regarding having fun outside work…a real fun, okay? I don’t know if this could ever come true..I have started processing my passport though so that when it happens, voila, I am ready…at the back of my mind though, something is telling me that I am just dreaming but somewhere in my head, a throbbing willfulness that is, strongly hopes that this will materialize after we’re settled with our post graduate program now at Mindanao State University – IIT. Again, at the mention of it, I am having goosebumps and to that effect it feels like I am swirling and twirling and spining round and round...the idea about having to finish my thesis ow in a matter of 3 months makes me super duper dizzy…ROLF!!! God help me, I am certified getting so paranoid now…

The other day,my heart was bleeding for something but thanks to Sir mcbins who called me to join him and sir petz. Mam ces and mam myrna followed after a while. He brought a half-gallon ice cream. I felt so low and down but a cup of ice cream made me feel like a little child who easily forgets his cares… We consumed the icecream and along with it, my burden also melted like heated ice cream. Perfect. See, I have quite learned that I should not fret in life…all I have to do is just give myself a break and feel like a child…Hmmmm…I could still taste the chocolate and mango flavored ice cream…and still hear the echoing laughter of these wonderful people! YAHOO!

What else, I actually allowed myself to have a break last weekend . I joined the rest of my high school batch and attended wawa’s birtdhay party. Everytime the batch meets is like a reunion. I am happy just how these things are falling into place…I love my batch, i love my friends and the camaraderie. Everyone is simply gracious and wonderful!

I don't know what I am going to do today. I think that I am just going to relax some more. But how can I relax with a million thoughts in my head? Even in my sleep I dream about what I am supposed to do. I woke up very early today, say 4am just to start writing but when I started to do so, all the words just slipped off and drowsiness took over. Today, I mean right now, I am thinking of all the things I could write about yet I can't seem to get hold of the right word to start writing. I always end up blogging around and and all these blah blahs…here I go again!!!

One thing I was thinking about for sure is going for a driving practice even without a car yet, and maybe have my own cheapest vehicle one day…. It probably is expensive. Whatever!!! I still think that it would be a fun thing to learn though. Notice how you like to learn something that isn't going to be forced upon you later. You enjoy the freedom of learning and the pleasure of acquiring change. I believe so much in change…Right, things can happen overnight…beyond our imagination…so in all that I do I hope to make things right and face the challenge in life squarely and boldy… According to Cesar, my colleague and friend, what challenge there is to fight the beatable foe; to dream the possible dream; or even reach the reachable star? With that I pause and say, if that’s the case, life could be SO MUCH BORING…so thank you GOD for allowing trials; thank you God for all the challenges that I have to face; and thank you God for making my life so beautiful and colorful. Indeed, nothing compares to the beauty of life when it is spiced up with obstacles and circumstances as these make life more worth fighting and living for!