dorcasistically dorcas

welcome 2012

2012-01-08T19:37:00.008+08:00

i admit there were really moments when i was so silent. there were times i opted not to write anything or shared whatever "bits and bobs" that were going on in my life. when those times come, it doesn't mean i am bidding goodbye to my passion to write. nope! it only means, i am only giving myself a chance to be quiet and lighten up. whether i am happy or otherwise, i just sometimes feel the need to give in to silence and solitude.

well, for those who know me well, i know this is not surprising to you. you know my mood swings. and you know exactly what propels me to write. when you don't see me posting anything on my blogs, it never does signify i have forgotten my inclination to writing. i still write though but in my journal, log or planner. So, for those who do not really know me, better be quiet if you have nothing good to say!

honestly, the year 2011 was really hard. it was in fact the hardest year i have ever experienced in my entire life. it seems that all things in life were mixed up together and have caused so much confusion in my head. i have reached the point of really wanting to say "ENOUGH!" and then lose my sanity. i know this is rude but you see, life was just so unfair. i may not be able to put everything here in detail but really i find my life so unfair. i hope one day, i have all the answers to these questions. i hope in due time, i will have the peace of mind that my heart so desires.

God, i don't ask for anything beyond what i need but even meeting my needs have strained my faith a lot. i have let go and i said i LET GOD but still i saw something was wrong which i just couldn't define. my kids are growing up. they are trying to understand what we are going through but for so many times, it was I, who mostly had a hard time understanding life.

i don't expect for anything. i just want peace and at least make my heart have its share of joy and peace. things had really been strenuous with me and i hope and pray that by 2012, life would be very different and a victorious one!

i choose to fight. i choose to survive. I choose to move on! This is my life and no matter how annoying some people are sometimes, i have no choice but to accept them as they are and choose to change myself for the better.

i am looking forward to a better year in 2012 - at work, family, friends, studies, other things and most especially in spiritual aspect.

I am giving God full control this year and ahead!

happy 2012!

YOU

2012-01-08T18:49:00.001+08:00

You bring light to my darkened life
You bring joy to my scarred heart
You bring inspiration to my discouraged soul
You were there when i needed you most
Cheering me up, giving me the challenge i need
And loving me even when i am at my downiest moods
You understand my flaws
You listen to my never-ending qualms in life
You make me laugh when I need it the most
You comfort me when i felt like hope is gone
I never want to lose you
For it will only make my life
Not worth living
I want to spend the rest of my life with you
It means living with you
And dying with you.
I have found my truest happiness in you
Your love may not be perfect
But it is so perfect to complement with mine
You complete me
You took away the emptiness
You filled the vacuum within
You are the one I have been waiting for.

My Perfect YOU

2012-01-07T20:23:00.002+08:00

My perfect YOU

In my pain, you are my reliever
In my sorrows, you are my great comfort
In my frustrations, you are my sun
In my heartaches, you are my medicine
Oh how can you be so perfect?
Perfect for my empty soul

In my defeat, you are my victory
(the champion of my life)
In my doubts, you are my assurance
In my sadness, you are my joy
In my loss, you are my gain
Oh how can you make me win the battle?
Turn my foes upside down, so here I stand

In the darkness, you are my light
(that keeps my path bright)
In my discouragements, you are my hope
In my weakest moments, you are my strength
At the downiest part of my life, you lifted me up
Oh how can you put up your love with me?
Love so great, a love so true?

In my failure you are my success
You set me free from bondage
(and broke my woes away)
You made me new
Gave me a brand new start
I am free, this is me
Thank you for your love

You said I’m your perfect masterpiece
You are my great artist
You etched every part of me
You carved me excellently
I am beautiful and my life is
because of you
With colors that brighten my life
How beautiful…
You are (you…You…you)

2012, roll!

2012-01-07T18:43:00.003+08:00

4 years ago, i gave birth to this site. This was my baby and i took good care of it. this served as an important part of me because this is where i usually poured down my rain of thoughts and emotions. This has become my confidante each time i felt like giving in to life's obstacles.

it's really wonderful to have this. This used to be my "metamorphosis" which pictured out the tapestry of my life. from a very tiny larva, lurking inside a chrysalis, in due time, i came out from my cocoon, ready to spread my wings and fly like a colorful butterfly.

i may have been scared in life. I may have been a coward at times but the long years inside my cocoon have made me brave and ready to face the challenges in life...

this is another year and i am excited to face new challenges in my life...This means sharpening my being me more to become a better and polished individual.

this is what we call life...

Bridging differences through language For a Peaceful Community, Country, and World

2012-01-07T10:34:00.009+08:00

"J'taime te Amo", "Jeg elsker deg", "Ani Ohivet Othka", "Muyot tu biem", Ichadaw ko imo", "Kabayaan ko s'ka", "Gihigugma ko ikaw", "Iniibig Kita"...

Different languages...
different cultures...
different races...
and yet evolving within one world...

These words sound differently yet convey one definite meaning and that is "I LOVE YOU". Love in any language, so to speak. But how can people from different cultures who speak different languages understand each other? The answer is simple. We call it the power of language.

Language, as it is commonly and simply defined, is a tool for communication wherein man is able to express his feelings and ideas. It is one of the means for effective communication which enables man to materialize his inner thoughts. Man, even in his solitude, knows and understands that he needs language, may it be verbal or non-verbal, to bridge the wide chasm that keeps him away from other people and even from his environment. He needs to build a bridge for him to be able to come across and reach out to others. This bridge is called language. As an adage goes, "no man is an island", there is a need for man to move, mingle and interact with other people for him to achieve his ultimate goal in life.

Language, no matter how diverse it is, has a way to patch up the missing link between man and his world. It has its way to bridge people's differences simply because language is one essential tool that connects us to all the peoples of the world.

What life would have been without language? Certainly, the world would have been in chaos and life itself would have been in utter disgrace. It is through language that we make other people understand our feelings, desires, thoughts and ideals. And, as it is man's ultimate goal to attain peace, he strives to materialize this dream. However, can peace be possibly attained in the absence of language?

Even from the very start, language plays a very essential role in the creation of the universe. Language was already there. It co-exists with the Creator of the universe. Harmony in nature was achieved, beautiful creations were created out from the language that God used. Perfect masterpiece was displayed with the use of language. The Biblical point of view of the origin of language tells us that "in the beginning was the Word and the word was with God" and it is confirmed in one of the books of the Old Testament that says everything that God said was created. He created Ex-nihilo, meaning, out of nothing, but with the power of His Word. When He said, "let there be light!" and there was light! and the rest of God's creations were made with the use of language - except one special creation, MAN. It is the same language that God used when He blessed Abraham and Noah, Moses and Joshua, and other Biblical characters, prophets and disciples. God used language when He commanded Adam and Eve to multiply in number and the same language when He drove them out from the Garden of Eden because of disobedience. My point is, God Himself knows the importance of language, that is why, language is part of His beautiful masterpiece.

However, we can never equate the value of God's language with the human langauge because God is always Holy and everything in HIM is holy including His language while man's language is distorted because of sin. Biblically speaking, there is a need for restoration of man's language.

Moreover, when we take a glimpse at out cultural background, our ancient people have used language as their way of reaching out to other people. Despite diversity in cultures, differences in races and tongues used in the past, unity was still within reach. There was understanding among different cultures and tribes. Peace was there.

Is it still possible for the present generation to attain peace? as we can see, peace seems to be very elusive! Is there a way to bridge the gap that exists between our Muslim and christian others? we should not forget that our glorious past heritage has valiantly fought and defended our country for the cause of peace and freedom. they shed their blood to attain our life-long awaited dream, peace! is there ever an answer to that? Yes, there is! It's language! although language may not be a cure-everything medicine for peace, but it can break the walls - the barriers that hold us apart. Let us not allow ourselves to be trampled down by our own ignorance. Let God's wisdom teach us to promote peace through language, a means of effective communication. When there's conflict, let's negotiate it properly and let language be one appropriate resort, a language that melts down differences and promotes peace; a language that brings us closer to ourselves, to other people, and to God, above all.

Lastly, let us promote peace by committing to this famous line, "let peace begin with me". it is imperative that peace should emanate from each individual.

How so?

I should begin using language properly with tact, blessings and love for effective communication, one that - bridges, builds, edifies and restores relationships.

May God's beautiful language overflow from His heart to ours so that we can boldly say, "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me".

QUESTIONS FOR ME51:

1. Explain briefly in 2-3 sentences the significance of language as cited in the essay.

2. Cite another 1 Biblical and 1 scientific examples (not mentioned in the essay) of the importance in the use of language. (2 sentences only)

3. If you were to play God for one day, what will you do to improve human communication in the light of all the crises that beset our land / people?(2 sentences only)

GO, go, go, explore marines!

SPEAK UP for NICOLE and CHAD

2011-08-11T11:44:00.006+08:00

Literary Criticism (English 29)

Try to look into this situation and analyze it yourself..then speak up for someone in this situation...

At 18,Nicole was madly and deeply in loved with Chad, who was a year older than her, and Chad said he was too, with Nicole. Nicole was expressive and outspoken of her emotions for Chad unfortunately, Chad was sort of reserved and was showing disinterest in the relationship but he assured Nicole that he does love her.

He gives extra reasons for spending less time with her. Work is involved, family, studies and all the reasons in the world that every sane and sensible man could ever fabricate. No matter how much Nicole tried to absorb in her mind and heart that her man does really love her, she could not feel it inside.

This went on for 3 years. Nicole kept trying to preserve and hold on to the relationship because she values the time with him, the feelings for him and the relationship with him, considering that they have been together for 4 years before tying the knot.

They were engaged, yes. They have been engaged on their first year anniversary. Such a grand celebration and a romantic event for both of them. But the following years, the engagement seemed to disappear in thin air. Still, Nicole loved Chad as always however, whatever she was feeling inside was not compensated. Nicole was born to be a fighter. She told herself that she's going to hold on no matter what happens. Then wedding came. They were wedded on their 4th year anniversary.

On their 5th year in the realtionship and 1st year in marriage, she bore him a son before Chad decided to work abroad. Nicole saw the same passivity in him. But monetary wise, she was well-provided and the boy. But for Nicole, Chad's love was more important to her than any material thing. He lavished him with gifts and presents everytime he comes home but he could not feel Chad's presence even when she's holding his hands.

One day, out of the blue, she realized that the relationship was already dying and she feared that it will die a natural death. The gap between them has grown wider and deeper and Nicole couldn't help but break down. Nicole really loves him and she knew she would still fight for him but she felt that there was no point of battling for him. She felt all alone and no assurance was ever laid for her.

If you were Nicole, what will you do? if you were Chad, will you remain passive and unmindful of Nicole's dilemma? If you were Nicole or Chad, will you keep the relationship? Will you hold on to your marriage? Will you hold on for each other?

TO NE26

2011-08-11T11:41:00.002+08:00

guys, due to some inconvenience, instruction for your online assignment will be posted on saturday 12:00 noon..you need to wait due to some connection problems...please be careful with your posts. thank you...

prof. Dee

tears in the heart

2010-09-14T11:14:00.002+08:00

August was such a stressful month with me...a lot of things have transpired, good and bad...pleasant and unpleasant...this was the time when i was confined at the hospital for 5 days...i am still recovering now and hope that i can fully recover...lately, i feel so exhausted and i think i really need a break...i need a vacation and i need a rest, both physical and emotional..so tired...i can't express what i am feeling now but words can never describe the turmoil that is going on inside me...even if i pour down all my tears and drain my eyes from it, there are still tears in my heart that never reach my eyes...

how then am i going to stop these tears inside? the pain is excruciating and it's eating me up, consuming my system, my being, my existence...i wish i could go far...far away from this pain but even then, i can never evade from it because wherever i go, i will always carry this pain because the pain is ME...it's within..it's inside of me, so how can i run away from it?

time is my friend but isn't even cooperative lately...time is so mean, taking away my precious seconds and milliseconds..don't i have the right to be happy even for a moment? time, i am waiting and i am willing to wait until there is no more reason to wait..

confused

2010-07-31T18:05:00.002+08:00

the month is about to end but i feel so unproductive...i am really lost...groping in the darkness...i am confused..so confused...whew! life...i am having fun @ work though but still, somewhere at the back of my mind, i feel so empty...i am bloating...argggghhhh!!!

challenged

2010-06-28T01:28:00.003+08:00

I woke up this morning feeling light and bright. Nothing compares to the beautiful feeling of being kissed by the sun when you go out in the open. It feels so enchanting to be under the spell of the sun. No matter how cold I feel inside, the touch of the sun’s comforting and reassuring brightness gives me the energy to be productive, more than yesterday’s.

I have been waiting for so many things to come yesterday. A special person’s message, a call from a dear friend, a package I expected to arrive a month ago (LOL), an opportunity I hope could not refuse, my sisters’ reply to my messages, and energy to head on to my research and etcetera, etcetera but none of the above did arrive. But I was still productive though…I have successfully met with my students and had lively discussions with them. I promised that this time, I will be totally different. I will be more focused and determined to achieve something in every endeavor I take. I have realized that some other things can wait…And, well, it pays to wait. I waited; have waited and will keep on waiting for things worth waiting for. Just like last night…

When you await the bliss of the moonlight spills on your head, you would fill the light sensation of the day no matter how dark it is outside… no matter how the clouds covered the beautiful skies, and the rain poured heavily on the peaceful ground, later, somehow, yes later, you would still see a glow of light somewhere and a rainbow peeping down on you from somewhere.With bated breath, I look forward for that light at the end of the tunnel as my best friend chaesa used to say..ah, uncertainties, indeed they are myriads and uncountable and…agonizing!

Summer came and ended like a flash yet the so-many things I had in mind that I wished to do weren’t done as I have anticipated. With all the busy skeds I had during the recently concluded season, I have never realized that it has already been flying, yes, flying away from me...I could only wish that it would break one of its wings so that it stays here longer. But I couldn’t do anything about reality…time flies so fast…

Though I didn't have enough time last summer and obviously I didn't quite enjoy my time off, somehow, I had wodnerful time reflecting on things, life, my future and all of the things that I want to do. Let me tell you... it is a pretty long list and I hope that I will have enough time and energy and money to do everything. Right now, I feel like I just want to travel. I want to venture out and see the world. I talked with my colleagues, Arnold and Cesar about travelling abroad perhaps to Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia in one of our not so-busy days…avail of promo on plane tickets and accommodation.. These plans came about in one of our dinners at izzy’s..we discussed so many things regarding having fun outside work…a real fun, okay? I don’t know if this could ever come true..I have started processing my passport though so that when it happens, voila, I am ready…at the back of my mind though, something is telling me that I am just dreaming but somewhere in my head, a throbbing willfulness that is, strongly hopes that this will materialize after we’re settled with our post graduate program now at Mindanao State University – IIT. Again, at the mention of it, I am having goosebumps and to that effect it feels like I am swirling and twirling and spining round and round...the idea about having to finish my thesis ow in a matter of 3 months makes me super duper dizzy…ROLF!!! God help me, I am certified getting so paranoid now…

The other day,my heart was bleeding for something but thanks to Sir mcbins who called me to join him and sir petz. Mam ces and mam myrna followed after a while. He brought a half-gallon ice cream. I felt so low and down but a cup of ice cream made me feel like a little child who easily forgets his cares… We consumed the icecream and along with it, my burden also melted like heated ice cream. Perfect. See, I have quite learned that I should not fret in life…all I have to do is just give myself a break and feel like a child…Hmmmm…I could still taste the chocolate and mango flavored ice cream…and still hear the echoing laughter of these wonderful people! YAHOO!

What else, I actually allowed myself to have a break last weekend . I joined the rest of my high school batch and attended wawa’s birtdhay party. Everytime the batch meets is like a reunion. I am happy just how these things are falling into place…I love my batch, i love my friends and the camaraderie. Everyone is simply gracious and wonderful!

I don't know what I am going to do today. I think that I am just going to relax some more. But how can I relax with a million thoughts in my head? Even in my sleep I dream about what I am supposed to do. I woke up very early today, say 4am just to start writing but when I started to do so, all the words just slipped off and drowsiness took over. Today, I mean right now, I am thinking of all the things I could write about yet I can't seem to get hold of the right word to start writing. I always end up blogging around and and all these blah blahs…here I go again!!!

One thing I was thinking about for sure is going for a driving practice even without a car yet, and maybe have my own cheapest vehicle one day…. It probably is expensive. Whatever!!! I still think that it would be a fun thing to learn though. Notice how you like to learn something that isn't going to be forced upon you later. You enjoy the freedom of learning and the pleasure of acquiring change. I believe so much in change…Right, things can happen overnight…beyond our imagination…so in all that I do I hope to make things right and face the challenge in life squarely and boldy… According to Cesar, my colleague and friend, what challenge there is to fight the beatable foe; to dream the possible dream; or even reach the reachable star? With that I pause and say, if that’s the case, life could be SO MUCH BORING…so thank you GOD for allowing trials; thank you God for all the challenges that I have to face; and thank you God for making my life so beautiful and colorful. Indeed, nothing compares to the beauty of life when it is spiced up with obstacles and circumstances as these make life more worth fighting and living for!

don't forget!!!

2010-05-15T00:36:00.002+08:00

Never force yourself on someone who don’t deserve your love
No matter how much you love that person if you’re not compensated with the same kind of love, you will end up regretful
Never push yourself on somebody who pulls out from your grip because if you do you will end up blaming yourself for the remorse that person will have for you
Never allow the other person to mar your reputation because you will not have him / her forever and what you will have in the end is bad name
Never lose your self-respect for after all that’s the only thing you have that others can’t take away from you unless you give it away!

my 2010 birthday celebration

2010-05-12T13:59:00.003+08:00

i had a very wonderful birthday celebration again with rethse.it was celebrated in my newly constructed "ha payag" last May 8th, saturday.. which i will feature here soon.LOL...more upates about my birthday later...

xenji's diary

2010-05-05T23:59:00.010+08:00

this is an experience of a traveller and adventurer named xenji, a fine and rich young man who happened to land on what-seemed-like an unknown paradise. There, he met a naive native girl whom he fell in love with. His experience is told from his diary which xenji wrote while he was on his adventure. this is a love story which will indeed touch your heart and make you fall in love like xenji and hurt you the same. Read and fall in love with your mind and reason with heart!

Day 1
May 5th

I am considered to be one of the greatest men in our land, respected and looked upon by my people. I have lived in grandeur. I have been to many beautiful places in this world. Lately, I received an invitation from the King of a neighbouring country to go on a voyage towards Asia and it was an honor to accept the invitation.

We just arrived from that long voyage this morning and we landed upon a beautiful island surrounded by waters. Here, we were welcomed warmly by browned skinned people of the land. They offered us gifts brought to us by beautiful women in their finest oriental ornaments. One woman caught my attention. She was among those women who welcomed us at the shore with graceful dances. She was modest in her actions, refined, and naive. Her eyes were sparkling like the purest water. Her smile was so innocent pulling the chords of my heart, creating beautiful melodies. Her skin looks so soft and fair like ivory. Her long hair , black and shiny gave a glowing effect under the rays of the sun.Her sultry lips are red like cherries pouting in an angelic way and her teeth set perfectly by nature gave me the feeling of seeing an angel in disguise.

We were ushered into the house of their leader. Here, I have seen their affection for gold because everything in this house was covered with gold. We were treated with beautiful dances and wonderful songs with the accompaniment of their native musical instruments made from bamboo and wood.

We were served with sumptuous foods. The table was laden with the best fruits and the glasses were always filled with wine.Everybody was in the state of euphoria while my gaze was searching for that beauty I saw earlier. She was in merriment with our hosts. The hosts are very hospitable people who love to laugh and be merry. It is in this house that we were told to spend our night.

Exhausted from our travels, my weary body is telling me to take a rest. While lying, the woman who impressed me earlier kept on haunting me. As much as I would like to close my eyes and sleep, I cannot do so because the image of the woman kept flashing on my mind. Her beauty overtook my senses as it lingered in my mind. I could not wait for the sun to come and bathe us in its glory. I would love to see the woman again and know her name. For now, I would close my eyes with thoughts of her, wishing to see her in my dreams tonight.

xenji

cont...

Day 2
May 6th

in a paradise–like island

I was awakened by the chirping of the birds weaving beautiful music in my still sleepy consciousness. The sun was up when I heard the bustle of activities outside my door. Just when I was about to change into my morning clothes, I heard a knock on my door and a manservant came in with a new set of clothes. He was followed by men carrying tubs of hot water for my bath. I refreshed myself with the bath and scented soap they offered me. Feeling so clean and fresh, I went out of my room and there I saw how beautiful the interior of the house is with fresh flowers emitting scents that would tick your senses. The wooden sculptures depict the typical life in this paradise. The rugs that obviously came from the east just like the one I have in the room back in my home are of superior quality, an evidence of how wealthy this family is. I was ushered to the dining room and I saw the different food on the table. Fruits of different colors and shapes that are new to me are within reach. The aroma of the native coffee made me crave for the food served on the dining table.

When i sat on the chair I felt a presence that gave me a pleasant sensation. Then the lady of whom I was thinking the whole night appeared beside me carrying a plateful of what they called "sinangag", it's a fried rice with various toppings. the aroma of the food set before me made me hungry but her scent made me hungrier. However, at the sight of the lady, I lost my appetite even before I have tasted a morsel. My craving for food was satisfied and I felt a different hunger.

I spent the day with the host and his family. They toured me around the scenic spots of their land. We came upon the falls, so majestic in their splendor.The water was cold but surrounding it are beautiful flowers of different colors which I have never seen before. There, I had a chance to talk with the lady whom I admire. The leader of the land, Datu Sirad introduced me to her. She gave me a tamed smile and looked at me as she offered her hand for a handshake. I kissed the back of her hand and indeed it feels like silk. There, she told me her name. chaesa, what a lovely name.

Now I am inside my room, taking a rest after a day full of fun and excitement. I can't wait for tomorrow to come and see her beauty again,... Shhhhh... chaesa...chaesa...chaesa... you enchanted me my lovely fairy.

xenji

cont...

May 7
3rd Day in Paradise

I woke up with uncertainties. What was beautiful last night become a nighmare today. A realization that what I am feeling for this beautiful lady is a mistake considering that I have mymy fiancee to think of when I return. How can I feel this way towards Chaesa whom i have known barely two days? A young and simple lady who is a stranger to our land and culture. What am I thinking? We haven't even talked about us. And here I am trying to exaggerate things. If other people would know about this, they would surely laugh at me. This is a dillema that is inevitable knowing that I have my fiancee to think about whom my parents have chosen for me for the prupose of expanding our kingdom and retain the glory, and retain our fame and our name.

What am I thinking? I am spending my time thinking about this woman and how i feel for her when in fact I dont even know if the lady feels the same way. I should focus my attention more on my family back home. But why do I feel such? I haven't felt this way before with Shalani even I know that she's more special than any of the other women I had in my life. Thinking and feeling this way makes me feel an infidel.I am not being fair to her! She has been loyal to me and has been loving me for a long time. And the realization of what I am thinking is far too impossible taking into consideration that we belong to two different cultures. We grew up in two different lands with different set of rules and customs.. Our outlooks in life may vary and may even lead us to clashes of personalities and principles.

And am I to be blamed if we are taught to retain our imperial characterestics? That is so preserve and maintain within the clan and wealth, power and fame of all cost. Am I also to be blamed if I fail to meet the expectation of my family? Is it fair that I have to sacrifice my feelings for this native girl who touched my heart more than anybody else just because I have to uphold our credibility and maintain our position in the society? What I felt for Chaesa is far more intense that what I felt for Shalani..Ahhh. Complexities!!

I spoiled my time with Chaesa thinking about this... I am sure Norjani will understand what I feel towards Shalani because it is accepted in our culture.... but I dont think so if they will understand my feelings with Chaesa who is from a different culture. Much more I do not know if Chaesa will understand our culture which is entirely different from hers.

Ahh... confusions....

xenji

cont...

May 8
4th day in Paradise

I just learned that this paradisiacal place is called KAGAYHA-AN. The guesthouse where we are housed is so grand. Accordingly this is purposely built to house visitors and royalties like my friend and me. The place is sorrounded with fruit bearing trees that give shades and cools the wind of the otherwise humid day.

I felt so glad to know that we were given the chance to be alone with only her personal chap as a companion. Early today, i enjoyed her company without the meaningful glances of other people around us. We explored the sorroundings and came upon a garden of exceptional beauty with the flowers in bloom, blending in different colors and shapes. The garden was enhanced by the low flying butterflies of different size and colors.one flower from another drinking the fragrance of each flower. As we were in this garden, I can smell the scent of chaesa.... sweet and dainty.... A scent of the lady in bloom...

I did not expect her to be learned in the affairs of the world but to my surprise she can tackle any subject I threw her. I was surprised to know that she is knowlegeable in other subjects such as philosophy, arts and trade and even as mundane as agriculture. We had a great time.. We just talked about anything under the sun and I was amazed on how much compatible we were with our ideas and opinions although I realized that there are basic differences brought about by our cultures but just the same we had a great time together. We can laugh at any slight provocation from each other. I felt that I have known her for so long. I felt so comfortable being with her. I have also sensed that she is at ease with me. I have told her things that I never knew I have concerns for. She continually surprised me with her intelligence and wit. She is like an onion to me.. Since I knew her, it is like peeling an onion. She reveals a different side of her everytime I thought I have figured her out. She delights me incessantly. I have never met anyone so atuned to my ideas and opinions. I have never met anyone whom I am so comfortable with. Chaesa is not exceptional lady. I can feel that my feelings for her is growing stronger each minute I am with her. And, I guess no man in his right mind would not fall for her, for she is a sight to behold. She can compete in beauty with any woman from my city. My feelings for chaesa is not comparable to Shalani and, Norjani, not even to any lady that I have known before in my country, because, she understood my desires, my hopes and wishes as if she has known me for more than three years. With an inherent beauty and a brain capable of assimilating the various topics we had for discussion she can hold her ground in front of any scholars in our country.

As I am reliving all the things that have happened today, I realized that chaesa may be having the same feelings for me. I can see that what I feel for her is mutually felt by her too. I can visualize the two of us together in the future. I think if given the chance, I would live today again and again just to be with her. Hmmmm......a sweet memory.....and i have to sleep tonight bringing with me in my dreams that sweet memory of her back in the garden...

xenji

9th of May
day 5 in paradise

i don't know how i should feel when i received chaesa's letter. i felt a deep twinge of pain and at the same time a pang of guilt for telling her my feelings towards her. am i too fast and so insensitive that all i care about was how i felt for her? here's her letter.

My Everdearest Xenji,

I couldn’t find any word to express what my heart wants to say. I don’t even know how I am going to face you after you told me about what you feel towards me. It doesn;t mean that I don’t believe you. It’s just that things did not work as what we thought should be. I believe you have a clean intention and how I wish we could make both our dreams come true. But my friend, I am saddened by the thought that we are not meant for each other. Even if I also feel the same way about you, We are still destined to follow our fate.

How am I going to tell you that I really love to be with you? I treasure every moment I spent with you and cherish the memories it left in my heart. Like you, I am also bound to marry someone else. I can’t deviate from our culture as well as from my parents’ expectations. He is also a handsome man like you, a warrior from other province. His name is Ececron. However, I could not tell if I love him as much as I love you but I don’t have a choice because reality is far more important to me than to live in fantasy., He loves me too. His father, the chieftain of their village has arranged our marriage with my father. It will be unfair to him if I say I don’t like him because he's also very lovable and could be any woman’s dream. But when I saw you, I felt a different feeling. Only, this couldn’t be realized. Yes, my dearest Xenji, no matter how I cherish your love, you are still a fantasy to me. A dream that I will never have. Just like a star, you can always gaze on its beauty and dream about and yet too impossible to reach.

Somehow, I began to despise our differences in culture and in everything for there is only one common about us and that is love. But you see, love is not the only thing that matters in this world. We have so many things to live up to. Indeed, our culture is the main hindrance to our feelings. You’re so near yet so far. I hope that our sons and daughters and the next generation to come will not suffer the same feelings that we have. May they have freedom to choose whom to be with forever. I hope that time will come that culture will no longer be a barrier between two lovers and that they will not be bound to follow their cultures but their hearts. I am not trying to be rebellious but I just feel this is not right but as what I have said, for the sake of my family and my culture, I am declining from your proposal to marry me. I am hurt by this truth but we really have to face it this way. I hope that our friendship remains so that if time permits and we meet again, we can just both laugh at this experience. I will share this to my fiancee for it is just the right thing to do. I will be proud to share this wonderful memory to my children and my children’s children. I am sure that they will love me for denying my feelings even if it pained me so much. xenji, let this letter be an eye-opener to both of us. We have the right love at the wrong time... so long my dearest friend... wish for your happiness.

“ We will only be a memory that never fades like my love that will last forever”

affably,
chaesa

having a good family relationship

2010-05-01T11:27:00.000+08:00

It’s human nature to feel socially wanted. It is the nature of man to have the sense of belonging and the desire to love and to be loved. This need is part of the basic needs of man for survival. Accordingly, no man is an island. This saying suggests that man, by nature really needs someone to talk to, confide with, and share life with. Just like the other basic needs of man, social interaction which makes up the social life of man is an important tool to building good relationship.

When we talk about family relationship, we do not only refer to the parents and children relationship but it also comprises the connection it has to those around them. In other words, a family relationship is a springboard and a connection to any other relationships. It means that if one relationship is a failure, it follows that another relationship may not work out as well. And if family relationship is good, so is the relationship of these members to other people outside the family.

Accordingly, a family is the smallest unit in the society. Without a family, building a society would be impossible. Politicians and other government officials are nothing without the family that binds every single entity in the society. It is the family that interacts, builds, socializes, patronizes and makes the society a harmonious and a beautiful place to live on. That is why it is called a society because it refers to people and their role in it. Now, the family plays a very significant role in the society not only because it procreates, interacts and multiplies, but more so, the family is the important cast of characters in the drama of life. They make and unmake issues in the society.

Because family is important, it becomes the central point or the very focus of scrutiny. Too much is expected of a family and most importantly, the basic pattern of social interaction largely depends on family relationship and interaction. Most often than not, a child’s behaviour is always attributed to how he / she is being raised in a family. The behaviour of a child is most often a reflection of how he is being reared in his home. He is mainly influenced by his parents’ and siblings’ attitudes and behaviours. So, if something is wrong in the family, it will always show in a child’s performance and attitudes towards other people. The pattern of social interaction is seemingly distorted thus needing to be addressed. However, if a child is raised in a very loving and happy family, the child grows emotionally healthy and socially capable. He is very sociable and shares a peace-loving countenance thus creating harmonious relationships with other people around him may it be in school, workplace, or even with the neighbours. This is why the government is very keen to addressing family problems and making it as the focus of their programs so as to build a society that is united, peaceful, harmonious and loving.

The question now is how do we attain good family relationship? Communication is an important element that sometimes is overlooked in the family. Too much familiarity oftentimes causes communication gap and eventually leads to misunderstanding and broken homes. The principle is always and the same. We need to open up and share our thoughts and emotions with our loved ones, with our family, more specifically so as to attain understanding and harmonious relationships. According to Isagani Cruz; “we cannot give what we do not have”. This statement posits that if we don’t have a good relationship with our own family, how can we even better our relationships with other people? It certainly takes a lot of effort to be able to do so. If we do not possess love for our family, if we do not care for our very own wife, husband, siblings, brothers, sisters, how much harder would it be for us to love others? The saying “blood is thicker than water” is always true in this sense. No matter how irresponsible our husbands are, how ugly and unattractive our wives be, no matter how immature and bully our siblings are, we have to accept and love them because they are us and we are them. The principle goes this way, “I am a reflection of my family “in the same way that “my family is a reflection of me”.

Moreover, the Bible is very straightforward about giving instructions to husbands, wives and children. The Bible says, “husbands love your wives”, means husbands should not treat wives as helpers and simply as their better half but his “total person”. It means to say, husband cannot exist without the other and so it goes the same with the wife. The Bible also says, “wives submit to your husbands” do not mean you follow everything he says and tells you even if it means destroying your reputation and your family. Submission means giving in to his headship in the family, not overpowering but clinging on to his plans. But to the husbands, it does not mean, not listening to the wives’ voices and plans. It simply means give each other a chance to be heard. It’s tough, and it is indeed a taxing responsibility. But very fulfilling indeed. After all, it is what we have sought for in marriage, we want a harmonious and peaceful family, so there’s no other option but to follow what the Bible has to say. Further, the Bible also says, “children obey your parents…” and “honour your father and mother…” These are both found in the Holy Scriptures in the Apostle Paul’s letter as well as in the Ten Commandments. If we intend to have a longer and beautiful life, we ought to follow this rule. As to our siblings, didn’t God ask Cain where Abel was after he slew him? And Cain deliberately denied by asking “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Obviously, God made it clear that He wants us to care for our own brothers and sisters. And once we do that, we are guaranteed of a beautiful relationship with other people. Say, a perfect friendship like Jonathan and David; a beautiful in-laws relationship just like Naomi and Ruth as well as a beautiful husband-wife relationship just like Boaz and Ruth. More examples can be gleaned from the Bible that will tell us how important good family relationship is to God and of course to humanity.

The question is how? As a college teacher, I believe so much in the power of communication. I believe all we have to do is communicate effectively. Make sure understand and you are udnerstood. If there are problems and ways we don’t like from any of our family members, then speak up. We need to learn to share and open up. There’s no better solution than to tell the problem straight to the one concerned so that it can be properly addressed.

I have thought of some important ingredients to having a good family relationship and these are:
1. Values: respect and helpfulness, trust and honesty, obedience and acceptance, fidelity and faithfulness, forgiveness and generosity, understanding and love.
2. Learn to submit, learn to give way, and learn to listen. Know when to talk and when to keep quiet. Learn to be generous not only materially but also be generous with your time. Spend quality time with your family.
3. Share. Laugh and cry with them. Share your deepest concerns and secrets with them. Go out and have fun with them just like the old times when you were still boyfriends and girlfriends or when you were still kids.
4. Do activities together. Go to church together, pray together, go to the beach, watch movies together, share the old jokes, sing, dance or jog with them.
5. Make God as the center of your family.

Remember, even if you do all these, man in his limitations will be exhausted at the end of the day so that doing all these things or maintaining all these acts would be taxing. Sometimes, we tend to flare up, get angry and run short of patience and understanding. We have little energy left for our children to work with their projects and assignments or too occupied with our own problems that we tend to ignore our partner or sibling’s little qualms. This is human nature. But God’s nature is different. He never runs out of resources so that when we fall short in doing these for the family, we need God’s sustaining grace.

In short, the ultimate source of a harmonious family relationship is God. Once we allow Him to dwell in the midst of the family or allow Him to be the center in the family, all these other things will just flow and follow. Unless we have beautiful relationship with the author of marriage who is God, the best lover, our bestfriend, Heavenly Father, our faithful brother, only then can we attain the truest meaning of good family relationship.

my opinion on early marriage (for BA35)

2010-04-30T17:45:00.006+08:00

“Yes, I do”; “for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse…” these are lines our ears are so familiar with. These are simple lines, and are easy to memorize but carry a very heavy responsibility because it has something to do with one’s lifetime commitment, marriage. Now we ask, what is marriage? We may say, it is the exchange of vows between two people of the opposite sex who are madly in love with each other. Obviously, that wouldn’t be all. There is a more than just the superficial meaning of marriage. So what is it really like? Only those who are already in the bonds of marriage can totally give the exact definition of the word and who can descriptively elaborate how it is like to be there.

Our minds have already been set to the idea of the sacrament of matrimony. Yes, marriage is sacred. Therefore it is not a joke and should not be taken as a joke. It is a serious decision committed by two responsible individuals who totally understand what they are about to enter into. In other words, couple who will engage in it should be ready and should be totally equipped with the knowledge as to how it should be managed. According to studies there are different stages of marriage, marriage by capture, that which happened before when slavery was rampant. People would marry by capturing slaves for marriage. Another one is marriage by purchase. Some cultures still practice this which we call dowry. And for Christians, we have this marriage for love. But whatever type of marriage one is in; there are corresponding consequences or results to such marriage.

Since we live in a Christian nation which believes on marriage for love, let’s then focus on that kind of marriage. How many of our couples in the Philippines married for love? I believe everyone who engaged into marriage would say “i do”. However, despite this kind of marriage, this is not I believe the only thing couples should look into. There are other important aspects that we need to consider when we enter into the sacrament of marriage. What do our marriage laws have to say? We follow a certain requirement to be able to qualify for marriage and age is one very important requirement that couples who are planning to marry should consider. Some marry at the age of 30, others at 40 and most in their 20’s but there are also those who marry at their teenage years and even younger than the legal age. We call this kind of marriage as early marriage. Early marriage which is also referred to as child marriage is common all over the globe and has inflicted dangerous and devastating effects on young children who are compelled to tie the knot in marriage. In many parts of the world early marriage is a gratification for overcoming the family’s financial and social needs.

Early marriage is common not only among the rural areas but also in the urban. Most teenagers who engage into such early marriage belong to the below poverty families and that those usually who are involved are out of school youth. Although in some cases, there are also young people who marry early not because they are poor or they want to be secured financially with the spouse, some marry for mistaken emotions as love, we call it immaturity. Too many young people think they are capable enough to become husbands and wives and parents that they tend to forget the possible consequences of getting into that responsibility at an early age and once they are already there, they begin blaming each other for the wrong decisions or for whatever sufferings they are facing. Other than that, there are still other numerous problems a couple can face when marriage happens at an early age for them. I love Jose Garcia Villa's short story, “Footnote to Youth”. It talks about marrying at an early age. Dodong married at a very young age thinking it was the right age for marriage. It was too late when he found out that he was too young for marriage. He had grown too old after years of toil and labor for his family and so was the wife, Tinang. Worse, his eldest son Blas when he reached 18 years old also fell in love and wanted to have his own family as well. Dodong wanted to stop his son and tell him not to follow his path but what can he do, teen age love is just so powerful, far so powerful that it overpowers youthful love to triumph…

The case of Dodong and Blas is very common. It happens almost everywhere and I believe that without proper guidance, severe fights and violence could lead to broken homes and broken marriages and to that effect will further increase delinquents in our society. Although Dodong and Blas' marriage did not end that way but their common experience was an unpleasant picture of marriage at an early age. The father and son actually held on and clung to their marriage despite the hardship but how many Dodongs and Blases are there in the open who are willing to sacrifice up to the end?

I always believe in marriage at the right time. Why rush when marriage is not a competition? Remember, it is a gift. A sacrament and should be properly taken care of. It should not be treated just like any possession which you can barter with anything or for something you would like to have later. It is not something you take in like food that if you don’t like the taste, you will just spit it out. Marriage is for keeps and it is for lifetime. There is nothing wrong with marriage. It is a gift wherein two people involved should enjoy and treasure together, not to suffer from. So as an advice to the youth of today, they should not be hasty in making decisions nor rush on things because as the saying goes, regrets will always come last. So don’t just think twice or thrice, but think a million times before jumping into conclusion that indeed, you are ready to say wholeheartedly to your partner “till death do us part”.

Mother: the woman behind the person that you are

2010-04-28T20:33:00.003+08:00

happy mother's day everyone...i miss you so much mama...i love you...the same greetings goes to ate loida, ate leah, ate bem and all my friend...

wait to wither or wither in waiting?

2010-03-15T16:01:00.002+08:00

love is a journey and i consider myself traversing through this emotional adventure. it starts from a certain loading station and goes straight to its destination. however, unless it is a non-stop trip, we wouldn't experience stops in between stations. but love is not like that. from one point to another, we experience different feelings of either comfort or discomfort, of uneasines, convenience or inconvenience along the way. we may be with people whom we don't like, other people tend to irritate us or would keep our blood to the boiling point or sometimes we even encounter those who are cold as ice or deader than zombies. we would want to evade and skip that trip or would prefer to go to the next level but whoa, we won't be able to step to the next phase unless we have passed through these atrocities and learned a great deal of lesson from this experience.

this journey sometimes keep us off balance, and off our chairs. sometimes this would numb our senses because of the length of time spent in the waiting but take note that no matter how we feel and what we have gone through, we will always arrive at the desired destination so long as we always keep on the right track. and, if we don't, the waiting would be all futile and then we go back to the same adventure of searching and looking for the right love.

we are all in the same trip, but arriving at our destination depends on how we deal with the situations we encounter along the journey. remember, there may be rocky roads, steep cliffs that may entice us to swerve to the safest and easiest road, or plains that may bore us away and take love for granted. there may also be ups and downs and challenging or super exasperating experience that take our breaths away, but we must be mindful that love is not at all just like that...it's all in a package...all the good and the bad things are wrapped in there. thus, we need to take care of it because it is so fragile. we might break it.

the waiting may take a long time but as soon as we get there, so long as we took care of it the right way, we will always see that love is still love regardless of time, space and situations. but the question is should we wait to wither or wither in waiting for the right love?

Gazing at Dead Stars

2010-03-10T02:35:00.006+08:00

I have read and reread "Dead Stars", a short story written by Paz Marquez Benitez but still so skeptical about the story. Was it Esperanza's fault why Alfredo should be confused with his feelings towards her despite the span of years that they had been together? We will observe that at the onset of the story, Alfredo was searching for that same excitement he felt years ago when he started courting Esperanza as well as the first few years of their togetherness. Alfredo was looking for that spark, of that friction and the chemistry that he used to feel when he was with her but to his surprise, he realized that he was already bored of being with Esperanza. Can we blame the girl if the man loses his interest on her? What should a woman do then to prevent that? But can she always prevent that if this happens considering that circumstances and time are not within our control? I am not speaking for Esperanza, nor for myself. I am speaking for every woman out there who have become victims of false hope.

Here comes Julia Salas, a very promising young girl who was witty, outspoken and carefree in life. She didn't care about what other people had to say about her. She was not bound to anything. She was highly-spirited and full of vibrance who captivated the attention of Alfredo. Obviously, Julia never had the intention to lure Alfredo nor did she insinuate any emotional attachment between her and ALfredo. She was just an all-out girl who believes on the genuineness of friendship and emotions. She may have fallen for Alfredo but she never tried to seduce him. Alfredo, on the one hand, was in a way already showing his interest towards her but she shrugged off the idea because she knew where she stands. She knew that there was Esperanza. But what was between her and Alfredo that kept her waiting for 8 years for Alfredo to come to her life again? Did Alfredo give her false hope?

Alfredo, the man every woman could dream of, handsome, manly, intelligent, and responsible. Was he selfish? I am made to believe that he was! It was as if he wanted both women to be part of his life and not lose any one of them. Despite having gotten married to Esperanza, he was still aspiring for Julia Salas. It was evident in the lines mentioning that Alfredo seemed to be distant and beyond Esperanza's reach no matter how close they were in bed. Physically, he was with Esperanza but his mind was absent. It flew to where Julia Salas was. In other words, ALfredo couldn't let go of Julia Salas. Whatever relationship they had was like an unrequited love...and more than that, it was unexpressed, unrevealed and concealed. Can we really blame Alfredo for the complexity of his feelings for the two special women in his life when he actually made a choice, the choice of marrying her fiancee and rejecting the supposed newly-found love interest?

I love this story as it always gives me so many insights every time i read it and the more learning I get from this when I discuss this with my Literature class. I guess my students love the story as much as I do. in fact, when i gave them their final project, one student asked me if she could just work on this story because she had gleaned quite an insight from it. i didn't concede though but i should have let them do it for expression.

I posed 2 questions for my students to answer based from the story as taken from Alfredo's lines:

1. What is love indeed? is love a mere fabrication of perfervid imagination, an exaggeration of the common place, a glorification of insipid monotonies? is love a combination of circumstances, or sheer native capacity of soul? Is love a decision or a destiny?

2. And have you ever come to a point in your life where you have to choose between what you want to do and what you have to do?

My students answered these questions as if they were very sure of their answers but if you give a second thought and contemplate on these issues on complexities of love and decision-making, we are really confronted with difficulty in choosing what to do...

As usual we winded up the story with the many lessons in life, personal and vicarious experiences. We came to a wonderful finale. Some sympathize with Esperanza, others with Julia and some with Alfredo himself and each has his own reason why.

well,there may be so many of us, whose gardens have withered and yet like Esperanza, have never lost hope…she kept clinging on to the vines of faithfulness and love…although alfredo was beyond her reach, her hopes and undying love watered the withering gardens until such realization overtook his senses…some of us may also be like Julia, hoping for a bright star to dawn on her until forever is gone, until the sky grows dark and stars shine no more, until there are no more reasons to hope, hoping that love still would find every reason to give the wilting heart the courage and strength to go on hoping..

whatever one is gazing at; whatever dilemma he is confronted with, he should always learn to value the real meaning of love…although, as they say, love remains to be an eternal puzzle yet we know within us, that the answer to that mystery is just within us…love…love..love.yes, years ago and until this very moment, i thought about it and i know for sure that i am gazing at dead stars…

Blogging: A New Classroom Teaching Strategy

2010-03-07T22:48:00.001+08:00

The school is said to be the child’s second home and in that sense, classroom activities are expected to be within the students’ realm of experience. They have to feel comfortable and at home while in the class. But how could that be possible? The thrust of teachers is to make learning an enjoyable one. Every day, teacher seeks to come up with effective classroom strategy so as to foster the interaction in the class between the teacher and students. Teachers have gone out beyond their resources and try to find new ways to enhance the teaching – learning process in the class. Thus, with the advent of ICT and technology itself, one strategy that has become very known for classroom interaction is blogging.

What is Blogging? This sounds a new-fangled craze among traditional teachers in the teaching arena. For the new generation teachers however, blogging is not a new thing. When internet became very popular, blogging has also become one of the users’ forms of communicating and airing out their sides, ideas and opinions. There have been many descriptions for what blogging is and means. In its simplest form a weblog or blog is a web site where its content is authored by an individual or group of individuals. Commonly, a blog is a website where an individual writes about his topics of interest. So in its very fundamental form, blogging is a legroom where people can easily create topics on the web. Users need not know HTML code or any other code to post content on a blog. Blogging software is based on a server, but once it is set up people can create an account and then add their own content. One way to think of a blog is a two way street between the content creator, and their audience.

With Blogging, as with other technologies, the questions posed by those who found blogging a hard task and additional burden for teachers seem to be: “Why should we be doing this?” or “What makes blogging an effective way to teach students today?”
There are quite a few reasons why we may want to engage our students in using a blog or similar tools. Some teachers are using blogs to build learning communities, improve interest in their content areas and enhance learning.
The very nature of blogging lends itself to students becoming engaged in reading and writing. Blogging is not simply an online diary; it can be structured around activities that lend itself to using a blog. Personally, I have been using “blogging” in my Reading, Speech, Language and Literature classes for about two years now and I find it fascinating both for me and my students. I post readings or literary pieces, if not links, where questions are also provided. All they have to do is post their comments or answers then search for links that would justify, help and support their answers.

Browsing and surfing the net as the “in” thing in this generation plus the accessibility of Wi-Fi almost everywhere make school tasks, activities and assignments easier as these classroom stuffs can actually be done and catered online. Teachers nowadays have a better option of making their students write their assignments. These can also be done in other subjects like Science, Math, Filipino and other subjects as well. So basically, these situations allow students to begin connecting what they are doing in separate classrooms, thus allowing them to begin to see the interconnections between different disciplines.
Blogging can also be used for a reflecting purpose. Since blogs can be organized by date and subject students can see how their ways of thinking have changed over time. Looking out on the web we will see some people that use their blog strictly for this purpose. Sure some of them may be computer geeks, but our students are now becoming more and more comfortable with computers, so the sense of blogging being geeky may only be for the older crowd.

Student portfolios have been around for a long time. In fact, most teachers nowadays, if not all, require students to submit a portfolio that is, a collection of their work while in the class which is of course to their own advantage. By doing so, students are trained to make their own personalized portfolios where they would put all their accomplishments, achievements, experiences and learning process. This undertaking is very useful for their future. However, again, with the advent of technology companies no longer simply want a paper copy of a portfolio that they can look at during one’s interview. In today's world, employers want to have a website of an applicant’s work. So with blogging, this gives students an advantage of being able to show their work and progress as students, as well as giving them the ability to create a site of their own in the future is an indispensable skill. As a teacher imagine being able to see what a student, that is now sitting in your classroom on the first day of school, has done in prior classes. This could have a real impact on what it is we are truly teaching students.

Accordingly, blogs which people create for communication and journaling can be used effectively as a teaching tool to reach and react with a target audience. They are changing teaching and allowing different learning practices. Here are pointers taken from a blog site which suggests 5 ways a blog can be used as an effective teaching tool in everyday classes.

The first advantage of teaching using blog is that its location and timing of learning itself. When using a blog to post links to resources, assignments and communications to students, students will not be tied to location or a time schedule for learning. This advantage allows students who are busy with work, sports and other commitments to read and understand content that they respond to outside of the physical classroom. This is a new way of thinking for teachers who are used to time and course restraints. The learner becomes much more independent. Teachers are also not dependent on technology that might malfunction during a set time period. If a computer or audio system is down, learning or posting can be done at a different time.

Another advantage of blogging is that learners become content suppliers or input providers. Learners become participants in deciding the content. Teachers are used to being the suppliers of content. By using a blog, students can direct what they want to learn. If peers are blogging with each other and experts, they may find links or information that they are interested in learning about, that goes beyond what the curriculum defines as the requirements. Learning will be more demand-oriented.

Instead of the teacher being the only presenter of content, the teacher can use experts or people who are closer to a situation to deliver content. Since there are millions of blogs for gaining information, there can be many views provided. There may be a new or personal perspective that you can't gain from history books. Students might want to know how people feel presently about the past wars.

Thirdly, blogging increases learning motivation. Blogging allows for students to be more motivated learners. On the pyramid of effective teaching styles, lecturing or talking is the least effective method of student learning. People learn by engaging in a topic, reviewing a topic, or teaching about a topic. If teachers want to show a video, demonstrate a hands-on experiment or show a virtual field trip, they can do this on a blog that a student can view at their own time. Students can teach others. A student will have a chance to reflect on the presentation before they respond. The reflection time may produce a more complete understanding of content.

Next, blogging increases communication competencies. Students will learn to communicate clearly because of the medium for posting responses. By practicing phrasing questions and comments clearly, the students will develop effective styles of communication. Students will need to post questions such as "what keywords would I use to search about..." rather than "what does that mean?" Journal writing is one form of writing. Expressing yourself without face to face contact means you must have good grammar and punctuation to make your message clear. Students will get practice using skills they'll use regularly in our world of text communication.

Teachers who want to teach effective communication and achieve clarity can direct students to resources. They could provide links to sites such as how to write bibliographies, and sites with clear definitions or effective podcasts. Teachers will have to demonstrate effective communication themselves to be role models. Clarifying what is required, posing clear questions, and responding quickly will be necessary for teachers and students.

And fifth, blogging promotes collaborative learning. Collaboration will become more common. Teachers will rely on others to present accurate content and links. Experts such as professional artists, writers, scientists, journalists will have different perspectives on a topic and could provide a more complete lesson than the teacher alone. Peers will rely on each other for advice and information. "Where did you get that?" or "send me that link" would be common messages posted.

Teachers will be able to collaborate with other teachers in education who can provide current, better or more unique materials for teaching and learning. They can add lists of blogs that they are following to their blog. Collaborative content is exemplified in sites like Wikipedia where definitions are provided by many and updated as more information is obtained. Students will see that insights and information change over time and does not remain static.
This and other teaching strategies would foster dynamic interaction between teacher and students, as well as live up to the expectations of the new trend of teaching in the 21st century classroom, a more learner-centered, interactive and dynamic teaching – learning process.
So, let’s blog!

Source: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1644306/blogging_five_advantages_of_teaching_pg3.html?cat=4

TRIVIA

2010-03-02T10:07:00.003+08:00

nicole was madly and deeply in loved with chad and chad said he was too with nicole. nicole was expressive and ouitspoken of her emotions for chad unfortunately, chad was sort of reserved and was showing disinterest in the relationship but he was assuring nicole that he does love her. no matter how much nicole tried to absorb in her mind and heart that her man does really love her, she could not feel it inside. nicole kept trying to preserve and hold on to the relationship because she values the time with him, the feelings for him and the relationship with him however, whatever she was feeling inside was not compensated. nicole was born to be a fighter. she told herself that she's going to hold on no matter what happens. until one day, out of the blue, she realized that the relationship was already dying and she feared that it will die a natural death. the gap between them has grown wider and deeper and nicole couldn't help but break down. nicole really loves him and she knew she would still fight for him but she felt that there was no point of battling for him. she felt all alone and no assurance was ever laid for her.

if you were nicole, what will you do? if you were chad, will you remain passive and unmindful of nicole's dilemma? if you were nicole or chad, will you keep the relationship? will you hold on for each other?

a prayer

2010-02-09T07:17:00.003+08:00

like a fully inflated balloon
i let go of what had been blowing up inside
set it free until i see it no more
it flies high to the skies
until the clouds kiss it
and the sun embraces it
the wide horizon welcomes it warmly
the space cherish its presence
it is where it is supposed to stay
but it won't stay there forever
for it too will burst and shatter into pieces
like this this poor weary heart
ready to rupture and split open like fresh wound
my spirit so barren,my soul so lost
my heart so void..
but the chasm within is unbearable
can no longer bear the weight of loads
nor contain the rancour it gives me
it devoured my whole being
consumed the persona in me
if i am emptied, i can have another fill
when everything is poured out
let the putrid stench revelation
be replaced with a potpourri of heavenly whiff
and fragrance of peace and love
you've got to spill the surety
of your affection, that i too need
i can have another try
i can be broken again and again
and gathering the pieces won't be hard anymore
but i can never hold each debris
that falls out of place
cleanse me from all impurities
that tarnished my being
make me, mold me again like a beautiful vessel;
a perfect masterpiece
seethed with love and compassion
bathed with the sunshine of hope
unbustled, chaste and unblemished
consecrate me with serenity and fortitude
mend me and make me whole again...
let me fly not like a balloon which
will soon split open
but like an eagle that soars high
and never gets weary...

unforgettable

2010-02-08T00:49:00.004+08:00

there are words
that the mouth cannot speak
feelings that pen
cannot put into writing
nor the eyes can reveal

there are sorrows
that smiles try to conceal
emotions tied for expression
pain that throbs like eternity
and scars that never heal

there are memories that outgrow time
and can never be put to oblivion
people who have touched our lives
who made a difference in us
and are simply unforgettable...

relieved

2010-02-03T10:37:00.003+08:00

feeling so relieved and ecstatic today after having received the comprehensive exam results for MAELS. it was such a long wait...a long wait and such prolonged agony...the waiting and praying paid off though...i passed in all exams although we are sad that there are 5 of my classmates who did not make it. however, we are praying and keeping our fingers crossed that they will really make it on the retake...

now, i am facing a new phase in my maels life...concentrate on thesis writing ang hopefully graduate this march...hopefully lang ha but not so sure...at least i still have summer to finish everything...come june,i will have another life to face...thanks GOD...

celebrating life

2010-02-01T14:13:00.007+08:00

today is a very special day for menoc siblings because this is papa's 71st birthday. we may not be celebrating his birthday grandiosely but inside our hearts we rejoice more than ever. we could not stop thanking God for Papa's life because if it hadn't been for him, we will never experience God's miraculous deeds in our lives. God showed His power and miracle when papa got sick 33 years ago...

yes,he was 38 years old when he was paralyzed. we lived in malinao, kalilangan bukidnon when papa got sick. we were all very young and little kids then. manoy was turning 16, ate loida was barely 14, ate leah 12, ate bembem 9, ate ningning 8, me 4, and joan, our youngest sister was 1 year and 8 months old. mama was just about my age now when papa got sick...how did she manage to raise us all 7 children and a bedridden father? God indeed was faithful enough to give mama the strength she needed and the courage to move on with life. if i were in her shoes, i don't know i would ever handle that situation she was in during that time. it was indeed God's moment to show His power and perform His miracle.

while the physician gave up on papa's case, as accordingly it was a hopeless case, mama along with my older siblings did not lose hope. they clung on to God and kept on claiming HIS promises. His promise of healing and promise of provision. i may not be able to explain in detail the pain and sufferings they have gone through but this is what it is, GOD IS REAL and HE never gives up on us even how much little faith left in us...HE remains faithful. That's what our family has experienced.

papa was brought out of the hospital after weeks or months perhaps of confinement, after all our resources were used up...the whole family then moved to Cagayan de oro city to start a new life. Mama bore all the sacrifices. she took all the burden of feeding us and taking care of papa. she showered us with love, compassion, and understanding. above all, she taught us dependence upon God. By mama's exemplary faith in God, we have learned to rely everything to HIM too. in all her activities and efforts, she made God as the center of it and never faltered to return all the favor and glory to God. mama never had a family of her own here in cagayan de oro. her own siblings were also far from her at that time. nobody was there to aid her but God alone. her constant company, friend and confidante was God. she poured herself out to Goid in prayer. one thing i admired about her, she was never sorry for her situation, instead she was very optrimistic about life. you would always see glow in her eyes, the hopefulness and assurance that everything is taken care of by God. that was really unbelievable. that was mama. she was a strong woman, someone whose life was filled with compassion and love especially for us and PAPA.

going back to papa,slowly he recovered from being stucked to bed. he started to smile, react to noise and people, he started to roll his eyes, move his fingers then started to ask for food and started to talk. it was indeed a miracle for us because while the doctor said he was a hopeless case, back to where we stayed in cdo, papa had recovered even without medications! mama would just massage him everyday with "banios", (ginger with oil), a natural liniment...when papa woke up from his illness, he could not remember what happened to him except for some events or people that have impact in his life. he forgot everything! except mama...he knows that mama was his wife but he could not recognize any of his children...my older sisters kept talking to him and made him recall his past. he would laugh and sometimes talk about it too until he would recall names, sing old songs, dance old steps...we were a happy family! complete, closely knitted together, open, loving, understanding, God-fearing..it was not a perfect family but for me, my ideal family.

joan and i grew up seeing papa behaved like a child. we played with him and sometimes even fought with him. but mama made us understand that papa didn't mean to hurt us or hit us. he was just playing with us. so we got used to his punches...LOL..it was his way of showing his "lambing".

when mama left us almost 9 years ago, everything has changed. blessings flowed more abundantly and most remarkably, papa behaved differently. there was so much improvement in him. he stsrts to go to batchroom without fighting. he takes a bath without getting angry at us or throwing water at us, does not hit us anymore, does not hit the walls, he goes to cr when he wants to pee, (but sometimes he still forgets or perhaps he's just lazy to get up so he needs more training) but really, he's changed a lot. i guess he understood the feeling that mama is gone. i think he felt it inside that he has to take care of himself too because his partner is not here anymore.

everyday, papa's presence is an inspiration. he gives us joy. now i am old and so is papa. he's 33 years older from the time he got sick but also 33 years also of being blessed by God. God is really awesome. His faithfulness never waivers. i know God has a message for us siblings and those who have seen God's miraculous works in our lives that indeed, God can do wondrous deeds in us. He can make a way when there seems to be no way. For me, i know i have been faithless in HIM and unfaithful to HIM but regardless of all my shortcomings, my HEAVENLY Father is more than loving, understanding and forgiving enough.

i am not only blessed of a "papa Preding", my earthly father, i am more blessed to have a HEAVENLY FATHER who sustains me all the time, in my ups and downs, HE IS ALWAYS there.

today, as i celebrate papa's birthday, i could not help but also celebrate the LORD"S goodness in our lives..so i give HIM back all glory and honor for the gift of life and the love HE BESTOWED on us.

a whole new me

2010-02-01T06:36:00.002+08:00

good morning sunshine, good day world!
i am facing a whole new me now and
looking forward for great things to happen
ahead...

sometimes, we need to be broken
to become whole again...
we need to experience pain
to appreciate life's sweetness..
we need to experience failure
to see the value of success...
we need to experience frustration
to understand the meaning of satisfaction...
we need to lose something
to be able to see that we have
so much to be thankful for in life!

pag muni-muni

2010-01-31T12:31:00.002+08:00

kung ang butang maguba, mabuak, magisi, pwede pa mapulihan ug bag o but ang sentimental value ana nga butang lahi na kaysa original value nga naka attach to that thing...like marriage, once broken, lisod na mabalik..maka palit ba ta anag bag o? ma repair pa ba? naa bay epoxy nga effective kau to patch the broken pieces?

so embarrassed!

2010-01-28T12:56:00.004+08:00

i felt so beautiful today with my new red blouse i took from liza's stuff. i wore my shiny black pair of sandals which is about 2 1/2 inches high... it felt so great to walk with ease and grace especially when you are comfortable with what you are wearing and when you know that you really look good in it...

my speech class this morning with my nautical students was held at the speech laboratory for an actual speech reading. i had such a wonderful time with them as you all know, this is a group of students that will either make you laugh or cause you hypertension...both extremes they are! but today, they were so participative and everybody fared well so i ended a class with a smile on my face...i was happy and contented with today's activity...i left the speech laboratory with so much feeling of contentment and fulfilment...

when the bell rang, i had to rush back to the office to prepare for my next class at 10:30. there were nursing students crowding in the hallway looking into some postings at the bulletin board, exam sked perhaps. some of these were my students in my literature and reading classes before so while i was still a few meters away from them, they were already waving their hands and calling my name...of course, you have to be cordial to your students so even if i had all these books and papers tucked in both arms, i have to give them big grins and a nod and a queenly wave..lol...

things happen too real fast...while i was so preoccupied responding to my students morning greetings, i didn't notice that the floor was too slippery that i swung for what i think a thousand times before i actually landed on the floor with bended left knee, the right foot seemed extended to my extreme right as if performing a cheering squad final exhibition...my books , papers and chalk box were scattered on the floor as if i just had a wonderful party with confetti...my students were astounded at the sight of me on the ground! i could see them gaped their mouths with disbelief or probably more of embarrassment and confused as to what to do. nobody laughed but all eyes were glued to my direction! gracious! how i wish that floor would just split and swallow me up! my face turned crimson and i felt so feverish. i never felt the pain, i stood up all at once while after a few moment, two students helped me pick my things up.. i stood up straight notwithstanding the pain and then i laughed and jokingly said, "gosh, nursing department is the cleanest department in this university" then i went to a nearby office and told some people i know about what happened to me. they just told me,"nah, careful jud ka ma'am oy, nag 5's man gud karon...you know na..." Indeed, i could not do anything about it anymore but accept the fact that i was too clumsy and too limp.i was really so embarrassed.

nadaut ako aura with my grand entrance this morning pero it's all worth the experience...i felt like i just had won the ms. universe beauty pageant...hope we can take life as easy as that situation i had earlier. what i mean is when we fall, no matter how painful and embarrassing, let's stand up where we have fallen, and never mind the pain, it will heal in due time along with embarrassment..pero when we fall, we should have epiphany para we'll make this experience all worth it...dapat naa jud tay natun an...just like,

unsa kaha tua ila floorwax no? mangutana ra ko...LOL!

incongruent

2010-01-27T14:33:00.003+08:00

Amidst the tranquil emotions
Came an unexpected deep sensation
for something inconceivable, unreachable
Why is it so impossible?

Letting go of it, the better had it grown
In wonderland it was ever known
surfaced again, this forsaken affection
was never ever put to oblivion

Untimely 'tis you have come to existence
invaded my solitude, conquered my essence
I was lost when i found you, ah, irony
how can we ever patch up incongruity?

Crazy

2010-01-27T12:33:00.001+08:00

Patsy Cline

Crazy, I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely,
I'm crazy, crazy for feelin' so blue......
I knew, you'd love me as long as you wanted,
And then someday, you'd leave me for somebody new.
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wonderin', what in the world did I do?
Oh, crazy, for thinkin' that my love could hold you.....
I'm crazy for tryin' and crazy for cryin
And I'm crazy for lovin' you.
Crazy, for thinkin' that my love could hold you,
I'm crazy for tryin, and crazy for cryin
And I'm crazy for lovin' you.....

optimism in the midst of predicaments

2010-01-27T10:52:00.004+08:00

When I woke up this morning, I felt light and bright…nothing compares to the beautiful feeling of being kissed by the sun when you go out. I am so enthralled to be under the spell of the sun. I felt so cold inside but the warmth that its brightness spills to my murky disposition gives me the energy to be productive, more than yesterday’s.

I have been waiting for so many things to come yesterday. A special person’s message, a call from a dear friend, a package I expected to arrive a month ago (LOL), an opportunity I hope I could not refuse, my sisters’ reply to my messages, result of our comprehensive exams, and etc but none of these did arrive. But I was still productive…I was able to feed all my students’ scores for midterm to my laptop so that after midterm exam I will be ready with their grades. I promised that this time, I will be totally different. On Prelim, I was being issued a memorandum for late submission. Well, that was because of my children’s health problems. Anyway, it pays to wait. I waited; have waited and will keep on waiting for things worth waiting for. Just like last night…

When you await the bliss of the moonlight spills on your head, you would fill the light sensation of the day no matter how dark it is outside; you would still see a glow of light somewhere.

With bated breath, i look forward for that light at the end of the tunnel as my best friend chaesa used to say..ah, uncertainties, indeed they are myriad and agonizing!

a dose of my own medicine

2010-01-25T20:28:00.002+08:00

We are indeed wading through the murky global swamp better known to the cybernetics as computer age, cyber age, internet obsession, technological advancement. Whatever it is, none so far can change the humanness in us, that feeling of joy and sorrow; the wanting for carefree and the misconception of life. Try this blogging thing instead; we might learn something about what life is and what it is not.
For those who are sick like me of the mundane and boring and maybe…depressing life, watch out…for those who try to overcome the downside of life, and make everything bright and promising again. Here, take a dose of my own life and try the pill of advice I devised for myself.

My posts may sound too mundane and that nothing seems new. What are we here for anyway but for something ordinary right? We don’t want the strange feelings, we hate the uniqueness of things, we don’t want change, we dislike transformation…we refuse shift and transitions. We want the old us, we want the real us...

This sounds so depressing and yes, I am! But somehow, with the best of my ability, I would like to try to put in something helpful for you in as much as it is helpful for me too. I am not happy with my life but obviously I am not sad either. Others may find my life enlightening or motivating and my optimism may lure you to take the challenge of moving on and so hope do I… I really hope it turns to the better, and might give you some real initiative in your own too to make yours a better one!

So, needing some therapeutic mind? I do, so I strive to sketch and paint my life with colors. I write to make me feel better. I fortify myself with the language only those who share with my thoughts and emotions understand. Others may not empathize but I couldn’t blame their being pathetic after all this is what life is being made of…made of the sympathetic and the pathetic. I don’t know where I exactly belong, neither perhaps but I know for sure I am genuine and straightforward by all means to what I feel, say and do.

I love writing and ever since, this had become my motivation material to keep me going although at times I am tempted to be sluggish…I turn to be so slack especially when my eyes are blinded with lies…my mind tells my hands to stop pressing keys for expression…my mind becomes nailed to only a specific event and declines to reminisce the unpleasant events. This I call selective “amnesia”. I surely needs electrifying.

Now, why are you reading my post? You know that I am sick. Sick with life, for so many reasons and I don’t want to count them one by one. But honestly I want you to consider this. How would you like to stay in one roof with someone you resent so much, soneoine you have so much remorse with?

Alright, alright, I admit. I’m a recluse, and…selfish, totally unorganized in my life, and slowly losing interest in life itself.

I’ve often wanted to end my life. I mean for honesty’s sake, I am not happy anymore. But saying I am not happy accordingly means I am such a selfish person who seeks only for what satisfies myself and whose life is geared towards selfish motives. I am not sure if that’s right but actually that’s not what I have in mind. I am simply not happy with things that are happening in my life right now. Forget it. I am sounding so totally paranoid.

What made me like this? I wasn’t a negative person before. I used to be so optimistic; always thinking of myself and aspiring to be always on the top of everything, even to my own emotions. I simply wanted freedom. That’s it. I wanted myself back. I don’t wanna live in this invisible cage. I am seeing the world and yet I don’t. I just simply wanted the simple life I had before and bring back my loved ones whom I have lost already. That is what I call life.

With the past glitz of myself and the present dark side of reality now, I opt to shut my eyes, close my mind and refuse to think…no, I don’t wanna think anymore…

But enough about the past, here I am now, and perhaps I'd much rather like to look forward in life, rather than look backwards because for one good reason might be that looking backwards might suck me back into that old life again and make me commit the same mistakes, arghhhhhhhhhh…enough with my hastiness…my decisiveness, my stubbornness…my paranoia…my old self…

Think. Look forward. Move on. Device a plan. Scheme out. Fight yourself.

First up, I need to get healthy again, so I need to get fit.
Next I need to stop procrastinating, and start on everything as they come.
Step off from complacency and be optimistic that I’ll finish everything I have started.
Disregard the uninterested and disinterested people and focus to those who wanted to become part of my life otherwise I might regret losing them.
Of course, courage is another thing. I need to pick up the one I have lost over a mistake. Falling doesn't mean dying. I may have been hurt but I still have chance to straighten up and start brand new. Yes, I need courage in everything I do, courage that will soon build up confidence so that my life will look brighter and colorful, no more grayness…
A directed and organized life with principles, governed with practical rules and routines Open minded. Accept the things that couldn’t be and forget about the could-have-been’s and the what if’s…
Most importantly, let God be the center of your life. You might think HE is there but you actually haven’t noticed how you have set HIM aside and swept HIM off your heart.

Sneak out and see for yourself what will happen after this…out of my sheathe, will emerge A NEW ME…

Mystified By you

2010-01-23T17:22:00.001+08:00

Regal. Splendid.
There’s something about your shadow
An enigma one couldn’t explain
This isn’t just I s’ pose a phenomenon
A fashion a trend or an obsession
Every tinge of it brings about a fulfilling sensation
So deep. So alluring. So mystic.
Always been blue yet cherished the passion
Hailed it on a plinth as if the ultimate
source of being and bliss but
I have been wrong. I woke up
One day feeling so different I started
To have a diverse perception of what
Was then, what is now and what
Is to come I reflect I concluded
That beauty indeed is in the eye of the beholder
And that he who holds that beauty
Is dearly loved.
With a passionate awe for reverence
And extra estimation of loveliness
Beyond the real tangible hues
Comes the magic of the unfathomable
Mirth that mesmerizes my heart. My soul’s
Entangled deeply into its mystery but
The magical spell that enchanted
these sight seems to shroud my whole
Being. I looked for you everywhere.
You are you.
Unique in every way but you are there for me.
Ever enticing.
Above and beyond the horizon I see you
No more but in my dream you stay
And will forever hold that special
fondness of you.
Yes, it’s you and only you.
My much loved hue. You.
Purple.

do i always have to?

2010-01-22T16:34:00.002+08:00

Do I always have to tell you what is in my heart when I could not find the right words to say it?
Do I always have to shed tears when heartaches become my ally and sorrow my friend?
Do I always have to be silent for a moment when uncertainties creep in and consume what little hope there is left for me?
Do I always have to let go for others’ sake when you know that holding on with you is a promise I will never break?
Do I always have to end up answering the myriad questions perching in my head and yet remained unanswered?

do i always have to?

2010-01-22T16:34:00.000+08:00

in HIS arms again

2010-01-21T17:40:00.004+08:00

Every vein calls for restoration
A soul deeply entangled in a maze
Unsolved, complex and vexing
A spirit barren and lost
Totally drained and deranged

A throbbing soreness in the cranium
A constant grapple within
Stretching, pinching my system back to reality
alone, torn, groping and I ask, where am I?

The wise speaks of his wits
The powerful, of his might
The wealthy, of his uncountable riches
The king, of his royal robe

They boast for what they have
But haven’t found out what they do not have
They flaunt their luxurious possessions
But conceal their rotten ego

I knelt down in humility, pleading for help
For nothing else can bring me back to life
But there is someone who can bring back life to me
My Redeemer, my Light!

When I say listen to me

2010-01-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

When I said “why?” I meant you speak up
When I said “it’s okay” I meant you forget it
When I said “go ahead” I meant it’s up to you
And when I say “please”, I meant you listen to me…
I am begging…

When I said “I don’t know” I meant I had doubts
When I said “maybe” I meant I wasn’t sure
When I said “of course” I meant to assert
And when I say “I love you”, I meant you listen to me…
I am sincere…

When I said “don’t bother” I meant it’s no big deal
When I said “yes”, I meant you can have your way
When I said “no” I meant let’s take another option
And when I say “enough”, I meant you listen to me…
I’m fed up…

When I said “alright” I meant you go on
When I said “I’m losing you” I meant hold on
When I said “I care” I meant you’re in my heart
And when I said “goodbye”, I meant you listen to me…
I am leaving…

When I said “it’s too late” I meant time has been wasted
When I said “one more chance” I meant we start all over again
When I said “sorry” I meant I admit it was my fault
And when I say “no more” I meant you listen to me…
It’s over…

managing a challenged life

2010-01-21T14:23:00.003+08:00

let me tell you that what i am going through right now with my masteral studies is not easy. probably, if this opportunity happened 10 years ago, i would have probably been more productive. today, i see it nothing more but just a compliance to the school's requirement for vertical alignment.

it took me three years to finish my first masteral degree. it was also like beating myself hard and cracking my nutshell just to be able to make it. with 2 kids to attend to, a "special" father to take care of, a husband to think of who seemed not to understand my plight, a very demanding job (lots of IG's to make or revise), and all other little concerns but no matter how little they were have in a way effect to my studies.

it was like passing through a needle's eye when i graduated from my Master of Arts in Education, major in English. it was no wonder that in between thesis writing and proposal defense i had so many hyperventilation attacks, suffered vertigo, i tuned insomniac, and worst migraine became a constant company and some stress-related symptoms surfaced in my feet. it was embarrassing that i had to go to my doctor for over-breathing only to be asked to breathe in using a paper bag. it was kindda funny but cute and i learned from it. the next time my hv attacked, i did the therapy by myself. i suppose it went that way for almost the entire school year. most unforgettable of all, was spending new year's eve at Capitol University Medical Center. I was confined after christmas due to extreme stress caused by following hectic class skeds, involving in school christmas activities and beating my proposal defense. every single activity was successfully attained but my health gave in. i was admitted in a suite room, with extra superb privacy (i have always dreamed and wanted , the hot and cold shower, multi-channeled tv, refrigerator, a space for the kids to loiter around...perfect amenities for a hotel room but definitely for a woman who thought was dying at that time, these could never be enjoyed as much as appreciated.

now, i am seeing this again as another experience i think i have already gone through. however, this is tougher and more pressured than ever. the exams are strenuous, requirements are heavy and time-consuming, professors are really up on their standards and we keep our toes on tiptoe to catch up with them. we have to finish though by hook or by crook. we still have along way to go. i guess, the idea about not marching on graduation this march has already sunk in to our system that we never thought about it anymore. what we are up to now is to pass the comprehensive exams, proceed with the thesis writing which most of us are now into data gathering. hopefully by first week of march 2010, we should be ready for the final defense then. then off to final revision and book binding.

So, with or without graduation, even if we will not be marching down the graduation aisle, even if we will not be wearing our academic gowns, we are still optimistic that we will really finish our thesis and submit it before summer.

we are looking forward to be free from all these hassles by summer so that at least we can concentrate with our work at the same time enjoy the luxury that summer time offers. hoping to go somewhere else (that somewhere still i don't know where, LOL) where i can be alone and gather myself back (as if i am really shattered)...honestly, i am too tired and burn-out that i wanted to let go of this surmounting agony i am feeling inside. just don't know how. God knows i am too weak emotionally and physically right now.

and maybe, part of the long-range plan is to enroll (again, LOL) in our doctoral program, if not at MSU-IIT, the rest of the guys are considering Cebu Normal University (CNU)...let's just see what will happen then. well, my concerns for now aside from maels, are my kids. whew!

i had a bad start of the year. my kids got sick. apple went through neurological check and medication for polyposis and thanks God she is now recovering especially from migraine. we went to an ophthalmologist, she was advised for a new eyeglasses due to astigmatism. her vision is still fair with 20/25 but she still needs to wear her glasses for protection and prevention. few days later, while apple was still on medication, red had fever and later was found out to have german measles. i brought him to his pedia for proper medication. since gm is a viral illness, the doctor advised him to be confined for isolation to avoid contamination. however, due to financial constraints and considering i have my classes i could not set aside, i opted not to admit him to the hospital which the doctor approved with the following condition that red had to be taken to the hospital on the following dates given for check up.this was also for the purpose of preventing possible complications. it was really tough spending few hours sleep just to attend to the little boy's qualms. again God, our Jehovah Rapha and Jehovah Jireh provided healing and provided our needs for the kids.

never ending suffering. never - ending sacrifices...never ending trials and challenges...but all of these are nothing because i serve an INFINITE GOD who sees and understands, who supplies and makes everything under control.

one day to go and i will have my last exam for maels, then the rest will be agony in waiting for the result. What will I do without YOU Lord.

i live in YOUR sustaining grace and mercy.

God is my strength

2010-01-20T18:35:00.000+08:00

God’s grace is sufficient for me…in times when I put my hands up and say, “I give up, Lord” and think that I am finished here, I realized that it’s actually the time when God starts to take control of my life…”Lord, I give up. I am so weak and vulnerable. Hide me in the shadow of you wings so that no matter how great the storm may be, I am safe and secure under you loving care.”

for CS6 "my journey" by: D

2010-01-12T16:21:00.006+08:00

I have always wanted to become a teacher but it took me a long time to become one. Over the years, I also pondered on my trails; on my journey in life. It wasn't just tough, it was really like journeying through the wilderness. I wasn't that brave I know. I was just so determined. In some part of my life, I would have considered the medicine or any medical courses had it not been for financial constraints. My inclination and interest for medicine was so deep not because I wanted to become famous in this field but it was all because of wanting to treat my dad from his paralysis which caused him physical disability and memory loss. The drive to achieve what I wanted in life was so intense but the force which tried to pull me down was equally strong - even stronger. Honestly, getting into college during those years was like climbing Mt. Everest. I guess everybody would agree with me especially when you only have a mother to take care of her 7 children and an ailing husband. She was a freelance laundry woman and sometimes a vendor of native delicacies which she acquired in consignment basis at the super crowded Carmen Market or in a sidewalk at an elementary school near our house. She had to do a lot of moonlighting to be able to feed all nine mouths at least twice a day.

Growing up in this kind of life had made me question God. Life was not only hard, it was really miserable. Questions kept flying in my head and they were left unanswered for quite sometime, the reason why i didn't get to enjoy my high school life plus the painful fact that I had been cheated by the only person whom I thought have really loved me. I was so filled with remorse and hatred that I found myself so broken and spilled out. I have never been so lost in my life as I had been during those moments. I was groping in the dark trying to get hold of myself. Again, questions were innumerable, my pain so immense and my doubts extremely clouded my soul. My bitterness in life gradually ate me up and I woke up one day severely sick, in fact dying, spiritually. I had to be healed. I succumbed to a challenge that has totally changed my life. It was a decision that turned my life colorful, filled with joy and purpose and above all, love and faith. My direction in life turned so crystal clear. That was when I enrolled in a christian seminary. I have found my trail heading to purposeful direction.

I finished Bachelor in Theology after 4 years from a Biblical Seminary as full academic scholar for the entire college years. During these years, I have involved myself into missions both local and national, worked in a church as an associate minister, youth and music pastor and worked with foreign missionaries, youth and children especially in creative and performing arts. Back then, life was so close to perfect and fulfilling - until I met my second boyfriend, the man with whom I have entrusted my life and love. I got married at the age of 24.

Life has changed. I had to give up my ministry and look for a greener pasture to survive. Then one day, years after, I realized that my passion for the youth, for children, for counseling has not wavered. I decided to take another course and became a teacher. My decision was triggered by an unpleasant circumstance that I have experienced while at work. It brought me down again to my knees and sought for God's divine intervention. I saw His beautiful plans amidst the tragic events in my life. The song "God will make a way" was so real in my life. It says that"God will make a way when there seems to be no way...by the roadway in the wilderness He'll lead me...rivers in the desert will I see..." With 2 kids to raise, a working husband to take care of and a father to attend to, God arranged everything to my advantage. He ordered my steps.

I finished bachelor in Secondary Education with flying colors where I was absorbed as college instructor after my graduation with no hassles of applying for a job at all..I found myself incomparably happy and fulfilled with the profession I chose to tread upon after the vocation I have set aside for quite sometime.

My quest for learning did not stop. I finished M.A. in Education major in English and I kept yearning for more, not for any selfish motives but for some wonderful plans awaiting ahead. I am now into my second masters degree. I am so blessed to have been granted a scholarship under CHED for M.A. in English Language Studies at MSU-IIT which I hope to finish this 1st semester of school year 2011 as I am now on my thesis revision ready for final defense.

We may be trudging on rocky roads and rough hills along life's way; the treks may be so lonely and risky; we may be clouded with trials and obstacles; doors may be closed upon us, but rest assured that God will open the windows for us. God's grace is just sufficient and ever present for those who call on HIM.

To capsulize everything, life is a journey and he who walks with the True Guide in life will be able to find his way no matter how long, no matter how far our journey will be. AND so long as I live; so long as there is God as the center of my life, I shall continue with my journey.

Instruction for CS6
1. post your 1 - paragraph comment about the article. what can you say about the topic? do you want to share something else about life? you have any suggestions or negative comments? write them down below by clicking COMMENT (then write your comment in the comment box)and pls don't forget your name, and click anonymous button before publishing. then lastly, click PUBLISH POST..that's it!
2. in a 1/2 crosswise, write your thesis statement and explain why it is so. submit on Monday, august 22, 2011, class time.
3. see you in the class on Monday, august 22, 2011,

comprehensive exam

2009-11-23T14:07:00.007+08:00

i spent two days at grand city hotel for my review for the comprehensive exam last november 21st, 1 day at nature's pensionne, and a day at elena tower inn in Iligan City...i went to study alone but friends (earl, arnold, rethse and james) came to join me in the evening...my kids stayed with me too..In iligan, i shared the hotel room with ms. eng, and ms. eva...then dr. miso and prof. petz joined us in the group study...sleepless...the following day, we were all so tired and drowsy...LOL...God help us, hope there will be no more retake otherwise it will be a prolonged agony..the first set of exam was really easy but comprehensive...i don't know what it would be like to take an exam under palanca winner professors...the next set is scheduled on saturday so we are again preparing for the group study and hopefully my personal study starts tomorrow...too many readings to make and review on...so groggy until now after that 8-hour exam with only 15 minute break every after category..whew...

Christmas Decoreation

2009-11-15T22:44:00.013+08:00

I only spent about 120 php for each decor but if each of these is going to be sold, the price is surely high..you cannot buy Christmas decors like these in less than 300php.. i am glad i was able to come up with such...actually, some of the materials were bought like the balls and the Christmas flowers but the rest are recycled and were taken from indigenous materials...the brown wooden cone in picture 3 is a fir tree flower which i just picked from Elento's (moonlight park)little baguio last January 2009...i already had this in mind...and finally, 10 months after, i have materialized my plans...i made it!

I am supposed to do a lot of reviewing for my comprehensive exam on Saturday but it seems like things just wouldn't sink in as of now....so i am trying to relax...the "adrenaline rush" is still absent...maybe in a few days it will come when necessity demands...meanwhile, i have been doing Christmas decors lately with jam.. it gave me pleasure and helped me unleash the creative, innovative and resourceful side of me...just take a look at these...these output may look as luxurious and costly as those that are in the malls, but these are all guaranteed less expensive...however, these are not for sale....

time flies so fast?

2009-11-13T21:48:00.006+08:00

9:50 pm

in my room again recounting the day it has been today. There's nothing new so far, nothing exhilarating. today is November 13, 2009. Friday the 13th. 41 days to go before Christmas. OMG, it has already been a year since this blogsite was born. now, another year is about to end and a new year is expected to come. oh! how fast time flies!

early this morning, i heard a commentator over the radio that this year, the spirit of Christmas could not be felt as intensely as it was in the past years. before, as early as the month of September,we would see Christmas lights sparkling glamorously in almost every house. but now, you would only see Christmas decors and lights inside the shopping malls. i just don't exactly know what's up but probably financial crisis could also be one factor. i hope as Filipinos we keep on nurturing the tradition of Christmas.

the true spirit of Christmas is not seen on the sparkling lights nor on the abundance of material things, but it is the condition of the heart; the sincerity and truthfulness of acknowledging that God sent His son to die for humanity.

my kids always love Christmas. yesterday, jam and i did the decoration. we were able to create one for the kids to be brought to school. i love it.

more power..

routine

2009-11-13T09:33:00.010+08:00

9:45 am

sipping my morning coffee in the office
waiting for friends to buzz me up for a chat
listening to students' footsteps passing to and fro
watching the green trees at the park through the office window
facing my ultimate solace and confidante
glancing at my cell phone once in a while
preparing lessons for the next class
browsing my favorite websites
arranging stuffs in my topsy-turvy drawers
reading my favorite book
answering crossword puzzle
anticipating for students to come for consultation
staring blankly at my untouched research paper
feeling bored of these routine
anxious. annoyed. tired. drained.

good night

2009-11-12T22:43:00.005+08:00

it's 10:51 pm and i am in our bedroom facing my favorite partner, my laptop. been chatting with a high school friend who is in NYC now. we talked just like how we used to talk way back many many years. we laughed a lot and recalled friends, faces and fun as well as the foolishness we did. it was really awesome. she's now out to prepare for work while i am left here, alone still facing my silent partner with a smile still painted on my face. how wonderful it is to reminisce the good old days.

sleepy. have to go to bed now so i will see you again tomorrow with a new positive outlook. anticipating fro something beautiful to happen in my life in the nest few days and the days to come.

good night...

au revoir!

great unwind: fun and pleasure with family and friends

2009-11-12T09:02:00.006+08:00

just came from my early morning 7:30 speech class at the nautical department. i am now back to my usual routine after a very wonderful semestral break. i spent quality time with family and friends. we went to beach with pop, kids and siblings. went out boating too...it was really an exhilarating experience, one that i will never forget in my life because i am sure i have made my family happy. i was very happy myself to have spent time with my loved ones which happens very occasionally especially since i went back to school and started teaching. i realized how important it is to give time to our family, make them part of our priorities. i am partly guilty of setting my family aside and became so glued to my work and studies. my very inquisitive boy one time asked me why i don't personally fetch him to school while most of his classmates' moms are there. no matter how much i tried to explain to him my reasons in a very logical way, somehow i felt a twinge of pain inside because i know my son longs for a mother figure who would personally attend to his needs. material things could never suffice the child's longing for a mother to guide him in school. whew, tough role it is...my girl can actually manage herself but i know that she still needs my guidance and time. so i always make it a point that i give her time for girl's talk. i was touched when she wrote in her diary that i am her best friend..true, she tells me everything from her likes, dislikes, disappointments and joy in school down to her petty crushes and those who have crushes on her;

i went to visit mama's grave to with siblings and the entire family on oct 31st. i thought that we need not wait for nov 1 or 2 to go there..we stayed there until midnight..packed lunch and ate there with bessies arnold and rethse...on november 1 they came to the house "morag mga kalag" kalit lang tungha then on nov 2, rethse invited us to come to her house..the rest of the "friendships" were there too...

last nov 7, was arnold's 25th birthday, we went to maramag at cynthia's place..she accommodated us in a lodging house near their glass shop...we went to malinao first, took a bath at the cold spring, went to elento's moonlight park then returned to maramag in teh afternoon..that night we did videoke bar hopping...we also went to waig resort the following day where we all had so much fun...hubby, earl and bb james did zipline, the rest took cable car ride, while i just simply crossed the hanging bridge with eyes closed and hubby holding me tight...SO SCARED!!!LOL...

now, i am in my cubicle thinking hard about so many things...my apprehensions, my desires, my dreams, my pains, gains, my everything...and i just realized , i may not be on top but so far, i have gone a long way and definitely, there's no turning back in my life...got to move on, live my life for my family and DREAM ON...

why am i saying all these? i am so tired kasi and i need to encourage myself that i actually have done something in my life, something worthwhile despite my failures and shortcomings...

Strive and Thrive

2009-11-11T16:28:00.006+08:00

You see, i have really been so totally busy with my MAELS program at MSU-IIT...i never noticed that this is already my second year and my last semester so far, God willing..from the basic to the most complicated subjects, i never missed striving for excellence but sometimes my best wasn't just enough and missing the opportunity to excel sometimes loses the motivation to go on. However, recently, i had the chance to be with myself and evaluate my performance...it may not be the best, but it wasn't bad either...i know i have done something which i have never done before...i have done things beyond my own expectation..i am so grateful to my Heavenly Father who constantly guides me and refreshes my soul with His overflowing love.. I have done my proposal defense last october 5, 2009, stayed in a hotel with hubby and jam a day before the actual defense. last week, have enrolled my last semester at MSU-IIT but definitely not the easiest semester...gracious, thesis writing is so tedious and requires so much time and effort, money, references and inspiration...yesterday, we finished applying for the comprehensive exam which is scheduled on the 21st and 28th of this month...this, i guess, is the most critical part of our MAELS life...LOL..So help me God...we have done series of review with my colleagues and classmates but still the apprehension of failing and retaking the compre keep haunting us...God, you are our LIGHT and WISDOM...enlighten our minds and keep our hearts at peace with you..Dr. Ai broke out the news that we will have a colloquium by January 2010 in the presence of the public (students and panel at msu-iit) for our research presentation, that's basically a month before our final defense...then after final defense, do we expect to graduate?

WAY TO GO!!!!

so the question now is, what comes next after MAELS? Doctorate? still a big question.

My Angel and Friend

2009-11-11T14:58:00.004+08:00

by Smile

I never thought that I would find
a friend so great and a friend so kind
I look up to you in every way
'cause I learn something from you every day.

Without you I don't know where I'd be
but you're still here, friends with me
you deserve so much more than I can give
but without you I wouldn't live.

You've given me more than money can buy
and for you I'd give my all and I would die
This feeling I feel gets stronger every day
hoping not to screw it up, I constantly pray.

I know we have our problems every now and then
but once it's fixed our friendship is better times ten
and I want you to know that I truly do care
even in fights when I say things that aren't fair.

You're an angel from God up above
and I'm thankful for your understanding love
because when you're around everything seems right
and for you, until the end, I will fight.

It doesn't matter what you do or say
because you'll be my friend anyway
I know the real you that's down deep inside
and in you, I'll always confide.

Thanks for being the friend you are
you're my best friend, an angel by far
everything in you is an inspiration to do great
and you'll be loved by all cause that's your fate!

So never stop being the real and wonderful you
cause God shines through in all that you do
and whenever it seems like I'm never there
remember this: I love you and I'll always care!

http://www.netpoets.com/poems/teenfriend/1482001.htm
i just want to share this poem as i was so touched when i read it myself...the poet expressed her gratefulness to a friend she cannot live without, one whom she considers her angel because she found hope in her when she was hopeless. she said, not all angels wear wings nor reside in heaven...I too have found my angel...

epiphany

2009-11-11T14:40:00.005+08:00

My family has taught me great faith in God. I was always told that when i pray, God's angels will always uphold me and take care of me. Which is quite true. I grew up believing that angels are imaginary beings who stay beside us to guide us and protect us, someone we do not see...but an epiphany struck into my senses that aside from the heavenly angels that I was thinking about, our friends, loved ones, and family are the angels we oftentimes ignore. Their guidance, sweet tender loving care and nurturing advices are oftentimes not hearkened because they too are just human who also commit imperfections...but you see, life is not about being perfect, it is about being honest and truthful about our weaknesses and acceptance the fact that we need help.

Dead Star by Paz Marquez Benitez

2009-10-19T11:45:00.004+08:00

What is Love?
Is love a mere fabrication of perfervid imagination, an exaggeration of the common place, a glorification of insipid monotonies? is love a combination of circumstances, or sheer native capacity of soul? Is love a decision or a destiny?

of tears in losing

2009-08-07T13:44:00.003+08:00

8 years ago, honestly, i shed ocean when mama finally left us. the pain was unbearable..but something we managed so hard. it was our downiest moments. most vulnerable moments that even in a minute detail we would burst into tears.

2 days ago, the feeling of loss resurrected inside and saline from the eyes just trickled uncontrollably..it was during the almost - 9 - hour burial march and rites of the late President Aquino was covered on tv the whole day.. the very pampered daughter's tears, ms. Krissy, came flowing like the unstoppable flow of maria Cristina falls.

how can one deny the pain? the deep twinge inside? we may lie to other people but not to ourselves. we can never ignore every bit of pain there is inside our hearts. Kris was true when she apologized to her mother when she admitted that she couldn't not help but cry. President Aquino asked her children not to feel bad and sad but to triumph even when she dies. well, it is quite easy to say but definitely very hard to do...

when mama left, my emotions were really blank. I didn't feel anything. I just felt so empty...i couldn't even remember if i ever cried during her wake. yes, we all cried while she was still in the hospitable. we all cried for healing, for recovery, for miracle but when she was declared departed, i felt the numbness that i have never felt before and the rest that happened was history.

after the burial, i was still silent and i never knew how is started to cope without her. that was the time when i felt her loss; her absence; and it was surely unimaginable. the pain was so deep that i had to lock myself up in my room and scream out loud with the radio on at its loudest.

now, what the Aquino is feeling and what the country mourns for is really very painful and it is always especially true when we know that the one whom we have lost is someone we love so much.

But the great news is that, God is greatest comfort and the source of joy in the midst of all that we are feeling and the loss that we are suffering from. God knows best for us and He has something very special stored for us.

what could possibly be there for the Philippines, our beloved country?

adieu to a legend

2009-08-05T18:00:00.010+08:00

The nation is in grief over its loss of one great person who epitomizes our nation's democracy, motherhood dedication, bravery and love for country. Corazon Aquino being the widow of Benigno Aquino, Jr. despite her silence and calmness, did not fail to respond to the challenge of the Filipino people to fight for democracy and the whole world had witnessed the most peaceful people power revolution in the world. This may indeed be a time of grief but on the contrary, a better time to celebrate her life. Let's celebrate Tita Cory because it was through her that we have been freed from the shackles of a dictator government.

I received a text message today from my professor at MSU-IIT that states, President Corazon "Tita Cory" Cojuanco Aquino is: "The only person in world history who became president by fate and not by ambition. The only speaker who has the longest standing ovation in U.S. Congress. the only woman who led her people to win a revolution with nothing but faith in God. She is the mother of democracy, the light of our nation and her legacy lives forever."

As our respect for the mother of the Modern Philippine Democracy, our hats off to you Madame! You have fought your best fight; you have won the battle. You are a hero...a legend...you and senator Ninoy have made us feel that Filipinos are worth fighting and dying for. Thank you for the life you lived for the Filipino people. Adieu to you but our love for you, for our country and the democracy you have bravely fought for our nation will always be treasured and kept in our hearts forever and shall be transmitted to the next generation and the generations to come...

reconciliation

2009-08-03T13:10:00.004+08:00

after years of silence and barrier in our friendship, i had the best opportunity to clarify things with my special friends...something had caused us apart and thank God that things have been clarified...it's just so sad how this certain situation has pulled us apart. at least now, everything is settled so everybody has a happy heart...

who has a happy heart?

2009-08-03T00:52:00.004+08:00

how can't one be so bubbly when you are with people who have a happy heart. my brows crossed the first time i heard him say these words. no, this isn't new to my ears of course but hearing this from a person who isn't used to be THAT vocal about his 'happy heart' actually made me completely bubbly..i kept laughing the whole night and even the night after our meeting every time i remember how my friend said this line.i knew for sure that it wasn't just a mere cliché but seeing his light and bright countenance, in fact, glowing smiles and sparkling eyes, you could really say, my! my friend is out of this world in loved. i have never seen that expression of sincerity before. hoist, it's not i whom he's in loved with, fyi, and that's for sure, lols...he's in loved with a girl who's almost half his age! great age disparity...but he said she's such a sugar. i love how he metaphorically described the girl and his feelings for this girl.i wondered how he perceives this situation's end would be. will it be as sweet til the end as what it is today or did he ever expect it to end like a bitter gourd? i think he is not thinking. all he is concerned about now is that he is happy and that having a happy heart and being in cloud nine is definitely an incomparable ecstasy in his life ever. i guess, he just wants to savor the taste of temporal happiness...all he care for is the effect of this happiness to him. he said it gives him a youthful disposition, positive and energetic outlook, and a very bright and sunny day despite the dangerous alarms of heavy rains and thunder storms. he is just an ordinary man who has a happy heart being blessed by a sugar who makes his life sweet and feeling younger than before...he is indeed an ordinary person who lives one day at a time who strongly believes that a happy heart will keep you look and feel younger. really? go happy heart!

what's special about friendship?

2009-07-30T13:15:00.010+08:00

They say that friends are reflections of who and what we are that’s why an old adage gives a metaphor about friendships that says “The best mirror is an old friend.” This quote actually is trying to prove the great influence that our friends have on us. Undoubtedly, friends are central to our lives, have special concerns for us, as well as moral concerns that they deal with in their life lessons. Our friends, most often than not, contribute in the carving of the persona in us.

What’s with friendship that we keep on turning back to them? What’s with the memories we have had with our friends that we keep reminiscing about? What’s with our friends that we treasure so much? What’s with our experiences that we value so dearly notwithstanding the pains and hurts, broken hearts and failures? Too often, we remember all the laughter and fun inside and outside the classroom more than those moments of embarrassments when our three-eyed teacher caught us cheating during an ambush quiz, if not, a vigilant maestro caught red-handed the not-so-obvious-naughty guys peeping in the girls’ toilet. These are just few of the many craziness, playoffs and fun that some of us may have experienced during our high school days. They are simply unforgettable. Though, at times we tend to have selective retention, that is, we only choose to remember those beautiful memories and experiences, and remember the wonderful people who have been good to us and deliberately shun away from our memories the lurking images of those classmates and schoolmates who were unpleasant and mean to us…well, for a very good reason, we ought not to forget them. The more we actually deny their existence, the more we admit the impact they have left in us thus admitting as well that they have really been part of our lives and most specifically have become great influence in the molding of ourselves. Partly, we are what we are now because of them. Even if we say we hate them, we should still be thankful for the chance of meeting them and the chance of knowing them because consequently, through them we were able to compare the beauty of friendship and life. Life will never be as beautiful as it is without them. It means we’ve got no choice but to love the unlovable and accept the unacceptable…no matter what we say, they are still our friends in various degrees…

How many times did we create names for our favorite and not-so-favorite teachers? We call them names which they themselves never knew it was them we were referring to. How many times did we make fun of our teacher’s faces and mimic their manner of walking, talking and even their expressions? This may be kinda absurd but it’s true. We secretly laughed when they were furious at us and shook off boisterously when we were reprimanded for a mistake. But don’t these and our friends play a great role in our life?

They’re there to defend us and conceal our foolishness. We go home late at night and tell our parents we were invited by a friend over (katong paborito nga friend sa ginikanan) for a dinner but the truth is, you were out in a drinking spree. Or you connived with him / her to tell your parents that you need money for an important school contribution but which was actually intended for a group outing, a just-plain-bonding with peers (tsk tsk..tsk..dautan! pero tinuod…).Although, afterward, we were always regretful for having done that to our parents especially when we think of being done the same by our children (hahaha, diha na dayon…). Now, we laugh at these foolishness. These are some experiences that one will never regret having gone through because he / she can laugh at it every time he remembers all these…this is, what they say, sometimes you have to be naughty in life so that you have something to laugh about and make you smile when you get older. Pure madness! Well, it’s not just simply about the experience, it’s about the friends who have made those experiences worthwhile and worth remembering. In other words, they spiced it up to make our life scrumptious!

Friendships are a type of interpersonal relationship that is found among a few that we can actually consider as friends. They are central to our lives and are there through thick and thin. Friendship is a springboard to any other loves and any other relationships and having a special kind of friendship is a great way to express one’s admiration for another’s friendship.

Friendship is actually a kind of relationship which allows us to express our skill in picking the right choices in life. It helps and teaches us to find a balance in the relationship of give and take and building trust between the two.

Accordingly, high school life is the best experience one could ever have in life and the best time of gaining the right and genuine friends. They will stick with you through thick and thin. Well, I just have proven that because after what seems like eternity, despite distance and silence, my high school friends are still here, and have not changed at all. Friends are really friends regardless of time and space. They can never be measured on the frequency of togetherness but in the genuineness of the heart.

My Learning Experience

2009-07-21T22:16:00.003+08:00

what is experience?

http://wilderdom.com/experiential/ExperienceWhatIs.html

Experience is an important event in one's life that contributes to man's existence and his being who he is. Through experience, we learn and unlearn things, do and redo, eliminate those that are unpleasant and treasure the wonderful ones. Whatever one's experiences are, it is a very strong factor that either make or unmake him. However, for a very good reason, these experiences happen in one's life and it's all just up to the person how he would respond to these experiences. We can actually make our unpleasant experiences as something that will work for our own good and the pleasant ones a challenge to touch other people’s lives. Oftentimes we ask ourselves what si experience and how significant is it to our existence. The answer is simple.

Experience refers to the nature of the events someone or something has undergone. Experience is what is happening to us all the time - as we long we exist.

Experience, refers to the subjective nature of one's current existence. Humans have a myriad of expressions, behaviors, language, emotions, etc. that characterize and convey our moment-to-moment experiences. These are the here and now.

On the one hand, experience also refers to the accumulated product (or residue) of past events and activities in one’s life like after how many hours, days, weeks, months or years of practice swimming or painting, a skilled swimmer or painter could emerge out from his training and moment of learning the craft.

These two emphases of the word experience (present and past) emerge from a critical connection and philosophical issue: To what extent do one's past experiences influence one's current and future experience?

John Dewey introduced the idea that past experiences influence future experiences which he termed “continuity”. All experiences, cumulative experience either shuts one down or opens up one's access to possible future experiences. Whatever experience in has gone through in life, this little or big experience will actually make a difference in his / her life so long as it is processed because real experience is not only perceived by the naked eyes or sensed by our functional sense organs, it is processed which will eventually lead to learning, that is, it will effect change.

In this article, you are asked to put in your own experience and let us see how it made the person that you are now. In addition, here are some quotes from experts about experience:

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley, Texts & Pretexts: Introduction

We go through life expecting to be tasted while we are being swallowed.
- Elizabeth Bebesco, Haven: 'Aphorisms'

If you want knowledge, you must take part in the practice of changing reality. If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself.
- Mao Zedong, On Practice, July, 1937

Life should serve up its experiences in a series of courses.
- William Golding, Close Quarters, 17

Experience isn't interesting till it begins to repeat itself - in fact, till it does that, it hardly is experience.
- Elizabeth Bowen, The Death of the Heart, Pt 1, Ch 1

To most men, experience is like the stern light of a ship, which illumines only the track it has passed.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Table Talk, p. 434

Not all need experience, but all need the fruit of experience.
- Bishop Mandell Creighton, Life and Letters, Vol. 2

There are two things that experiences teach us: the first is that we should correct heavily; the second, that is should not be too heavily.
- Eugene Delacroix, Journal,8 March, 1860

To a great experience one thing is essential, an experiencing nature.
- Walter Bagehot, Estimates of Some Englishmen and Scotsmen: 'Shakespeare - the Individual'

Experience only serves us to give others useless advice.
- Comtesse Diana, Maxims of Life, p. 75

Experience dulls the edge of all our dogmas.
- Gilbert Murray (attrib.)

MY LEARNING EXPERIENCE

2009-07-14T16:49:00.002+08:00

experience is an important event in one's life that contributes to man's existence and his being who he is. through experience we either learn and unlearn things, do and redo, eliminate or improve those that are unpleasant and treasure those that were beautiful and wonderful. whatever one
's experiences are, it is a very strong factor that either make or unmake him. However, for a very good reason, these experiences happen in one's life and it's all just up to the person he reacts and responds to these experiences. we can actually make unpleasant experiences something that will work for our own good as well the pleasant ones a, challenge to touch other

What is experience?

Experience refers to the nature of the events someone or something has undergone. Experience is what is happening to us all the time - as we long we exist.

Experience, used in the present tense, refers to the subjective nature of one's current existence. Humans have a myriad of expressions, behaviors, language, emotions, etc. that characterize and convey our moment-to-moment experiences.

Experience, used in the past tense, refers to the accumulated product (or residue) of past experiences e.g., after many hours of training and practice building furniture out of wood, we now consider him to be an experienced wood craftsman.

These two emphases of the word experience (present and past) emerge from a critical connection and philosophical issue:

To what extent do one's past experiences influence one's current and future experience?

The idea that past experiences influence future experiences was termed continuity by John Dewey. All experiences, argued Dewey, impact on one's future, for better or worse. Basically, cumulative experience either shuts one down or opens up one's access to possible future experiences.

here's some quotes from experts about experience:

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley, Texts & Pretexts: Introduction

We go through life expecting to be tasted while we are being swallowed.
- Elizabeth Bebesco, Haven: 'Aphorisms'

If you want knowledge, you must take part in the practice of changing reality. If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself.
- Mao Zedong, On Practice, July, 1937

Life should serve up its experiences in a series of courses.
- William Golding, Close Quarters, 17

Experience isn't interesting till it begins to repeat itself - in fact, till it does that, it hardly is experience.
- Elizabeth Bowen, The Death of the Heart, Pt 1, Ch 1

To most men, experience is like the stern light of a ship, which illumines only the track it has passed.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Table Talk, p. 434

Not all need experience, but all need the fruit of experience.
- Bishop Mandell Creighton, Life and Letters, Vol. 2

There are two things that experiences teach us: the first is that we should correct heavily; the second, that is should not be too heavily.
- Eugene Delacroix, Journal,8 March, 1860

To a great experience one thing is essential, an experiencing nature.
- Walter Bagehot, Estimates of Some Englishmen and Scotsmen: 'Shakespeare - the Individual'

Experience only serves us to give others useless advice.
- Comtesse Diana, Maxims of Life, p. 75

Experience dulls the edge of all our dogmas.
- Gilbert Murray (attrib.)

i will be gone for a while...

2009-06-27T09:11:00.007+08:00

hello everyone...it's been quite a while since the last time i wrote in my blogs..certain things just kept me so busy especially my summer classes and now the preparation for my thesis proposal at msu-iit...hurray! i am graduating again soon but i am just keeping my fingers crossed that i would be able to make it...with the teaching load i have, my mother-wife role, my responsibility towards my cousins and nephew who lives with me (as their guardian) is quite a tedious obligation...i have to set aside writing and blogging for awhile...i believe that there will be time for this...i just can't do everything...24 hours isn't enough for all the things that i need to do so i have to set priorities...and no matter ow much i love to write, i know this can wait so this has to wait...got to go...research class has already begun...

my nth birthday on bed...

2009-05-14T18:56:00.005+08:00

my birthday celebration this year is memorable...i had it on bed...why? because of recurring migraine and fever...at least it wasn't that virus that people nowadays are scared of...it was due to lack of sleep and stress...God is just awesome but i couldn't write any further because i am pretty busy with my class this week...got to see you again when i have extra time...

aroma at aruma

2009-04-30T12:59:00.002+08:00

I miss my family! This is my first time to be away from home this long and it’s not easy. I feel so incomplete. I feel like I am a cup of coffee with no sugar and cream. My kids, my sugar, sweeten my life everyday, and my husband, my cream, understands my imperfection. Without them by my side, life is tasteless and if ever there is, it is, so bitter. Being away from home gives me the feeling of nostalgia and the indescribable deep solitude. I really need solace! I know what I actually need in times like these.

When I am tired, or stressed out at work, or missing somebody so bad, coffee works best for me. So I thought of hanging out on a place where I could have a good whiff of coffee. Fortunately, our professor in our writing class suggested that we go to a coffee shop for a writing workshop. How I loved the idea! My heart leaped with joy because I have been dreaming of it. My imagination started to play as i was seeing pure dark cup of coffee giving satisfaction to my senses. Hmmm, there's moist chocolate cake, i couldn't say no to! blueberry cheese cake, so tempting and mouth-watering...and boy, the flourless cake, is a perfect ambrosia!Hey, am I smelling the aroma of brewed coffe, Mocca, Cafe Latte, cappuccino and frapuccino? What else will I get to see, smell and taste in that coffee lounge? I couldn’t wait any more...

They call it Aruma. The place is indeed superbly perfect for me and for anyone who is nostalgic. well, my colleague and i describe it as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! It has a touch of serenity and coolness with its all-white paint. The wall frames are simple and give a youthful glow and spirit. The bulb lights are classy and the room itself has a social touch at the same time, very conducive to clients. The ambiance is perfect for someone like me who is so addicted to coffee and to internet browsing, which is also part of their services. The seats are arranged ideally both for young and old people who have the feel for comfort. The cozy room can accommodate about 30 - 40 people, I think so.

I seated myself along with other 3 colleagues to the farther right side of the coffee shop where I have a good view of the passers by and those who just come inside the shop. I don’t know what’s special about the place, but it is really very comforting. Perhaps, it was the aroma of coffee which is so tempting that makes me really love the place. the place reminds of the first date I had with my husband on our first wedding anniversary at corner cafe, back at Lim Ket Kai Cagayan de Oro. I ordered as usual, our favorite, my husband and mine, brewed coffee and blueberry cheesecake.

I took my first sip of my coffee, with my thoughts wondering back to where my loved ones are. Then I realized how bitter my coffee tastes.. Ah, I was so engrossed with the thoughts of my own home, and the pleasure that Aruma gives me, my home away from home, that I actually forgot to add sugar and cream to my coffee. This has brought me back to reality, coffee without sugar and cream, is really incomplete! Just like me without my family. I miss them so bad. One day more, and I will get to see them again!

2009-04-19T14:38:00.001+08:00

Since I am in full blast with my summer masteral classes at MSU - IIT, Iligan City, I will be temporarily away from blogging. i am still adjusting to my schedule as full-time student...be back soon with so many write - ups i wanted to post. i unluckily ran out of time so hopefully i will be able to post them in-between my skeds. whew! this is terrible but i am sure gonna love this summer 2009...so hot and scorching...can't help but sweat...well gurl here i go, sweat it out! i will be back, promise...

just for fun

2009-04-08T22:26:00.005+08:00

try these fun and interesting questions..thought might help you unwind especially this lent season...so untimely, but at least you have something to do to keep you busy this week...i actually got this from a friend so want to share it with you. First, get a pen and paper and reflect upon your answer before writing them down...

Has anyone told you they would never leave and left?
* hmmm...yes.too bad...
.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
* yes! as in but there's no more chance...
.
What is wrong with you right now?
* i have so many things in mind...as if i want to do everything all at a time...i am such in a hurry...
.
What was the first thing you thought when you woke up today?
* i am so blessed today that i don't have to wake up early and rush to school..it's lent season, no office...yupeeeeeeeee!
.
Have you ever faked sick?
* honestly yes when i was young and i didn't want to go to school...
.
Who was the last person of the same sex you had a conversation with?
* bestfriends annie and pinky...we had a conference online...
.
Who is the longest crush you have had?
* orly.
.
What will you be doing tomorrow?
* Read. write. get online and blog around.text.chat with sisters and friends.sleep...
.
Bet you're missing someone now?
* yes...grabe...
.
Do you get along with girls?
* very much...

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
* from my closet.(lols)
.
Are your nails painted?
* exactly. it's a metallic purple paint.
.
Ever had someone you like tell you they never want to see or talk to you?
* not exactly someone i like, but it's more of someone i used to get along well then all of a sudden, broke off with our friendship just because the person doesn't like to talk to me anymore
.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
* nope...most of them were younger than, if not just about my age
.
Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
* yes. i always treasure them
.
Can you whistle?
* a big NO.
.
Do you have a best friend?
* Pinkoy. Nikoy. Tere. Apoy.
.
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
* myself (lols) and elkenth (my baby nephew)
.
Can you skateboard?
* gracious, no!
.
Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
* of course.
.
Does it take a lot to make you cry?
* just talk about motherhood...
.
Does it annoy you when someone says they’ll call/text, but never do?
* a bit.it depends also on the importance of the person telling that
.
Have you ever hated someone but then ended up liking them?
* yes. crazy no? pero most of the time, oo.

Do you miss your past?
* in some ways yes. the past has done so much for me...
.
Are you happy with the way things are going?
* very, very very!
.
In the past week have you cried?
* last week, my 89 year old granny was so sick...
.
Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
* none of the above. i just want to delay this week because moving on would mean start of the class which i haven't recovered much yet...and if i go back it would also mean experiencing the same hardship and difficulty with my final paper...static cguro..
.
Last December how was your heart?
* beating!
.
When was the last time you went camping?
* did i ever have one? hehhe i guess 1995 pa...youth camp...
.
What was the last thing you purchased?
* dvd tapes.battery for digicam. an outfit and pair of shoes for my speaking engagements.
.
What are you wearing on your feet?
* nothing. just the purple paint. how can i wear anything, i am on my bed...
.
Any fun plans for today?
* eat super choco strawberry cake baked and given by colleague and friend maam rizz; watch movies; stay on my bed all day...
.
Will this weekend be a good one?
* it should be.
.
Is anyone interested in you right now?
* yes oi.kuno.
.
Rent a movie or go to movies?
* none, buy tapes and watch it at home.
.
What's your hair look like today?
* very long. slash v shaped haircut, a little blond. chic. it's disheveled. didn't comb it the whole day. hahahha
.
Are you a jealous person?
* to the highest level.

Life is precarious

2009-04-04T23:31:00.004+08:00

Life is precarious. It is indeed changing. Well, an old adage says, “change is the only constant thing in this world”, everything else is changing. From his perception down to his beliefs, outlooks and emotions, man is changing. Well they say that there is no other way but up and once you are up there, you go can’t go higher than up because it’s the ultimate destination. And while we are still battling with .life, with everyday challenges, and circumstances, we can’t do away with the fickleness of our hearts and mind. We can’t deny the issue on decision making, on weighing things out, on picking the right choices. Whatever. We tend to sway, and drift away from our stand because foremost the human heart is above all deceitful. We are supposed to guard our hearts in everything that we do.

I have a very relevant experience to life’s precariousness. I know there have been choices and decisions in my life which have total effects to the person that I am now today. And I am aware that there is SOMEONE greater than I am who is in control of all these happenings. But I wonder why, despite HIS being there with us all the time, man fails? Human err? People commit mistakes? Why can’t we just be perfect? No matter how hard we try, we can’t just be perfect!

I figure out there can be no other way to make things perfect for us but to LET GO and LET GOD. I could never forget how my life used to be. I was such a happy, carefree, laughing girl but inside I was grieving, searching and empty. When I started going with friends, I saw the difference in life. I saw how people should be treated. Fair enough if you got the money and the looks but sorry if you have nothing to show off for rejection would be your best friend. I felt that. I grew up trying to make myself loved and accepted but I always found myself sulking in my pillow, soaking it with tears, demanding for an answer to every question. Until I fell in love, got hurt and fell out of love. I trusted no one and not even myself. Then I got myself hooked into believing that there is really no hope for me. One day, I chose the road less travelled. I went to a Christian seminary, where I found myself. The many questions were answered and wrong beliefs were corrected. Yet somehow, I was still seeing some loopholes and I couldn’t seem to understand the purpose of my being. Life was so perfectly imperfect.

However, it was in that imperfection that I have learned to come and understand that God allowed these imperfections for me to need Him. He wanted to make me feel the emptiness so I would let HIM fill in the void inside; he let me see my weaknesses for me to need His strength.

I was lost. And He found me. I drifted but he kept holding me. I ran away like a prodigal daughter but he brought me home again. Again and again, I stumble and fall but he is always my Savior. So, no matter how precarious life could get with me, I know that God’s steadfast love is more than able to keep me holding still to His saving grace and love.

My education, my contribution to my future

2009-03-27T12:52:00.010+08:00

I am once again invited as guest speaker on a high school commencement exercises. i couldn't say no because foremost, this school used to be my own and i treasure every single memory i have in this institution. anyway, this is my second time to have accepted their invitation and every invitation is always like the first time...the tension, the preparation, the excitement and apprehensions...all are there in a package...i actually have two speaking engagements this march 2009. One will be held on March 29, 2009 at Stella Mariz Learning Center and the other, on March 30, 2009 in Malinao National High School on its 36th commencement exercises. The sked is quite so tight that i have to rush home right after SMLC so i will have the evening trip going to Bukidnon. It's going to be, more or less, a 5-hour trip via bus but since i am traveling in the evening, i have to sleep over at Valencia City and take the first trip to Kalilangan the following day. Hmmm, sounds exciting and i guess i am going to lovit. i am pretty much inclined to experiences like these and i am sure i will enjoy the trip and savor the fun!

well, here is a glimpse of what i call my "partial" speech.

This year’s theme says: my education, my contribution to my future”, is a universal truth. It is not only true today, or yesterday, but it has always been true since time immemorial. Regardless of space and distance, this is always true, anywhere else in the world. My point is that, education plays a very crucial and significant role in the molding of the future generation.

We would never have known Jose Rizal and other national heroes, had it not been for education. We would never have tall buildings, wide bridges, huge malls and amusements parks had it not been for education as these are designed by well-trained architects, and built by schooled engineers. Nobody could have seen the moon and its craters, explained the complexity of the solar system, discovered some mysteries of the universe had it not been for education…

Take note of our earliest inventors who have made a difference in our lives. The American inventor Thomas Edison changed the way people live when he invented the first practical light bulb wherein people in the 18th century used candles and oil or gas lamps for light. Thanks to Alexander Graham Bell who, at age 18 had developed the basic ideas of the telephone in the year 1876, with that, communication has become easier. Who invented airplanes? Ships? Who discovered that the world is round and not square? Was it not Christopher Columbus? All these have become possible because of education. They did their best in maximizing and furthering their knowledge. We would never have computers, no cell phones, no ipods, no cars and other luxuries that technology has given us, had it not been for education. Basically, these are all products of education.

We would never have known the genius Einstein, benefited from the theory of the mathematician Pythagoras, learned from different schools of thoughts from the famous Philosophers Heraclitus, Socrates, Plato and Aristotle, or Confucius, had it not been for education. We will never have doctors to diagnose our illnesses, dentist for our dental care, lawyers to defend us and fight for our rights; we would never have pilots to fly planes and captains to maneuver ships, had it not been for education. We would never have passionate mentors to teach us how to read and recite our ABC’s. These and all other professions and vocations are brought about by education. We would never have books to read and learn thongs from had it not been for education. What is education then?

The school is just one aspect of education – we have a bigger school out there where the teachers are not the same with the teachers we are facing each day in school. The teachers back then are our own experiences…and how do we go about the process of breaking through these learning is what we call education… There are other ways wherein we can enhance and enrich ourselves to the person we can be best at...

Education is a continuous process of learning. It is not bound or limited to a certain stage or level of educational attainment…human as we are, we always seek for something better and that act is called education…when we continually seek for what is good, what is remarkable, what is advantageous, that is education. And while we do nothing, but wait for something good to happen is fatalistic. And it is contrary to education…it is ignorance. God has opened our eyes to see what is there to see and give us wisdom on what to do with what we are seeing…we just don't look into things, we have to use them…we should maximize them not only for our advantage but for others and of the greater glory of God.

the real essence of education is that something which is not bound to anything…no level of educational attainment can ever exactly define what education is because it is relative, when we say relative, it is not permanently fixed, but having a meaning or value that can only be established in relation to something else and will change according to circumstances or context thus, education largely depends on our experience. That’s why we vary. We differ in perspective and outlook. We differ in understanding because education is relative. It goes with the person’s experience, Level of understanding and his abilities.

Children are naturally curious and tend to be very inquisitive thus parents and teachers should not deprive them of the answers to every question they raise. Don’t ever stop them from asking questions because if we do so, it is equivalent to depriving the, of education. Remember there are lessons that are learned by asking, learned from home, church, friends and in school ,and lessons learned from anywhere. So let them ask to learn. According to Peter Usnov, “After all, what is education but a process by which a person begins to learn how to learn?”

It is our every obligation, teachers and parents and the entire community to work hand in hand in building a better and wholesome education to our children because it is then in this way that we can achieve the goal of quality education; the goal of reaching our destiny to excellence and reaping the fruit of our labor, our learned products. these students will be our future engineers, future scientists, defenders, government officials, teachers, entrepreneurs, computer programmers and analysts, bankers, managers, surgeon and dentist, nurses and writers…when we have done our best share in molding our youth, and the younger generation then we won’t be ashamed to ask the question to our children, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Remember that whoever and whatever they will become in the future is their own contribution to their future, to their country and to their generation and the generations to come.

(note: photos were taken during the actual commencement ceremony and posted after the event.)

CN144 students post your comments here...

2009-03-07T20:08:00.003+08:00

Life: a matter of chance or choice?

Please read the essay below and post your comments here after reading...

affably,
prof. D

CT2 students post your comments here...

2009-03-07T20:04:00.004+08:00

Life: a matter of chance or choice?

read the essay below before posting your comments here...

affably,
prof. D

Life: a matter of chance or choice?

2009-03-05T01:03:00.009+08:00

Is life a matter of choice or chance? Is it a decision or destiny? All at once, we know just what to answer. And we are too good at justifying things. We give our reasons but which reasons are sometimes not reasonable enough. Or maybe sometimes, we give reasons which “reasons” itself does not know. We answer hypothetically, mathematically, theoretically, biblically and sometimes even ridiculously! We know, deep in our hearts the real answer to this question. However we allow ourselves to be influenced by our thoughts, our experiences, our beliefs and our ideals!
Observe how one of my students, a mechanical engineering student named Harold Rotor, answered this question in an essay i asked them to submit in my reading class. He wrote and I quote:

“Life is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice. It is the effect of what we did in the past. Destiny maybe compared to the algebraic equation Y=CX. Destiny is not constant (C). It is the Y or the independent variable. Y depends on the X, where X is the input. When X is small, the Y will also give a small value and when the X is big then Y will also give a big value.
The value of Y may also be positive or negative. When x is negative the Y will also turn out to be negative and when the X is positive the Y will also turn out to be positive. The principle is the same with destiny. The result maybe big or less, good or bad depending on our input. It may always necessarily be instant but surely it will happen as it should be.
Life on the other hand is a condition or course of living. Our existence in this world is life itself. A person is said to have a life when he/she still has the capacity to breathe.”

Mr. Rotor asserts that life and destiny are interrelated. Destiny is how we live our life. His life and destiny lies entirely on him. He believes that there is a God who has the authority in every individual, as well as believes that God gave us the freewill. He gave us the mind to decide on our own. God’s authority is like the traffic enforcer. He gives us the right way and the right timing but it depends on us whether we follow directions or not. But most often than not, human as we are, we tend to disobey traffic rules and so as disobey God. But then again HE is still there to watch over us. HE may sometimes use methods that we think are incomprehensible to human thoughts but surely God does not do anything that would totally harm us. HE always has the purpose for everything. We just have to follow the right direction, that is, wait for the right time and the right way to go.

Here's what I got from this site on what destiny is all about: http://www.akgupta.com/Thoughts/destiny.htm

"One of the greatest and everlasting debates of humanity has been about the role of destiny in the lives of human beings. There was a time when it was almost an accepted fact of life that each and every event was governed by destiny of human beings. Astrology was considered a science. Then with the advent of modern times the importance of role of destiny as a concept started losing weight. Today, belief in destiny is considered a superstition by majority of people. And rightly so, since there seems to be no evidence for the irrevocability of destiny.

There are three schools of thoughts about fate. The most prevalent these days seems to be the one which says that there is nothing called destiny or fate. This line of thinking says that human beings do possess free will. All our successes, failures and actions are governed by the decisions we take. If we take correct decisions and act accordingly, no one can prevent us from achieving what we want to. If we fail, it must be due to something wrong on our part. We have the option to take decisions using our free will. In this line of thinking, fate is considered a superstition at worst and at best one can regard it as a psychological defense system to cope with the failures in life. Whenever you fail in some endeavor or whenever something happens which is not in accordance of your wish, you use it as a convenient scapegoat. You say, it was your bad luck which caused you to fail. Otherwise, how could you fail? You are never ready to accept that it was you who was responsible for the failure. It may have been due to some bad planning, lack of efforts in the right direction or outright failure to correctly judge the realities of your goal. But since it hurts to accept that you were the one who committed the mistake, you take shelter behind the concept of fate and blame it on your karma. This relieves you of the terrible pain of knowing and accepting the defeat."

Well, what then is life to you? A choice? a chance? a destiny? fate? Whatever your answer to that question is, let us reflect to the ultimate truth, the Bible, which provides a wonderful promise and assurance about God's beautiful purpose and plans for our life. His plans are great. He plans a good future ahead of us... He tells us that our existence has a purpose but it's all up to us how to make this purpose in us be realized. His Word says, (in GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)"I know the plans that I have for you," declares the LORD. "They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope."

Then, Let's choose to hope in HIM, for nothing compares to a future filled with hope. It is said that "Life with Christ is an endless hope, without HIM , a hopeless end..."(anonymous)

May Day Eve

2009-02-26T08:41:00.001+08:00

By Nick Joaquin

The old people had ordered that the dancing should stop at ten o’clock but it was almost midnight before the carriages came filing up the departing guests, while the girls who were staying were promptly herded upstairs to the bedrooms, the young men gathering around to wish them a good night and lamenting their ascent with mock signs and moaning, proclaiming themselves disconsolate but straightway going off to finish the punch and the brandy though they were quite drunk already and simply bursting with wild spirits, merriment, arrogance and audacity, for they were young bucks newly arrived from Europe; the ball had been in their honor; and they had waltzed and polka-ed and bragged and swaggered and flirted all night and where in no mood to sleep yet--no, caramba, not on this moist tropic eve! not on this mystic May eve! --with the night still young and so seductive that it was madness not to go out, not to go forth---and serenade the neighbors! cried one; and swim in the Pasid! cried another; and gather fireflies! cried a third—whereupon there arose a great clamor for coats and capes, for hats and canes, and they were a couple of street-lamps flickered and a last carriage rattled away upon the cobbles while the blind black houses muttered hush-hush, their tile roofs looming like sinister chessboards against a wile sky murky with clouds, save where an evil young moon prowled about in a corner or where a murderous wind whirled, whistling and whining, smelling now of the sea and now of the summer orchards and wafting unbearable childhood fragrances or ripe guavas to the young men trooping so uproariously down the street that the girls who were desiring upstairs in the bedrooms catered screaming to the windows, crowded giggling at the windows, but were soon sighing amorously over those young men bawling below; over those wicked young men and their handsome apparel, their proud flashing eyes, and their elegant mustaches so black and vivid in the moonlight that the girls were quite ravished with love, and began crying to one another how carefree were men but how awful to be a girl and what a horrid, horrid world it was, till old Anastasia plucked them off by the ear or the pigtail and chases them off to bed---while from up the street came the clackety-clack of the watchman’s boots on the cobble and the clang-clang of his lantern against his knee, and the mighty roll of his great voice booming through the night, "Guardia serno-o-o! A las doce han dado-o-o.
And it was May again, said the old Anastasia. It was the first day of May and witches were abroad in the night, she said--for it was a night of divination, and night of lovers, and those who cared might peer into a mirror and would there behold the face of whoever it was they were fated to marry, said the old Anastasia as she hobble about picking up the piled crinolines and folding up shawls and raking slippers in corner while the girls climbing into four great poster-beds that overwhelmed the room began shrieking with terror, scrambling over each other and imploring the old woman not to frighten them.
"Enough, enough, Anastasia! We want to sleep!"
"Go scare the boys instead, you old witch!"
"She is not a witch, she is a maga. She is a maga. She was born of Christmas Eve!"
"St. Anastasia, virgin and martyr."
"Huh? Impossible! She has conquered seven husbands! Are you a virgin, Anastasia?"
"No, but I am seven times a martyr because of you girls!"
"Let her prophesy, let her prophesy! Whom will I marry, old gypsy? Come, tell me."
"You may learn in a mirror if you are not afraid."
"I am not afraid, I will go," cried the young cousin Agueda, jumping up in bed.
"Girls, girls---we are making too much noise! My mother will hear and will come and pinch us all. Agueda, lie down! And you Anastasia, I command you to shut your mouth and go away!""Your mother told me to stay here all night, my grand lady!"
"And I will not lie down!" cried the rebellious Agueda, leaping to the floor. "Stay, old woman. Tell me what I have to do."
"Tell her! Tell her!" chimed the other girls.
The old woman dropped the clothes she had gathered and approached and fixed her eyes on the girl. "You must take a candle," she instructed, "and go into a room that is dark and that has a mirror in it and you must be alone in the room. Go up to the mirror and close your eyes and shy:
Mirror, mirror, show to me him whose woman I will be. If all goes right, just above your left shoulder will appear the face of the man you will marry." A silence. Then: "And hat if all does not go right?" asked Agueda. "Ah, then the Lord have mercy on you!" "Why." "Because you may see--the Devil!"
The girls screamed and clutched one another, shivering. "But what nonsense!" cried Agueda. "This is the year 1847. There are no devil anymore!" Nevertheless she had turned pale. "But where could I go, hugh? Yes, I know! Down to the sala. It has that big mirror and no one is there now." "No, Agueda, no! It is a mortal sin! You will see the devil!" "I do not care! I am not afraid! I will go!" "Oh, you wicked girl! Oh, you mad girl!" "If you do not come to bed, Agueda, I will call my mother." "And if you do I will tell her who came to visit you at the convent last March. Come, old woman---give me that candle. I go." "Oh girls---give me that candle, I go."
But Agueda had already slipped outside; was already tiptoeing across the hall; her feet bare and her dark hair falling down her shoulders and streaming in the wind as she fled down the stairs, the lighted candle sputtering in one hand while with the other she pulled up her white gown from her ankles. She paused breathless in the doorway to the sala and her heart failed her. She tried to imagine the room filled again with lights, laughter, whirling couples, and the jolly jerky music of the fiddlers. But, oh, it was a dark den, a weird cavern for the windows had been closed and the furniture stacked up against the walls. She crossed herself and stepped inside.
The mirror hung on the wall before her; a big antique mirror with a gold frame carved into leaves and flowers and mysterious curlicues. She saw herself approaching fearfully in it: a small while ghost that the darkness bodied forth---but not willingly, not completely, for her eyes and hair were so dark that the face approaching in the mirror seemed only a mask that floated forward; a bright mask with two holes gaping in it, blown forward by the white cloud of her gown. But when she stood before the mirror she lifted the candle level with her chin and the dead mask bloomed into her living face.
She closed her eyes and whispered the incantation. When she had finished such a terror took hold of her that she felt unable to move, unable to open her eyes and thought she would stand there forever, enchanted. But she heard a step behind her, and a smothered giggle, and instantly opened her eyes.
"And what did you see, Mama? Oh, what was it?" But Dona Agueda had forgotten the little girl on her lap: she was staring pass the curly head nestling at her breast and seeing herself in the big mirror hanging in the room. It was the same room and the same mirror out the face she now saw in it was an old face---a hard, bitter, vengeful face, framed in graying hair, and so sadly altered, so sadly different from that other face like a white mask, that fresh young face like a pure mask than she had brought before this mirror one wild May Day midnight years and years ago.... "But what was it Mama? Oh please go on! What did you see?" Dona Agueda looked down at her daughter but her face did not soften though her eyes filled with tears. "I saw the devil." she said bitterly. The child blanched. "The devil, Mama? Oh... Oh..." "Yes, my love. I opened my eyes and there in the mirror, smiling at me over my left shoulder, was the face of the devil." "Oh, my poor little Mama! And were you very frightened?" "You can imagine. And that is why good little girls do not look into mirrors except when their mothers tell them. You must stop this naughty habit, darling, of admiring yourself in every mirror you pass- or you may see something frightful some day." "But the devil, Mama---what did he look like?" "Well, let me see... he has curly hair and a scar on his cheek---" "Like the scar of Papa?" "Well, yes. But this of the devil was a scar of sin, while that of your Papa is a scar of honor. Or so he says." "Go on about the devil." "Well, he had mustaches." "Like those of Papa?" "Oh, no. Those of your Papa are dirty and graying and smell horribly of tobacco, while these of the devil were very black and elegant--oh, how elegant!" "And did he speak to you, Mama?" "Yes… Yes, he spoke to me," said Dona Agueda. And bowing her graying head; she wept.
"Charms like yours have no need for a candle, fair one," he had said, smiling at her in the mirror and stepping back to give her a low mocking bow. She had whirled around and glared at him and he had burst into laughter. "But I remember you!" he cried. "You are Agueda, whom I left a mere infant and came home to find a tremendous beauty, and I danced a waltz with you but you would not give me the polka." "Let me pass," she muttered fiercely, for he was barring the way. "But I want to dance the polka with you, fair one," he said. So they stood before the mirror; their panting breath the only sound in the dark room; the candle shining between them and flinging their shadows to the wall. And young Badoy Montiya (who had crept home very drunk to pass out quietly in bed) suddenly found himself cold sober and very much awake and ready for anything. His eyes sparkled and the scar on his face gleamed scarlet. "Let me pass!" she cried again, in a voice of fury, but he grasped her by the wrist. "No," he smiled. "Not until we have danced." "Go to the devil!" "What a temper has my serrana!" "I am not your serrana!" "Whose, then? Someone I know? Someone I have offended grievously? Because you treat me, you treat all my friends like your mortal enemies." "And why not?" she demanded, jerking her wrist away and flashing her teeth in his face. "Oh, how I detest you, you pompous young men! You go to Europe and you come back elegant lords and we poor girls are too tame to please you. We have no grace like the Parisiennes, we have no fire like the Sevillians, and we have no salt, no salt, no salt! Aie, how you weary me, how you bore me, you fastidious men!" "Come, come---how do you know about us?"
"I was not admiring myself, sir!" "You were admiring the moon perhaps?" "Oh!" she gasped, and burst into tears. The candle dropped from her hand and she covered her face and sobbed piteously. The candle had gone out and they stood in darkness, and young Badoy was conscience-stricken. "Oh, do not cry, little one!" Oh, please forgive me! Please do not cry! But what a brute I am! I was drunk, little one, I was drunk and knew not what I said." He groped and found her hand and touched it to his lips. She shuddered in her white gown. "Let me go," she moaned, and tugged feebly. "No. Say you forgive me first. Say you forgive me, Agueda." But instead she pulled his hand to her mouth and bit it - bit so sharply in the knuckles that he cried with pain and lashed cut with his other hand--lashed out and hit the air, for she was gone, she had fled, and he heard the rustling of her skirts up the stairs as he furiously sucked his bleeding fingers. Cruel thoughts raced through his head: he would go and tell his mother and make her turn the savage girl out of the house--or he would go himself to the girl’s room and drag her out of bed and slap, slap, slap her silly face! But at the same time he was thinking that they were all going to Antipolo in the morning and was already planning how he would maneuver himself into the same boat with her. Oh, he would have his revenge, he would make her pay, that little harlot! She should suffer for this, he thought greedily, licking his bleeding knuckles. But---Judas! He remembered her bare shoulders: gold in her candlelight and delicately furred. He saw the mobile insolence of her neck, and her taut breasts steady in the fluid gown. Son of a Turk, but she was quite enchanting! How could she think she had no fire or grace? And no salt? An arroba she had of it!
"... No lack of salt in the chrism At the moment of thy baptism!" He sang aloud in the dark room and suddenly realized that he had fallen madly in love with her. He ached intensely to see her again---at once! ---to touch her hands and her hair; to hear her harsh voice. He ran to the window and flung open the casements and the beauty of the night struck him back like a blow. It was May, it was summer, and he was young---young! ---and deliriously in love. Such a happiness welled up within him that the tears spurted from his eyes. But he did not forgive her--no! He would still make her pay, he would still have his revenge, he thought viciously, and kissed his wounded fingers. But what a night it had been! "I will never forge this night! he thought aloud in an awed voice, standing by the window in the dark room, the tears in his eyes and the wind in his hair and his bleeding knuckles pressed to his mouth.
But, alas, the heart forgets; the heart is distracted; and May time passes; summer lends; the storms break over the rot-tipe orchards and the heart grows old; while the hours, the days, the months, and the years pile up and pile up, till the mind becomes too crowded, too confused: dust gathers in it; cobwebs multiply; the walls darken and fall into ruin and decay; the memory perished...and there came a time when Don Badoy Montiya walked home through a May Day midnight without remembering, without even caring to remember; being merely concerned in feeling his way across the street with his cane; his eyes having grown quite dim and his legs uncertain--for he was old; he was over sixty; he was a very stopped and shivered old man with white hair and mustaches coming home from a secret meeting of conspirators; his mind still resounding with the speeches and his patriot heart still exultant as he picked his way up the steps to the front door and inside into the slumbering darkness of the house; wholly unconscious of the May night, till on his way down the hall, chancing to glance into the sala, he shuddered, he stopped, his blood ran cold-- for he had seen a face in the mirror there---a ghostly candlelight face with the eyes closed and the lips moving, a face that he suddenly felt he had been there before though it was a full minutes before the lost memory came flowing, came tiding back, so overflooding the actual moment and so swiftly washing away the piled hours and days and months and years that he was left suddenly young again; he was a gay young buck again, lately came from Europe; he had been dancing all night; he was very drunk; he s stepped in the doorway; he saw a face in the dark; he called out...and the lad standing before the mirror (for it was a lad in a night go jumped with fright and almost dropped his candle, but looking around and seeing the old man, laughed out with relief and came running.
"Oh Grandpa, how you frightened me. Don Badoy had turned very pale. "So it was you, you young bandit! And what is all this, hey? What are you doing down here at this hour?" "Nothing, Grandpa. I was only... I am only ..." "Yes, you are the great Señor only and how delighted I am to make your acquaintance, Señor Only! But if I break this cane on your head you maga wish you were someone else, Sir!" "It was just foolishness, Grandpa. They told me I would see my wife."
"Wife? What wife?" "Mine. The boys at school said I would see her if I looked in a mirror tonight and said: Mirror, mirror show to me her whose lover I will be.
Don Badoy cackled ruefully. He took the boy by the hair, pulled him along into the room, sat down on a chair, and drew the boy between his knees. "Now, put your cane down the floor, son, and let us talk this over. So you want your wife already, hey? You want to see her in advance, hey? But so you know that these are wicked games and that wicked boys who play them are in danger of seeing horrors?"
"Well, the boys did warn me I might see a witch instead."
"Exactly! A witch so horrible you may die of fright. And she will be witch you, she will torture you, she will eat
your heart and drink your blood!"
"Oh, come now Grandpa. This is 1890. There are no witches anymore."
"Oh-ho, my young Voltaire! And what if I tell you that I myself have seen a witch.
"You? Where?
"Right in this room land right in that mirror," said the old man, and his playful voice had turned savage.
"When, Grandpa?"
"Not so long ago. When I was a bit older than you. Oh, I was a vain fellow and though I was feeling very sick that night and merely wanted to lie down somewhere and die I could not pass that doorway of course without stopping to see in the mirror what I looked like when dying. But when I poked my head in what should I see in the mirror but...but..."
"The witch?"
"Exactly!"
"And then she bewitch you, Grandpa!"
"She bewitched me and she tortured me. l She ate my heart and drank my blood." said the old man bitterly.
"Oh, my poor little Grandpa! Why have you never told me! And she very horrible?
"Horrible? God, no--- she was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen! Her eyes were somewhat like yours but her hair was like black waters and her golden shoulders were bare. My God, she was enchanting! But I should have known---I should have known even then---the dark and fatal creature she was!"
A silence. Then: "What a horrid mirror this is, Grandpa," whispered the boy.
"What makes you slay that, hey?"
"Well, you saw this witch in it. And Mama once told me that Grandma once told her that Grandma once saw the devil in this mirror. Was it of the scare that Grandma died?"
Don Badoy started. For a moment he had forgotten that she was dead, that she had perished---the poor Agueda; that they were at peace at last, the two of them, her tired body at rest; her broken body set free at last from the brutal pranks of the earth---from the trap of a May night; from the snare of summer; from the terrible silver nets of the moon. She had been a mere heap of white hair and bones in the end: a whimpering withered consumptive, lashing out with her cruel tongue; her eye like live coals; her face like ashes... Now, nothing--- nothing save a name on a stone; save a stone in a graveyard---nothing! was left of the young girl who had flamed so vividly in a mirror one wild May Day midnight, long, long ago.
And remembering how she had sobbed so piteously; remembering how she had bitten his hand and fled and how he had sung aloud in the dark room and surprised his heart in the instant of falling in love: such a grief tore up his throat and eyes that he felt ashamed before the boy; pushed the boy away; stood up and looked out----looked out upon the medieval shadows of the foul street where a couple of street-lamps flickered and a last carriage was rattling away upon the cobbles, while the blind black houses muttered hush-hush, their tiled roofs looming like sinister chessboards against a wild sky murky with clouds, save where an evil old moon prowled about in a corner or where a murderous wind whirled, whistling and whining, smelling now of the sea and now of the summer orchards and wafting unbearable the window; the bowed old man sobbing so bitterly at the window; the tears streaming down his cheeks and the wind in his hair and one hand pressed to his mouth---while from up the street came the clackety-clack of the watchman’s boots on the cobbles, and the clang-clang of his lantern against his knee, and the mighty roll of his voice booming through the night:
"Guardia sereno-o-o! A las doce han dado-o-o!"

Instruction: Provide with necessary details the following elements of the story.

1. main characters - identify the protagonist and antagonist
2. setting (place, time, milieu, social condition)
3. exposition (introduction)
4. conflict (problem)identify what kind of problem ( external or internal; man vs man, man vs. society & etc.)
5. climax (turning point)
6. falling action (resolution)
7. denouement (conclusion)
8. point of view (identify whether first person, 3rd person point of view, omniscient, limited, innocent eye & etc)
9. theme
10. Give a new title of the story - explain why that title?

Handwritten: Write in 1 half crosswise yellow paper. the shorter your sentences and paragraphs are, the better.

emancipation

2009-02-10T22:19:00.002+08:00

The swathed emotion peeked out
Like a naive chrysalis wanting to break free
But suppressed by the pressures around it
It lingered in its cocoon for quite sometime
Sheathed…shackled…strangled…

The quiescent force lurking within
Has found its way to survive
No matter how stifled and forlorn the soul may be
Its wilting limbs ready to spread its wings
To flutter, to fly…to set itself free…

drawing back the curtains of yesterdays

2009-02-10T01:06:00.004+08:00

I don’t know how to start sharing my story but let me do it in my own simple way. From the very start God has placed this unexplainable inspiration in our hearts. He has inspired us with one loving and God-fearing mother and a hardworking and very supportive father.

I was born to a very God-fearing mother in 1973. I had 5 other older siblings and one younger sister. My parents were farmers and we lived in the farm somewhere in a remote barangay in Bukidnon where we owned a small farm lot. According to my older sisters and brother, life was so simple way back then. We were raised the Christian way and were even named after Biblical names and religious characters (Emmanuel, Loida, Leah, Naomi, Meriam, Dorcas {that’s me}, and Joan {Joan of arc}). Mother nurtured us in God’s words. My father was a sympathizer then. I could just say how blessed we are to have a mother who had the heart for God and His word. She was really a woman of God.

One fateful day came in our life unexpectedly. Our father who was only 37 years old had a stroke attack due to hypertension and was confined at the hospital. I was just barely 4 years old that time so I couldn’t exactly remember what happened. The next thing I knew we were already moving from our old house in Bukidnon to Cagayan de Oro City. Accordingly, the doctor said my father’s condition was a helpless case. We were just throwing our money. Back then, our little assets in the farm were sold and leased. There was nothing left for us but the family (siblings and our mother) holding on to our faith that God will make a miracle and heal our father. Father was totally bedridden. He was fed through a feeding tube and discharged his fluid and waste through a catheter. His eyes were all white and mouth was tightly closed. He looked limp and lifeless. Because of financial problem and the doctors’ statement regarding my father’s condition, we discharged him from the hospital and brought him to the city where we built a small hut at the cliff side of a mango plantation in the outskirts of the city. We had to pay the monthly lot rental. Since the oldest was only 15 that time and my other siblings were 13, 11, 8, 6, and youngest was 1 year old and 8 months (I was 4 then), my sisters did not know what to do with our life. But they helped mother the best way they could in earning money for our daily sustenance. Mother went to do laundry, sell peanuts, vegetables, balut and penoy, and other pinoy specialty (puto, kutsinta, suman etc) which she had only as consignment. My sisters would take turn in attending to our father while the rest would help mother do the laundry and ironing or vending.

We went to a born again Christian church (Pentecostal Church of God) whose members were so accommodating and loving. They took care of us and helped us in many ways as well as prayed for and with us. Mother was a faithful servant of God, prayerful, soul-winner and an active deacon in the church. She did not make poverty as an excuse for her going or not going to church. Her love and faith for God was extraordinary. As a young girl and who was always at home, I was always tagged along in her Bible studies and other fellowships with her, including in her vending. My other sisters took turn in going to school. While the other sister was in college, one had to stop and work as a housemaid of a Chinese family just to be able to help. One sister named Leah did not go to school for 11 years. She was the one who personally took care of our father when mother was not around. She would bathe him, change him, and feed him. She was only able to attend first day of class in her freshman year but after 2 weeks she stopped and decided to attend to our father instead. It was only after our oldest sister Loida graduated in college and started her teaching job, that she was able to go back to school but this time, not as freshman student but as college student. She passed the acceleration exam and was automatically moved to enroll in college. The eldest brother (only son) Emmanuel, did not have much time at home as he spent most of his teenage and bachelor’s life away from home as a working student. He lived in the school where he graduated mechanical engineering after years of toil and labor.

Mother was a faithful giver too. There were times I asked her to buy bread because we were hungry; she told me she had nothing to buy. I told her I saw money inserted in her bible; she said we can’t touch it because it was her tithes. At first I did not understand that but every time I see all God has blessed us with, I could only say God is real and would silently say thanks to Mama for that legacy of faith in God and generosity to others. She had the heart of a servant. She was always willing to help others. Despite her being busy in the church and activities, she always had time for papa. She would take him for a jogging at the sports center or brisk walking along the highway. Mama was so proud of Papa and we have seen how much she took care of him. Her love for him was genuine and sacrificial as papa would sometimes act like a baby. He had the tendency to hurt us as his way of getting our attention.

The most amazing thing that has happened to us is that father got better and has recovered physically from his stroke. It was mother who always massaged him every night and early morning before she left for work. Until one day we were all surprised that papa could already walk and eat by himself and finally could start talking. He started to remember things. Although he could not remember everything but who would have thought that he would still live and survive and much more, recover with no medication anymore? It was all because of God’s divine miracle. My sisters were all active youth leaders and so am I. we were involved in mission and church work. Each of us had our own family now except our youngest and still celebrating the faithfulness of GOD IN OUR LIVES. He has been blessing us all the way not necessarily in material aspect but most importantly, spiritually.

In 2001, our beloved mother went ahead to her creator. It left so much sadness for us because we miss her but definitely not sorrow because we are happy that she’s finally home. It has been 31 years already since that fateful night happened, and now I am 35, I enjoy taking care of my father. He is now 70 years old. Still healthy, active and I just thank God for all that He has blessed us with. In return we also want to bless others through this testimony that God will never leave us nor forsake us. In Papa’s disability, our divine Father is just ever loving, generous, faithful and true.

CN144 online poetry project (an interpretation)

2009-02-03T23:49:00.006+08:00

Give your interpretation on the Visayan poem by Rene Estella Amper translated in Tagalog by Don Pagusara with the title "Sa Babaeng Naghubad sa Dalampasigan ng Obong". Leave your interpretation on this page by clicking the comment button. Don't forget to write your name.

Due date is on Feb. 8, 2009 - 11:59 pm - late entries will no longer be honored.

God Bless everyone...Be inspired!

CN326 - written and online project

2009-01-31T02:30:00.003+08:00

Read the story "Si Anabella" by Magdalena Jalandoni
page 285 (Borrow my brown book)

Instruction:

1. Make a critical analysis of the story (in English) by looking at the following aspects:

a. characters
b. plot / structure

b.1. exposition
b.2. conflict
b.3. climax
b.4. falling action
b.5. denouement

c. theme of the story

d. symbolism/s employed

2. must be 3 - 5 pages, short bond paper, 1 & 1/2 spacing, arial, 12 font size, standard margin

3. due date: Friday, Feb. 6/09, 5pm submit personally or by group at room 636..late papers will not be honored

4. online project - leave a comment on this page, click and post comment below by answering these questions.
a. if you are to change the title of the story, what would it be and why?
b. if you were Anabella, what will you do?
c. what song fits best in this story? attach the song lyrics.

EE22 Students Phil. Lit. College of Education

2009-01-29T20:03:00.006+08:00

Instruction:

Part A (70 points)
1.Read this short story written by Dr. Anthony Tan
2.Using the formalistic approach in Literary criticism, make a Critical analysis on the Short Story by looking into the following aspects:

a.character
b.theme
c.plot / structure
exposition
conflict
rising action
climax
falling action
denouement
3. Encoded / computerized, short bond paper, 1 & 1/2 spacing, standard margin, arial, 12 f.s., minimum pages - 3-5 pages (or more)

4. Due date: February 5, 2009, to be collected during class exam schedule.
5. for further inquiries please visit my office on my consultation hour.

Part B - Online Project (30 points)

1. If you are going to make a new title of the story, what would it be and why?
2. answer briefly. Indicate your Title by placing it inside the quotation marks. Example Title: "Looking at a New Horizon" then add a 1 - 2 paragraph justification of your title as based from the story read.
3. Online Project due on February 8, 2009.
4. Entries beyond due date will not be honored.

The Cargo
ANTHONY L. TAN

A deep-blue stillness was upon the sea as if this were the earth’s last morning and the boat, with its cargo of dead bodies, were on a last voyage toward infinity.
He was in a daze, his mind unable to come to grips with bare facts. He was wrestling with the intrusions of fear and despair, alternating like the crest and trough of the waves on the boundless sea, bearing down on him, heavy as the sheer mass of the sea itself. He wanted to talk about these emotions, about anything at all, but there was no one alive in the world. If there had been seagulls, at least he could have shouted at them, or better still, cursed them. But no seagulls flew this far. If the earth had been flat, this part of the sea would have been its very edge before the boat would plunge into the abyss. Yet, he was aware, the sun was rising steadily, indifferently.

Asmawil stared again. On the bow, under a green tarpaulin, the huddled bodies were still warm. They were seated as though they were merely suffering from sickness. Their heads were bowed or turned. He did not know why he had them seated. He knew them all by name, by their first names. The one wearing a skullcap was his wife’s nephew, bodyguard to the ship’s owner. For no conscious reason, he had seated these two next to each other.

The motor launch had been drifting for three hours now. He had stopped the engine when he decided to drag the bodies to the bow. But even after he had put the tarpaulin over the bodies and securely tied its ends to the posts supporting the roof, he did not start the engine. He was in no hurry to reach Siasi, the port of departure, or any island for that matter. He was secure on his boat and, more than at any time in his life, he feared the living more than the dead. He knew what folks believed about a dead body on a boat—that it was accompanied by forty-four evil spirits, and that was why any boat carrying a dead body was a slow boat. But he feared neither the dead nor their spirits. For one thing, they did not ask any questions; or if they did, the questions were never on their lips, only in their eyes, in their faraway stare. They seemed to be looking for something farther than their eyes could see. They seemed to ask, but since their questions were never uttered, he did not have to answer them. Besides, he was certain there were no spirits.

He went to the kitchen at the stern and brewed himself some coffee. He had not realized, until now, how hungry he was. When he sat down to drink his second cup, with a cigarette between his fingers, he imagined what would happen when he got back to Siasi. The whole town would turn out and flock to the wharf to see his cargo. The people would be out on the streets as they would be on a morning when a hadji came home from a pilgrimage to Mecca. Except that there would be no school band, no streamers of welcome, no firecrackers, no rich and flowing robes, no turban, no tell-tale bruise on the forehead, which was the true mark of a pilgrim who had kissed the black stone at Kaaba. Because his was a different pilgrimage. Just a night at sea and a boat of ten men, nine of them now dead. As for the bruise, it was nowhere on the body.

And the people would ask all kinds of questions and interrupt themselves with accusations and curses. Did he kill them all? All of them? What a devil! Including his nephew? It’s only his wife’s nephew. The same. How can anyone do such a thing? He has a tail. Money, all that money. A hundred and fifty thousand, maybe more. More. Abdul was a rich man. No, it was not his; it was the middlemen’s. Robber, just the same. They will get his neck. Think of the relatives of the dead. Sure, the sons of Abdul. Why do you think he did it? He has a tail. No, greed. Insanity. They will kill even the cats in his house. Curse upon his children!

Upon my children? He shuddered to think of the curse upon his children. The curse upon his head he was ready to accept. He had seen enough of life and would willingly part with it. He could accept the end of his life the way he accepted that sharp, sudden pain at the back of his head each morning when he woke up. But not the curse of blood upon his children. Never his children. Never his wife. It was not right that they suffer for his sins, whatever those sins were. Besides, he did not do it. His children must not suffer. Neither must he.

For the first time since he was confronted with his cargo, his mind cleared up, and he recalled the incident only several hours before. It seemed ages ago, but when he looked again at the tarpaulin, he recalled that only yesterday afternoon he had seen the longshoremen roll two black, dented barrels of gasoline on a slender gangplank. He had feared the plank would break under the pressure. As a boat pilot for many years, he had seen enough of loading and unloading to know that the plank would only bend. He knew that as well as the longshoremen did. Yet he had some vague fear that the plank would break. Perhaps he had been wishing it would, so the trip would have to be delayed. If one of the barrels dropped into the sea, as he had wished, it would have given him a few more hours at home. He could have let the crew worry about it. He would have gone home to be with his wife.

When the last barrel had been rolled safely and staked in place on the side of the deck, one of the longshoremen, fiddling at his goose throat and showing his toothless gum, gave Asmawil a wide grin as if to mock him for his fear and selfish wish. Instead of being relieved, Asmawil was mildly angry and uncomfortable that his wish had not come true. Courteously, he smiled back at the longshoreman, who was still grinning and looking intently at him. Suddenly, something more than anger and frustration seized him. He went inside the poop to blow the horn. Two long, hoarse and impatient whistles startled the languid sundown, but the afterimage of that grinning face remained. A breath of vague sensation breezed through him.

The owner of the boat came out of the restaurant with his bodyguard and other members of the crew. A successful trader for some years, Abdul Tungki was a short, corpulent man whose waddling movements were made more pronounced by his bulging back pockets. Whether they were full of money or just business papers, nobody was certain. People who saw him waddle down the street on a busy day assumed that it must be money. As a trader, he made a fortune buying barter goods from Sandakan for the middlemen in Siasi. Even in the days before the national government sanitized the word “contraband” into “barter,” Abdul Tungki had always overstuffed his pockets the way most successful businessmen did. It was a status symbol, like carrying a chromium-plated .45, that the new rich should not be denied. They were to be envied, and only the poor bystanders of finer sensibilities were repulsed. On a trip like this, Abdul’s bodyguard, slinging an armalite, carried his black attaché case.
Asmawil had come out of the poop and lighted a cigarette. He inhaled the first smoke deeply and blew slowly out into the clear air. He was relieved to know that the weather was fine. It was not dark yet. High in the west the moon was an imperfect crescent. A feeble star hung above one of its horns. A week before, when he and his wife were relaxing on the porch of his house in South Laud, he had noticed that the star was directly above the valley of the crescent, and the moon looked like the crook of a mother’s arm cradling an infant. Looking at the moon and the star close together never failed to amuse him because of what folks believed, that the conjunction of these two heavenly bodies meant two young lovers were going to elope. Yet when he himself ran off with his wife, there was no such heavenly sign. He doubted the accuracy of the folk belief, but he was certain that, moon or no moon, young lovers ran off because it was the cheapest way to get married. Their hot blood did not wait for heaven’s sanction, nor for any distant signs, only for the encouraging glint in their lover’s eyes. The young had common sense. For them, the way through the knot of conventions was not to untie it but to cut it. Also, their acceptance of the risks when they ran off were somewhat romantic. And Asmawil knew those risks.

He tried to rouse himself from his reverie, but it gave him such immense comfort that he could not shake it from his mind. He lighted another stick of cigarette, and as the smoke made indefinite circles in the air, his mind sank back to that afternoon when Abdul Tungki entered the poop and told him to start going. In turn, Asmawil ordered the crew to release the cables from the bitts at the wharf and in a few minutes the boat, all agog with the raucity of the engine and the bell from the poop, set sail for Sandakan—one day and two nights away. The wooden hull of M/L Morning Glory was very light for its size, having been designed for fast sailing by the skilled boat makers of Sibutu Island. Fitted with two 90-horsepower Yanmar engines, it would use only one engine on a safe regular trip. The second was a standby engine in case the boat ran into naval boats patrolling the boundary between the Philippines and Borneo. Once in a while the second engine was used just to keep it in shape. In the days of smuggling blue-seal cigarettes, when naval patrols were more frequent, the slower boats always ran out of luck. They were caught and towed behind a naval boat to Bongao, the nearest port of call from the boundary, where the crew members were imprisoned and the boats impounded; or the merchandise and crew were lost to rapacious pirates, who made guns their primary capital in the lucrative business. The fastest boat was the luckiest, and Asmawil was proud that the Morning Glory—a name he had chosen himself because, invariably, it would have sight of its destination in a blaze of glorious sunrise—had never suffered humiliation or loss. Allah be praised for such a boat, he would pray in his unconventional way. He would never be a pilot of a slower boat. He would not take too many risks.

In the past he had known fear—the very shape of it, the way it struck him like cold air that, suddenly from nowhere, pierced his skin and stiffened his nipples and entered the hollow of his stomach—and he would experience the loosening of bowels. Often it came in the shape of a heaving sea. What lurked beneath the sudden swell, the mysterious and the unpredictable, what the eyes could not see and the mind could not anticipate, was what he feared more than the broadsides of the patrol boats or the firepower of the pirates. He knew one could always return the compliments with his own firepower although that was a last resort. The easiest way was to steer away from the course of enemies or outrun them on the high seas. But he could not forearm himself against that which he could not anticipate; responding to the unpredictable, when it happened, took a superior intelligence and vast composure. Yet fear of the unknown, rational as it was, was not to be revealed to another man, even to his co-pilot, who confidently steered the boat windward.

Last night he had no such fear. The weather was good. The cold wind was gentle and caressing. Within the range of his vision were the lights from the fishermen’s boats and crystals of foam on the otherwise still surface, and the only sounds were the engine throbbing, almost like the heartbeat of the night itself, and the gentle, incessant vibrations on the railing against which his body was pressed. Not fear, but awe—an awe so sacred that only an act of total surrender could capture its sanctity; to speak of it would only spoil its immediacy and ineffableness. Last night awe had filled his being as he wondered how in their silence the sea and the sky were one. No horizon separated them. Black merged into black. He had the uncanny feeling that if this boat were to sail on indefinitely, it would, on a night like this, be lifted one degree higher to touch the sky’s rim. So quiet were the empty spaces, he felt like a solitary earthling on an odyssey between the galaxies. The illusion of the nearness of the constellations to one another made him feel that no distance was far enough for his boat.

He looked toward the stern, and he saw the smokestack emit a steady stream of blackish smoke. There was something about machines, he thought, that made them a reassuring companion. They were so predictable, even the most sophisticated—until they conked out or were abused. Then they became dangerous, as if in their weakness or misuse they asserted their superiority and independence.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he did not notice the wind had changed course. He had been drifting for hours, but still no island fringed the horizon. By his reckoning it was nearly noon. The distant water had begun to shimmer in the heat, and under a light breath of wind the sea was like a million fish scales. He went to the kitchen and cooked something for lunch, then went down into the engine room. He noticed the bilge had risen to a dangerous level; it had, in fact, reached the wooden frame on which the engines were mounted. He started the motorized water pump. It began to make a sucking sound.

He went up and examined the bodies. The blood had dried and caked around the wounds and on the floor, and its bad smell assailed his nose. The heat, he thought. He went back into the engine room and, after hesitating a moment, carefully wound a light piece of rope around the ridge of the circular head of one engine. With one vigorous pull the engine thundered in his ears, and his whole body shook with the vibrations of the hull.

Taking the helm, he turned the bow 180 degrees and watched as the compass needle slowly moved east. He was moving opposite the sun’s path, against the wind, in the direction that would lead him back to Siasi. He knew that, and he knew that there was no other place for the dead but Siasi, where their families would bury them and avenge them; and he knew, too, on whose head their vengeance would fall. It should not be on his head, but it could well be because they would doubt his story, for vengeance would make them doubt the most naked truth. He was not turning back to Siasi for the sake of the truth. He knew its consequences not only for him, but also for his wife and children. Yet he was turning back to Siasi because it was the only place for the dead, and the dead needed burial. He was not concerned with decorous, purificatory rites: the bathing of the body, the shaving of the face, the white shroud, the mesmerizing prayers chanted through the night. The rites were for the living who needed distractions because they could not see death in its sheerest simplicity. As for the dead, even those who had made their living from the sea needed one thing only: a place in the bowels of the earth.

The tarpaulin was flapping incessantly on the bow, and the wind was blowing the smell into the poop. Leaving the helm, he went back into the engine room and started the other engine. He knew he had to get back to Siasi before evening, before the smell became unbearable. He thought again of the folks who believed that each dead person was accompanied by forty-four evil spirits. If so, he thought, there should be 396 of them on the boat, and they could gang up on him and hurl him against the engines or drown him in the bilge. It would have been better, he thought, if they did, and it would be the end, rather than this journey of infinite solitude. The thought of these spirits in the engine room made the hair on his nape stand on end. He reached back and slapped his neck three times. He climbed to the deck. He hurried to the poop. And then he realized that there was no one but him, the wind, the sound it made on the tarpaulin and the smell it carried, the engines with their vibrations, and the wavelets in the half-empty glass beside the binnacle.

He knew what he would do when he got back to Siasi. He would tell the story exactly as it happened, no more, no less, exactly as he remembered it. The bare facts would suffice, and they were easier to tell. In less than thirty minutes the authorities would know all they would want to know. But the truth was a different matter. It would not be necessary. It was powerless to bring back the dead, anyway.

He would not tell the authorities, unless they wanted some embellishments, how the sharp, metallic sound of the armalite had broken his sleep, how for a moment he had lain frozen, wondering if it was a nightmare, and then how it was followed by another burst of rapid sounds, like a hammer on a nail, and he had jumped out of his bunk and entered the poop and had seen a shadow dragging something, for it was dark. And all he had done was ask what it was, and the shadow answered, and he knew it was his nephew.

Plainly he would tell the authorities that it was his nephew who had killed the men. Why Tadji did it only Tadji knew, and he too was now dead. How could he, Asmawil, know what it would take to kill eight people? Only madness, and he called his nephew insane. Tadji said it was for a reason. Abdul had insulted him, called him lagak, glutton, and Asmawil said it must have been only a joke. Tadji insisted that Abdul had meant to insult him; otherwise, why did he do it in a restaurant, where there were many people? Where Sali, Akmad, Ummar, and the others were present, who also laughed when Abdul said Tadji was big because he ate too much and made a great deal of sound like a pig. But if Abdul got what he deserved, what about the others? Because they laughed, too, and they heard the insult; and if they lived, they would talk about his crime. That was how Tadji explained his madness, but it did not explain human madness at all—why there was such a thing in the world. The authorities may accept the explanation as plausible. So Asmawil thought he would simply repeat what Tadji had said. He would add only what he had seen at dawn, that Tadji was counting the money in the attaché case, and that it came close to 180,000 pesos. He would not tell the authorities, because it was beside the point, that he knew the wife of Tadji had an inordinate fondness for jewels and movies and clothes, and that Tadji was a devoted husband. He would not tell that Tadji, with a mysterious smile, had asked him if he wanted some of the money, and he said no, he did not want the money of other people, and the smile suddenly changed into a threatening glare. He would not quote Tadji, who said it was not the money of Abdul, but the money of the middlemen. He would not tell how he did not argue the point because it was dangerous to make a madman see that it was all the same, for it was not his money, and that in silence he called his nephew a pirate. He would ask the authorities to return the money to the middlemen whose names, and the barter merchandise they had ordered, Abdul had carefully written down in his notebook.
There was only one thing left for him to tell, and that needed an explanation. He would confess that he killed his nephew, his wife’s nephew. He hoped the authorities would be satisfied with an explanation of how he had done it, how he outwitted a big, young man with an armalite, and that they would not ask him, until later in court, to reenact the whole sequence of his crime because it was painful to go through the details once more. Later perhaps, he would be kinder to himself; he would absolve himself of any guilt because it was necessary to defend himself against a madman. Just for now, he hoped, he would only explain how he had done it, but even that was painful enough because it was shameful and sordid. It was not worthy of him to have done it, but it was necessary to kill a madman while he was off his guard, while he was squatting half-naked over the hole of the toilet, his back facing the door. Why Tadji trusted him after threatening to kill him, Asmawil thought, he could not explain. He had attributed it to the mysterious workings of fate because, quite simply, fate did not want him to die that day. It was Tadji’s life that had run its full course. But whether it was fate or chance was another matter. Tadji said he would kill him because he knew his uncle would talk, and he suspected that Asmawil wanted part of the money in spite of his denial. He was sparing his life for the time being because he needed his uncle to take him back to Siasi, that as soon as they were near the island his uncle would have to die, too. He told him that in Siasi he would tell the police that they had been robbed by pirates, and that his life was spared only because the pirates knew his wife.

Asmawil wanted to laugh at this ingenious lie, but it was a madman with an armalite who stood before him, and he was not tempted to wrestle with him for the gun. Tadji told him to keep his eye on the helm while he went to the kitchen to look for something to eat, and he warned Asmawil not to come near or he would shoot him. Asmawil heard no sound of utensils from the kitchen for a long while. He grew excited when the suspicion struck him that Tadji was in fact in the toilet. Knowing that Tadji had the armalite did not deter Asmawil from going to the kitchen for the knife. He had to take the chance to save himself. The long curve of the head of the knife must have caused Tadji enormous pain, he thought, for Tadji had swallowed the smoke of his cigarette and coughed when the knife struck the hollow around his collar bones, and a prolonged snore came from his mouth.

That was the story, not as he would like to tell it to the authorities, but as he remembered it. He would tell the other details, if they were necessary to convince them, but he would rather not. They would ask for the approximate time of the day when it happened, as if a man would slaughter another man at a specific time, like a goat or cow at the slaughterhouse. Goats and cows were killed more mercifully, he thought, with the sharpest blade, like a kris or a barung, with one’s own personal weapon, so that death was swift and there was less pain. On more than one occasion he had seen an imam, a religious man, slaughter a goat after a solemn prayer. Perhaps because its meat was to be eaten.

Would the authorities like to know about the weather, too? He would tell them of last night’s windless lull, of a world peacefully asleep. But even if the wind and the sea had raged, their fury would have been nothing compared to the madness of last night. Veteran sailors and competent weathermen could tell you when a storm would strike. They knew the places where the waves were always huge the whole year round, and they would tell you to avoid those places. Look for a harbor in the season of the habagat, the sailors would say. Sail in April and May when it is uttarah. The wind and the sea had their season of peace, as if they had a mind of their own and obeyed a meaningful pattern. No, he decided, the authorities would not ask him about the weather. It was not their duty to know about it. They were not sailors. It was also beside the point. The weather had nothing to do with the madness of man. And he knew the authorities were right.

The sun was down in the west when he got near Sirum, the island before Siganggang, which lay opposite Siasi. Two hours more, he said to himself, but, almost immediately, he remembered he was running on two engines. One hour, he corrected himself.

When he saw the mountain of Siasi rise slowly in the horizon, a sudden vision of his own death gripped him. Turn back, an inner voice told him, turn back. He felt powerless against the lure of the harbor. And he was tired, and the desire to lie down beside his wife in a comfortable bed overpowered his instinct to preserve his life. Besides, where would he go? Out there on the high seas, what would he have? He could not drift forever. Soon he would run out of oil, and he was sure the weather would change. He would have to find a harbor, a foothold on some land. If it meant facing the avengers of the murdered sailors, so be it. There was a slim chance that they would believe him. But even then, he would have to face the avengers of Tadji. He had not thought of Tadji’s brothers when he killed him in self-defense. He knew that self-defense did not exempt him from the stringent law of vengeance. Would it have been better if it were he, instead of Tadji, who was dead? For having outlived Tadji, for having bought a fraction of human time, he knew he had to pay with his own blood, and perhaps the blood of his own children, too. While his mind was debating whether he had acted wisely in bringing back the dead to Siasi, the boat had moved irrevocably within sight of the island.

In the twilight sky, the tallest landmarks of the island stood above the lights from the squat houses. From the distance, the telecommunications tower was a sharply tapering edifice, without lights since its antennas had been struck down by lightning many years before. The church belfry did not look so imposing now as when he was a boy. A very long time ago, he used to sit beneath a camachile tree at angelus, not to listen to the clang of the bell, which did not please him, but to watch the startled doves fly out of their niches when the bell rang and circle uncertainly for a moment about the belfry, like erratic silhouettes in the dusk. The needle-like minarets of the mosque did not seem to soar as high as they did at noon, when their chalky whiteness glinted in the sun. Darkness seemed to dwarf them. The faithful who built them had wanted them to soar beyond the highest pitch of the muezzin’s call to prayer, to soar to the bosom of heaven itself. The dome of the mosque was crowned, appropriately, by the ubiquitous symbol of Islam: a star above the crescent moon. Yet the sight of it did not summon religious fervor in his heart, nor images of the turbaned missionaries who had come to this shore centuries ago, nor the fiery swords of Bedouin sheiks crushing their icon-worshiping enemies. What images it summoned were supplied by the folk belief about fugitive lovers pursued by the armed relatives of the girls. He saw two runaway youths who would consummate their desire and repeat the eternal drama of love and birth. Further into his vision, images of the children of those lovers rose before him like the procession of the future itself, not ghostly faces, but clear, bright, and brown faces, like those of his own children, wearing in their smiles the innocence of those who would not inherit the blight of their human parents, as if they were to be the new creatures, running and playing on the primal shore, basking in the maternal warmth of the earth’s first morning.

Essay to read and read for an essay

2009-01-28T23:46:00.005+08:00

This is an article I happened to read while browsing and surfing across the net. I was really looking for articles that are very Filipino. Something that every young people like you and the young generation per se could appreciate and love. Reading is such a boring activity some people would say. But i blatantly say "No". In contrast, it is quite one of the best forms of recreation. It unleashes the lurking self in you. The sulking person inside you. But one can only better appreciate what he is reading once he reads from the heart. This article isn't only for the love of reading or for the sake of compliance to the reading requirement being asked from you, but this is more of a reawakening for the future leaders, the youth, into becoming a better individual, responsible citizen and above all, one who is ready to acquire change in his life for the betterment of his country, may it be gradual or drastic. For now, just read, have fun and understand the message... Read between the lines...Read beyond the lines...Most importantly, read from your heart!
-Prof. D-

Freedom from Want
By Carlos Bulosan

Published in the Saturday Evening Post Magazine, March 6, 1943
as one of the commissioned essays on the Four Freedoms in America

1. So long as the fruit of our labor is denied us, so long will want manifest itself in a world of slaves.
If you want to know what we are, look upon the farms or upon the hard pavements of the city. You usually see us working or waiting for work, and you think you know us, but our outward guise is more deceptive than our history.
Our history has many strands of fear and hope that snarl and converge at several points in time and space. We clear the forest and the mountains of the land. We cross the river and the wind. We harness wild beast and living steel. We celebrate labor, wisdom, peace of the soul.

2. When our crops are burned or plowed under, we are angry and confused. Sometimes we ask if this is the real America. Sometimes we watch our long shadows and doubt the future. But we have learned to emulate our ideals from these trials. We know there were men who came and stayed to build America. We know they came because there is something in America that they needed, and which needed them.
We march on, though sometimes strange moods fill our children. Our march toward security and peace is the march of freedom—the freedom that we should like to become a living part of. It is the dignity of the individual to live in a society of free men, where the spirit of understanding and belief exists; of understanding that all men, whatever their color, race, religion or estate, should be given equal opportunity to serve themselves and each other according to their needs and abilities.

3. But we are not really free unless we use what we produce. So long as the fruit of our labor is denied us, so long will want manifest itself in a world of slaves.
It is only when we have plenty to eat—plenty of everything— that we begin to understand what freedom means. To us, freedom is not an intangible thing. When we have enough to eat, then we are healthy enough to enjoy what we eat. Then we have the time and ability to read and think and discuss things. Then we are not merely living but also becoming a creative part of life. It is only then that we become a growing part of democracy.

4. We do not take democracy for granted. We feel it grow in our working together—many millions of us working toward a common purpose. If it took us several decades of sacrifice to arrive at this faith, it is because it took us that long to know what part of America is ours.
Our faith has been shaken many times, and now it is put to question. Our faith is a living thing, and it can be crippled or chained. It can be killed by denying us enough food or clothing, by blasting away our personalities and keeping us in constant fear. Unless we are properly prepared the powers of darkness will have good reason to catch us unaware and trample our lives.

5. The totalitarian nations hate democracy. They hate us, because we ask for a definite guaranty of freedom of religion, freedom of expresson and freedom from fear and want. Our challenge to tyranny is the depth of our faith in a democracy worth defending, although they spread lies about us, the way of life we cherish is not dead. The American dream is only hidden away, and it will push its way up and grow again.
We have moved down the years steadily toward the practice of democracy. We become animate in the growth of Kansas wheat or in the ring of Mississippi rain. We tremble in the strong winds of the Great Lakes. We cut timbers in Oregon just as the wild flowers blossom in Maine. We are multitudes in Pennsylvania mines, in Alaskan canneries. We are millions from Puget Sound to Florida. In violent factories, crowded tenements, teeming cities. Our numbers increase as the war revolves into years and increases hunger, disease, death and fear.

6. Even when we see our children suffer humiliations, we cannot believe that America has no more place for us. We realize that what is wrong is not in our system of government, but in the ideals which were blasted away by a materialistic age.
But sometimes we wonder if we are really a part of America. We recognize the main springs of American democracy in our right to form unions and bargain through them collectively, our opportunity to sell our products at reasonable prices, and the privilege of our children to attend schools where they learn the truth about the world in which they live. We also recognize the forces which have been trying to falsify American history—the forces which drive away many Americans to a corner of compromise with those who would distort the ideals of men that died for freedom.

7. Sometimes we walk across the land looking for something to hold on to. We cannot believe that the resources of this country are exhausted. Even when we see our children suffer humiliations, we cannot believe that America has no more place for us. We realize that what is wrong is not in our system of government, but in the ideals which were blasted away by a materialistic age. We know that we can truly find and identify ourselves with a living tradition if we walk proudly in familiar streets. It is a great honor to walk on the American earth.
If you want to know what we are, look at the men reading books, searching in the dark pages of history for the lost word, the key to the mystery of the living peace. We are factory hands, field hands, mill hands, searching, building and molding structures. We are doctors, scientists, chemists discovering and eliminating disease, hunger and antagonism. We are soldiers, Navy men, citizens, guarding the imperishable dreams of our fathers to live in freedom. We are the living dream of dead men. We are the living spirit of free men.

8. Everywhere we are on the march, passing through darkness into a sphere of economic peace. When we have the freedom to think and discuss things without fear, when peace and security are assured, when the futures of our children are ensured—then we have resurrected and cultivated the early beginnings of democracy. And America lives and becomes a growing part of our aspirations again.
We have been marching for the last one hundred and fifty years. We sacrifice our individual liberties, and sometimes we fail and suffer. Sometimes we divide into separate groups and our methods conflict, though we all aim at one common goal. The significant thing is that we march on without turning back. What we want is peace not violence, We know that we thrive and prosper only in peace.

9. We are bleeding where clubs are smashing heads, where bayonets are gleaming. We are fighting where the bullet is crashing upon armorless citizens, where the tear gas is choking unprotected children. Under the lynch trees, amidst hysterical mobs. Where the prisoner is beaten to confess a crime he did not commit. Where the honest man is hanged because he told the truth.
We are the sufferers who suffer for natural love of man for another man, who commemorate the humanities of every man. We are the creators of abundance.

10. We are the desires of anonymous men. We are the subways of suffering, the well of indignities. We are the living testament of a flowering race.
But our march to freedom is not complete unless want is annihilated. The America we hope to see is not merely a physical but also a spiritual and intellectual world. We are the mirror of what America is. If America wants us to be living and free, then we must be living and free. If we fail, then America fails.
What do we want? We want complete security and peace. We want to share the promise and fruits of American life. We want to be free from fear and hunger.

11. If you want to know what we are—We are Marching!

If you want to know what we are

2009-01-28T23:16:00.004+08:00

I just love this poem the first time i have read this. It talks about me. It talks about you. It talks about US. Read this and give your comments afterward. I am keeping my fingers crossed that as you read this poem, you will also be able to internalize the author's (our very own Carlos Bulosan) sentiments, his call, his effort to awaken us all as well as know the very reason behind his writing this literary piece. If we want others to know who we really are, we should know ourselves better first. Ask yourself this rhetorical question. (if you want to know) What Are You?

If You Want to Know What We Are
by Carlos Bulosan

1. If you want to know what we are who inhabit
forest mountain rivershore, who harness
beast, living steel, martial music (that classless
language of the heart), who celebrate labour,
wisdom of the mind, peace of the blood;

2. If you want to know what we are who become
animate at the rain’s metallic ring, the stone’s
accumulated strength, who tremble in the wind’s
blossoming (that enervates earth’s potentialities),
who stir just as flowers unfold to the sun;

3. If you want to know what we are who grow
powerful and deathless in countless counterparts,
each part pregnant with hope, each hope supreme,
each supremacy classless, each classlessness
nourished by unlimited splendor of comradeship;

4. We are multitudes the world over, millions everywhere;
in violent factories, sordid tenements, crowded cities;
in skies and seas and rivers, in lands everywhere;
our number increase as the wide world revolves
and increases arrogance, hunger disease and death.

5. We are the men and women reading books, searching
in the pages of history for the lost word, the key
to the mystery of living peace, imperishable joy;
we are factory hands field hands mill hand everywhere,
molding creating building structures, forging ahead,

6. Reaching for the future, nourished in the heart;
we are doctors scientists chemists discovering,
eliminating disease and hunger and antagonisms;
we are soldiers navy-men citizens guarding
the imperishable will of man to live in grandeur,

7. We are the living dream of dead men everywhere,
the unquenchable truth that class-memories create
to stagger the infamous world with prophecies
of unlimited happiness_a deathless humanity;
we are the living and the dead men everywhere….

8. If you want to know what we are, observe
the bloody club smashing heads, the bayonet
penetrating hallowed breasts, giving no mercy; watch the
bullet crashing upon armorless citizens;
look at the tear-gas choking the weakened lung.

9. If you want to know what we are, see the lynch
trees blossoming, the hysterical mob rioting;
remember the prisoner beaten by detectives to confess
a crime he did not commit because he was honest,
and who stood alone before a rabid jury of ten men,

10 .And who was sentenced to hang by a judge
whose bourgeois arrogance betrayed the office
he claimed his own; name the marked man,
the violator of secrets; observe the banker,
the gangster, the mobsters who kill and go free;

11.We are the sufferers who suffer for natural love
of man for man, who commemorate the humanities
of every man; we are the toilers who toil
to make the starved earth a place of abundance
who transform abundance into deathless fragrance.

12.We are the desires of anonymous men everywhere,
who impregnate the wide earth’s lustrous wealth
with a gleaming fluorescence; we are the new thoughts
and the new foundations, the new verdure of the mind;
we are the new hope new joy life everywhere.

13.We are the vision and the star, the quietus of pain;
we are the terminals of inquisition, the hiatuses
of a new crusade; we are the subterranean subways
of suffering; we are the will of dignities;
we are the living testament of a flowering race.

14. If you want to know what we are
WE ARE REVOLUTION!

The Solid Foundation

2009-01-27T01:46:00.005+08:00

"Life with Christ is an endless hope; without Him a hopeless end." – Unknown

The Holy Scriptures talk about our life being likened to a house which in some instances, some homes are built with strong foundation thus were meant to last while some crumble easily when strong winds blow or are drifted away when flash floods come unexpectedly. Accordingly, the ultimate "difference is not in the severity of the storm but in the quality of the foundation upon which the structure is built." (Kenneth Osbeck)

Once we build our house with quality foundation, we are rest assured that no matter =how strong the tempest may be, or how wild the wind blows, it will stand still because of its strong foundation. and so with our life, once we lay our life in Jesus Christ alone, our strongest foundation, no storm so strong, wind so wild, flood so high and deep could ever shake us because we have HIM in our hearts and we are safe in HIS HANDS. Trust no one but God alone!

For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:11)

My Bestfriend's Wedding

2009-01-25T00:58:00.006+08:00

my bestfriend's wedding...a marriage made in heaven...a dream come true!

When I was told to give light on how James and Rethse met, became friends, how such friendship bloomed into a productive relationship and finally ended in marriage, i pondered and asked myself, do I really know enough about their relationship? I know that what i can share is only based on what I think I know, see and observe in their flourishing love. But if there are legitimate people who have the authority to speak of their love; it will only be the two of them.

This wedding was just actually Rethse’s dream a few years back. She dreamt to have a simple wedding with special friends, closest family and relatives around and most especially, marry the man of her dreams.

It was October of 2007 when Rethse came home from Manila where she was working. We spent time together talking and as an older sister was giving her plethora of advice about the emotional baggage she was carrying that time. She was nursing a broken heart.. James was a good friend of my biological sister. I did not know James that time but I have heard from her that James was also fixing a broken heart. In short, both were healing and recovering from past unsuccessful relationship.. My sister suggested we introduce to each other. I told Rethse about this and jokingly, Rethse took the challenge and said, why not? So the blind date was set…they finally met. That was the start of their friendship but we have seen a different twinkle from both their eyes and special kind of feeling was floating in the air. We had bonding night with other friends and invited James to come over. He was somewhat shy but you could see his determination to win Rethse’s heart. Yet we also felt the suppression. Both were suppressing and keeping what they were feeling for each other.. I told James it was too early to think about courting Rethse so all he was supposed to do was enjoy the friendship. I told him, whatever his intentions are for Rethse; hope it will never hurt her. He can’t afford to hurt one very good, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, sweet and loving woman.

When Rethse returned to Manila for her work, their call and text communication went on and became more frequent than the time she was here. Two months after, their friendship was being tried and tested. I know Rethse was hurt. My sister and I overreacted to the issue and were angry at James for hurting her unintentionally. We blamed James in fact I was so angry when I texted him. I felt like an over protective mother to Rethse. But it was Rethse who stood by James’s and things were settled eventually.

On March 2008, Rethse came home and decided to stay here for good. 6 months after enjoying the friendship with James, they became steady. And on year after their first meeting, James proposed marriage to Rethse. So there, they were engaged. I was the first among her friends to know about this and was very happy for them to have finally sealed their love in marriage. Indeed, it is very important for any relationship to be grounded in friendship. As it is the springboard to any other beautiful relationship.

My husband and i are very glad to be part of their wedding. as cord sponsors, may the symbol of unity and strength be real in their life and I believe IT WILL BE as they make God their HEAD and PRIORITY in their relationship.

For the new couple, Mr. & Mrs. James Banaag, keep the important ingredients to a successful family life: help and understand and trust each other, nourish your love each day, maintain your friendship And above all let God the center of your relationship because he is the source of all familial blessings.

Take good care of each other, learn from each other and grow in each other’s love. We love you, and we are very happy to have become part of your life together and expect that we will always be there for you. God bless you richly and more power! Our Best wishes to both of you !

Beating deadlines, skeds and self!

2009-01-22T02:11:00.008+08:00

Busy Schedules
I have been into a lot activities today...i think and think and think and think and think...(lol)... Kidding aside, i was pretty busy in the academe and what i have been doing seemed to cause my head to burst...Thank God for His sustaining grace.

My Apologies
I apologize for not writing for quite sometime, i just felt like sulking in my corner lately. anyways, i finally decided to be back to work (i mean here in metamorphosis) again and should there be need of reconstruction, renovation, repair or etc, i would probably do it gradually...

Greetings...
foremost, i want to congratulate my very special friends who are celebrating their 9th wedding anniversary...Advance happy 23rd birthday to katee, my loyal housemate; happy 70th birthday to my papa; happy 7th birthday to my only son RED; happy 1st birthday to my house pet kookoo and would like to formally welcome a new house member named "hearty"...

spills
there are so many challenges that i am facing right now...I just make it sure that i have girded myself well with God's weapons to be able to face my battles courageously and won them victoriously...

Things to do this week:
1. LET Reviewer (Saturday, 8:00 - 12:00, January 24, 2009)
2. Best' Wedding - Cord Sp0nsor (Saturday, 2:00 pm, January 24, 2009)
3. Reading Assignment for MAELS
4. MAELS Class (MSU-IIT) (Sunday, 8:00 - 5:00, January 25, 2009)

Updates:
I am on the process of making the family site. Just doing some finishing touches on the genealogy...hope to write more in my other blogsite...

Excited!!!
We will be seeing our Professor again, one of my faves at MSU-IIT (Dr. Tan)

XoXo!!!

The New Year 2009

2009-01-02T15:34:00.007+08:00

The New Year 2009 is something I perceive would be a great year for everyone. Each year that God adds to our life is an evidence of His great love for mankind. God Himself declares His promise in the Book of Jeremiah the plans He has for us. These are plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a good future (Jeremiah 29:11). He knows fully well the plans He stored for us.

With that assurance, we should keep ourselves from devising our own plan outside his will. All our plans and desires will prosper so long as we allow Him to take full control of our lives. Remember, our thoughts are not His thoughts nor our ways His ways (Isaiah 55:8). For us to be able to know God's thoughts and ways and His purpose in our lives, this year would be the best start to seek for that purpose by coming close to Him and dwell in His Word. We will understand the purpose of our existence once we allow God to deal with us. God does not underestimate our heart's desire. In fact, the Bible says that we have to delight ourselves in the Lord for He will grant the desires of our heart. In other words, once we please God with our lives we are guaranteed of receiving what we desire. But we shouldn't also forget that our heart's desire must also be in accordance to His will and purpose.

Living in God's will is hard. It entails sacrifices, selflessness and humility. It requires giving up your own selfish wants and desires and giving your heart to Him. Yes, it is hard but so fulfilling. It will give you peace, fulfillment and the feeling of unspeakable joy. There's no other way to God's will but through the condition of your heart. Let God reign!

(the photo above was taken on New Year's Eve of 2009 with my family. It is a 4-generation photo as you can see our apoy {grandma}, Papa, myself and my kids. from left to right: April {cousin}; joan {sister}; me; apoy casyang {grandma}; papa Freding; juntie {husband}; red {son}; katee {relative}; jenny rose {cousin}; floor right: jamill {nephew & godson} and left: Apple {daughter}. with Joan, our new adopted pet "hearty")

WELCOME 2009!

My Prayer for the year that was and the year 2009

2008-12-31T21:03:00.008+08:00

Dearest Father God,

As this year comes to an end, i would like to give YOU back all the glory and honor and thanksgiving for the things that you have done in my life. Lord, You are so faithful and never faltered in fulfilling your promises in my life despite my unfaithfulness and faithlessness. i can never thank you enough for your steadfast LOVE that never ceases which are new every morning. Thank you for a victorious

Everyday, I could not deny your love when i look at the sky and see the brightness of the sun. it rings new hope, new assurance, new beginning of a new day. Lord, your love is so refreshing like a morning dew which strengthens me always. as the day closes and evening comes, i could see the magnificence of your might, your greatness, your awesomeness, your power..You shade light when it's dark, and it's giving me hope at the glimpse of it..You are my LIGHT..Shine in me Oh Loving God. I breathe the life you have blessed me with and i am offering this life back to you.

When i look back and gaze the path that i took, i can always see your hand guiding me to the right path, your hand comforting me, your hand holding me tight. Lord, forgive me for my shortcomings. i know i have hurt you in so many ways. But you cared for me so much that despite all my sins, you are always ready to forgive me and hold me close to you. let me be dwell in your presence always because in YOUR PRESENCE there is fullness of joy. I have experienced the feeling of loneliness, of bitterness, pain, insecurity and inferiority, shame and doubt but YOUR love surrounded me and kept me secure adn strong. You held me up so i can stand.

the trails i had me have been crooked and unpleasant, but you have brought me this far to come to you and make this life worthy of your love...Thank you Lord for all the countless blessings...You are indeed a living God. I claim for a more fruitful years in year 2009 and the years ahead, i claim victory, freedom and peace of mind. Thank you for good health, for loving family, wonderful kids and husband, smooth-sailing relationship with people at home, neighbors as well as my colleagues.forgive me for being mean to others and make me a blessing even to those who don't like me. make me love my enemies and return evil with goodness. let me live a life pleasing to your sight. let the words of my mouth be beautiful music to your ears..let me speak only of what's good and pleasant.

Lord, you have seen everything, my heart, my soul, my innermost thoughts and i offer them all to you...dear lord, make me a better person, loving, understanding, and faithful...God, my Lord, my Savior, my best friend, CHANGE ME and make me the person that YOU want me TO BE! I love you with all my heart...

I offer to you my life and my all. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A BLESSED 2009 TO ONE AND ALL..

For the year that was and the year 2009

2008-12-31T21:03:00.007+08:00

Dearest Father God,

As this year comes to an end, i would like to give YOU back all glory, honor and thanksgiving for the things that you have done in my life. Lord, You are so faithful and have never faltered in fulfilling your promises in my life despite my unfaithfulness and faithlessness. I can never thank you enough for your steadfast LOVE that never ceases and Your endless mercy. They are renewed every morning. Thank you for a victorious 2008 and for the wonderful years I had with my loved ones, relatives and friends. Thank you for the opportunity of meeting new friends and the chance of sharing myself to them. Thank you also for blessing me in my chosen career..Thank you for allowing me to impart myself to my students. I thank you too for the great challenge you have placed in my heart and indeed, learning is a two-way process, a give-and-take process ...I have learned so much from my students and have gleaned lessons from my teaching experience such as the value of patience and understanding. I have known and understood myself better through my students because they are a reflection of me.Thank you God for great students and the one-in-a-million chance of meeting and nurturing the future leaders of the land.

I thank you for every single moment you have made me savored life's sweet pain. Thanks for being there for me every single moment of my life. You never missed a thing in me. All my success and achievements are yours! All that I am, all that I have come from you!

Forgive me for not trusting you enough sometimes. Help me to keep on trusting you always no matter what. Everything that surrounds me speaks of you great love for me. I could not deny your love every time I look at the sky and see the brightness of the sun. It rings new hope, new assurance, new beginning of a new day. Lord, your love is so refreshing like a morning dew which strengthens me always. And as the day closes and evening comes, I could see the magnificence of your might, your greatness, your awesomeness, your power...You shade light when it's dark which gives me hope at the glimpse of it..You are my LIGHT..Shine in me Oh Loving God. I breathe the life you have blessed me with and I am offering this life back to you.

When I look back and gaze the path that i took, I can always see your hand guiding me to the right path, your hand comforting me, your hand holding me tight. Lord, forgive me for my shortcomings. I know I have hurt you in so many ways. But you cared for me so much that despite all my sins, You were always ready to forgive me and hold me close to you. Let me dwell in your presence always because in YOUR PRESENCE there is fullness of joy. I have experienced the feeling of loneliness, bitterness, pain, insecurity, inferiority,uncertainty, shame and doubt but YOUR love surrounded me and kept me secure and strong. You held me up and kept me standing still. and the truth is, when I thought I have fallen, You were there to catch me and gave a new start.

the trails i had me have been crooked and unpleasant, but you have brought me this far to come to you and make this life worthy of your love...Thank you Lord for all the countless blessings...You are indeed a living God. I claim for a more fruitful life in year 2009 and the years ahead, I claim another victory and peace of mind. Thank you for good health, for loving family, wonderful kids and husband, smooth-sailing relationship with people at home, neighbors as well as my colleagues. Forgive me for being mean with others and make me a blessing even to those who don't like me. Make me love my enemies and return evil with goodness. Let me live a life pleasing to your sight. Let the words of my mouth be beautiful music to your ears. Let me trust always in your WORD. Yes God, I keep you WORD in my heart. Let me speak and expect only of what's good and pleasant.

Lord, you have seen everything, my heart, my soul, my innermost thoughts and I offer them all to you...dear Lord, make me a better person, loving, understanding, and most of all faithful to you...God, my Lord, my Savior, my best friend, CHANGE ME and make me the person that YOU want me TO BE! I love you with all my heart...

I offer to you my life and my all. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A BLESSED 2009 TO ONE AND ALL..

CU Faculty Christmas party 2008

2008-12-30T23:28:00.005+08:00

this year's faculty Christmas party is the simplest and shall we say less grand...ever since i joined CU, celebration had always been grand and expensive with big cash prizes and tedious presentations and contests from various colleges...there were always costumes and everyone seemed so engrossed with his own lines and roles. this is the first time i have witnessed the simplicity of the program and although there were door prizes and on-the-spot contests and trivia, this year's party is quite different because CU unlike last year's very grand Broadway theme and the years before with themes and motifs, this time, it is simply a celebration of Christmas the CU way...very simple and i love it. at least we all had the chance to get together and talk with colleagues and friends without the hassles of thinking about the presentation on stage, the costumes, make up and etc. i guess everyone enjoyed the food and the camaraderie...last years were good but this year? i find the celebration better... i just love it...for me, the decoration was perfect for our touch of red motif...it was still grand minus the choral group competition and the modern / jazz dance contest...the cash prizes were big...it doesn't matter at all if we did not have the same kind of party, after all, we are not bound to any tradition or any form of celebration...we are only bound to Christ, the real meaning of Christmas, as He is the reason of the season...it doesn't matter at all what nature of celebration we will be having so long as it is not against the will of the ONE whom this celebration is intended for...with or without food, with or without presents, near or far from our loved ones, it's not true that Christmas will never be the same...Christmas will always be the same no matter what because HE is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8)...

Hope-filled Christmas

2008-12-29T16:29:00.005+08:00

merry Christmas to all! to my colleagues, students, friends, relatives, and family! i am 4 days delayed in my Christmas post but here i am still catching up!i have been super busy with loads of extra work in the house plus the take home school assignments...i haven't been online for a couple of days due to hectic skeds but i am glad i am coping...my eyes seem to be bulging out now because i have deadlines to beat..my migraine attacks again and i am just super nauseous..excuse me but i threw up twice already..whew!doing something and being busy is far better than doing nothing just like my last year's "vacation" in the hospital...God forbids, but i am done with it and that was it! i am moving on physically fit and healthy with God's blessings.

i had a very wonderful Christmas with my family...we had series of parties after our school party and i found myself enjoying with my loved ones.. Christmas this year is really unique and entirely different from what we had the past few years...

i did not expect to receive presents from my loved ones...but i did! bag, shoes, planner, perfume etc...etc...thanks everyone for caring and sharing!

one more, we had yellow as our Christmas day motif which stands for brightness of HOPE. Jesus is the source of that hope. He came to be born and 33 years after died on the cross of Calvary for everyone. He came to live and die...this is the essence of Christmas...living to die for others...Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

which to do first?

2008-12-20T09:45:00.004+08:00

just don't know how to describe the situation that i am going through right now...got lots of things to do and deadlines to beat...which to do first? my kids' affair in school? or my own school affair? Sunday fellowship or masteral exam? terrible, i just have no choice but to choose one...if i don't attend church services and fellowships, some people would judge me as not giving importance to God's time..not seeking God's will and not seeking HIS KINGDOM first... but what about my classes?whew! sometimes, i feel so guilty if i couldn't attend to my little angels' school activities..i am very thankful for my sister for being there to take care of them...she helps and teaches them in their projects, assignments and reviews...what am i then? shame, i don't even have the time to cook for my kids' breakfast...katee, who lives with us for almost 11 years (as old as apple my eldest child), does almost all the chores... jam and jen are there to assist her though during their free days.. i owe katee a lot...

i am worried about christmas break..last year, i wished for a real break but a day after christmas, i was confined at the hospital due to extreme stress and other illness kept me in the hospital for a week...that was the most unforgettable new year we had in the family as we celebrated it in the hospital...papa was there and everyone else in the house, except apoy (our 88 year-old lola who hates hospitals a lot) opted to stay in the house with our closest cousins rolly and wife...it was a painful experience not just because i couldn't even stand but because i coldn't even eat any of the food served! they were so tempting but i couldn't even gulp even a drop of water...i thought i would have died then...(funny, i was so overacting)

anyway, now, i have the apprehensions on the coming break...we have so many take home tasks to do both for my masteral class and school / office works...plus test papers and assignments to check,quizzes to record and the prelim grades to compute..it's just terrible...i planned to do some renovations in the house, repainting and maybe rearrange furniture but i guess it is just impossible to do now... don't know if i will ever have a merry Christmas...well, i know being merry is not dependent on the task we do but on the condition of our hearts but somehow when your mind tells you to rest and you can't just do it, it will really make you sick...what am i supposed to do?

anyway, one thing i am very certain about, whether busy or not, i will always be her to keep on this blogs going...this is one thing that unleashes stress out of me...thanks to you blogger.com...

i have to wind up now...i need to go to the nearest and cheapest hair salon for a hair spa...we will have our school party tonight...and exam tomorrow...(sighs)

happy vacation to all..

Poetry for CT2

2008-12-16T01:22:00.002+08:00

post your poem here...seasons greetings!

poetry for CN144

2008-12-16T01:20:00.001+08:00

post your poems here...seasons greetings!

Poetry for CN326

2008-12-16T01:17:00.003+08:00

post your poems here...Seasons greetings!

for CT2 class

2008-12-14T20:38:00.004+08:00

please read the poem and read the instruction below after reading

I painted a rainbow but I doubt if I saved a promise
I sang but I doubt if I gave the right melody
I danced but I doubt if I made the right steps
I searched but I doubt if I found the answer
I taught a soul but i doubt if I made a difference

I write but I doubt if I am read
I express myself but I doubt if I am understood
I smile but I doubt if I am captured
I speak but I doubt if I am heard
I sow but i doubt if there will be harvest

I will keep my dream but I doubt if it will come true
I will wait but I doubt if there is something to hope for
I will fight but I doubt if it is worth the battle
I will move on but I doubt if it will be a great journey
I will survive but I doubt if it's possible without YOU!

instruction:

1. create a five-line poem(one stanza) as continuation of this poem.
2. don't copy, must be your own composition
3. post your five-line poem after reading by clicking comments button
4. write your poem at the "leave your comment box"
5. don't forget to write your complete name after your one-stanza poem so entries will be acknowledged (to your name) accordingly
6. click anonymous button in your post
7. then finally click publish my comment button

Study for Tuesday (December 16, 2008)long quiz and review...God Bless!

have fun doing and sharing your creativity!

Prof. D.

a hassle free christmas

2008-12-05T09:29:00.006+08:00

i am one of Francis J. Kong's blog followers and an avid reader of his books. his books are usually about business and work management and the likes but even if i am not inclined to business, i am so inclined to his writings because most of his books that i have read speak about how to manage life at work. we can actually glean so much from these very informative and inspirational books. i have at least 6 of his books in my library and still hoping to be able to buy more. My favorite among his books (which i have already read) are "Three Little Words" and "The Early Bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese." I also have copies of his "One day at a time" 1 - 4 volume. well, you can't afford not to get your own copy as these are actually indeed a daily inspirational dose for people "at work".

Now, i keep following his blog posts which are also very practical, useful, and helpful for daily living. i am so glad i subscribed to his blog site. the latest i have read of his post is this timely Christmas saving tips especially that the world is threatened with the issue on global crisis. well, just read it, you will love it too!

Francis J. Kong's Christmas Savings Tips

Posted: 25 Nov 2008 09:48 PM CST

Whenever you open the News Channel and you listen to what’s going on with the world’s economy you have every reason to feel depressed. Now that is not a very healthy way to handle the situation. What we should do as we view the world’s economic situation is to be thankful and to be appreciative of our current situation.

I was talking to a huge company president a couple of days ago and he says the reason why we are not hit that hard is because our scale has always been small. It’s like somebody living on the second floor and now he fell down to the ground floor. May be painful but not hard enough to kill him. Developed countries where you find huge and famous businesses have been up there on the penthouse and now their fall is hard enough to kill them. (hmmm… that’s a perspective…)

One view here is that as a country and as a people, we have all been accustomed to hardships and trials. Our country is a supermarket of calamities both natural and man-made… as a matter of fact more man-made than natural and we have always been resilient in facing trials. But this does not mean that we can be negligent and reckless in the coming days especially now that the whole country is into “Christmas Fever…”

So allow me to offer a couple of ideas on how to save money this Christmas.

1. WRITE THINGS DOWN

Do not go through this Christmas without a plan. Write a list of the people you’d like to buy for and put a price limit next to each name. If it adds up to too much, review the limits you set. Next… because a lot of money is spent in work place or office activities like gift givings so this next piece of advice may help you a lot…

xena: but of course if you have no budget to buy presents for the people in your gift list, pray for them instead, God has His own ways of blessing people. He knows your desire so don't worry if you can't give. Don't burden yourself with the thoughts of not being able to give. It does not make you less human. But if you can give, give from your heart but do not give beyond your limitations. too impractical.

2. RAFFLE DRAW

Buying gifts for everyone in the office? That’s not very wise but you may consider a “Kris Kringle” arrangement where each member in your group agrees to draw a name like what you see happens in a raffle draw and then simply buy a present for that person. This would be a lot more fun and the gift could be itemized to the person but again, put a price limit so that you will not lose control.

xena: i agree. little gifts count a lot so long as they are given from the heart. i am glad we don't have to go through the same activities we did in school for the past few years. our faculty Christmas party was always grand but yesterday, we discussed in our meeting the changes in the activities and wow, we had very minimal contribution. First time ever. activities and food prep won't change the season. what matters a lot is the spirit of Christmas in us that binds us together...Thanks Atty and Dr and the admin!

3. NO GIFT SOLICITATIONS

I have seen signs posted in offices that says: “No Gift Solicitations Allowed.” Pretty good idea for this Christmas. Why not just agree that there will no longer be any gift givings this time but collectively, will do something special as a gift? Maybe an official Christmas dinner or better still… visit an orphanage and bless the needy?

xena: hmmm.exactly. again, in the meeting, we have agreed to give something for the less fortunate children in the city. clothing and toys, school supplies and food that kids love..perfect!

4. FOR KIDS ONLY

What about this idea… that gifts be given only to kids and not to adults and you may be 33 and still acting like a kid but you get no gifts this Christmas.

xena: hahaha. i just mentioned it.but that's true. why is it that some people don't get rid of this gift - soliciting habit? we had celebrated so many Christmases and probably have received so much gifts. we have even received more than enough even during not Christmas season. well, this time, let's give gifts to "little children" not to the "feeling children"...

5. BE CREATIVE

This could be the time when you let your creative abilities make use of idle things you find in your house and convert them into gifts for the special people in your life. Believe me this act of love and kindness would be special and most appreciated.

xena: true. I couldn't wait for Christmas vacation so i could start sorting things out. old clothes, shoes, bags, kids stuffs and toys and others, i am giving them away...i have people in mind to whom i will be giving these hand-me-down stuffs...i am thinking how else i can make them look better..hmmm..not only that, i made my own Christmas decors and believe me i spent 75% less of the selling price at the department store. see? you can even say i bought them at the mall..I just couldn't afford the price! the most fulfilling thing is the idea of being able to create something beautiful...one more thing, we will be celebrating Christmas in the family with a color motif so it's kind of real exciting!

6. PLAN, PLAN AND PLAN

Without a plan you will rush through your shopping until the last minute and blow your budget. Buy things on sale.

xena: yeah, the more we rush and join in the dept store and grocery congestion, the more we panic and stress ourselves...

7. WAIT FOR THE NEW YEAR

I am pretty sure you may have friends and family you won’t see until the new year so you may as well hold off on buying presents until the January where sales events are on and the crowds are gone.

xena: yeah, why not? with stuffs that are less expensive and few people around, i think this is most practical. waiting won't hurt a bit.

The important thing to remember is that Christmas is the world’s celebration of a historical event. That the Savior has come to give us eternal life for those who choose to appropriate this Gift. Spend this year’s Christmas in a meaningful way and enjoy the moment. So save money but most importantly be saved by the Savior.

xena: Amen to that after all it is the very essence of Christmas. it is not about being "born to live" but being "born to die". Jesus was born to die for us and save us from the curse of sin!

so, save and be saved!

Life Cycle of a Butterfly "Metamorphosis"

2008-12-03T10:50:00.007+08:00

What we tend to overlook, when we are first attracted to butterfly observation, is that the butterfly is the result of a much longer journey......a journey that is quite different from that of many creatures on this planet. The flight stage is the final statement......the last hurrah so to speak.

No doubt that during your early adventures you will become increasingly aware of these other facets of a butterfly's life span but for many these stages remain a mystery. Actually what occurs prior to the flight stage of development is by far more intriguing and captivating. As you gather information on the stages of butterfly development, scientifically known as metamorphosis, please keep in mind that the way in which it ultimately plays out can be species specific.

The 4 Stages of Development

Egg Larva Pupa Butterfly

Obviously newly hatched caterpillars are minute little creatures, some virtually invisible to the naked eye but they are eating machines that grow very quickly. Growth does not occur during the flight stage. It is done strictly while in the larva stage and they can multiply in size by more than a thousand fold in no time. In a matter of a few weeks they can go from an egg, to a caterpillar, to a chrysalis, to another egg laying butterfly. For some species this process occurs only once during our season but for others two or three cycles can be completed before diapause, hibernation or migration must occur.

It all starts with the eggs which are very tiny to microscopic and generally, but not always, laid on the underside of host plant leaves either singly or in clusters. Host plants are located by the adult butterfly's ability to distinguish the plant's chemical signature. For many species the growing season for their host plants can extend for many months allowing for multiple broods.

Eggs may also be deposited near the area in which the host plant may be found. This condition arises when specific host plants have died off at their season end and the eggs are required to overwinter in order to take advantage of the following season's crop. So, depending on the time of year the eggs are laid will dictate when the eggs are predetermined to hatch. If they are laid early enough in the season they will come full term usually within a week or so, again depending on the species. If they are deposited late in the season the eggs may be required to wait until the following season to complete the remainder of the journey. An example of this scenario is best demonstrated by many of the Fritillaries that feed exclusively on violets. These violets die off part way through the Fritillary's flight season thus the eggs of the last brood are required to over winter in order to take advantage of the following seasons crop of their sole host plant.

As a caterpillar their appearance can be even more diverse than in their final stage as a butterfly. They can be naked, hairy or have varying amounts of bristles or spike like appendages adorning their tubular form. Colours range from dull bland singular colours, that serve to camouflage, to mixtures of bright stripes or blotches that serve to warn. Essentially they are harmless even though they can appear to be quite menacing.....like the Swallowtail caterpillars. Some are distasteful and others poisonous to predators as is the Monarch, Cabbage White and Pipevine Swallowtail caterpillars. Caterpillars of this type are usually brightly marked to serve as an unmistakable reminder that they should be avoided. Never-the-less, it is this stage that tends to go largely unnoticed as they go quietly about their business.

Throughout the larval stage a caterpillar has to shed it's skin several times in order to accommodate further growth. The time between these sheddings is called an "instar" of which there are usually an average of five and spans two to four weeks. When we use the term a "third instar" caterpillar we are saying that it has shed twice. Immediately upon shedding it's old skin the larva fills with air. This allows the new skin to take on that size giving the caterpillar as much room as possible to grow into this new size. After each of these transformations it is possible that the caterpillar can be a different colour or appearance from the time before. Therefore, depending on which instar a caterpillar is in, understanding the instars can play a roll in the identification process.

When the final instar occurs what emerges is the pupa, which when completed, usually resembles part of the plant they are on........this serves as camouflage. This stage may last a week or so at which time the final stage an adult butterfly is produced, that either carries on the next generation locally or migrates, like the Monarch, to warmer climates before winter. Or they might over winter in this stage and emerge the following season to complete their predetermined task. In any case the transformation, while in the pupa stage, is truly a miracle. What emerges from this case in no way resembles the caterpillar that produced it. Basically what happens is the complete disassembly of the cells that made up the caterpillar and the reassembling of those cells into it's new form....a butterfly. Upon emergence the swollen body immediately begins to pump fluids into the tiny shrived up wings. Within a couple of hours the wings are full size, dried, become more rigid and are capable of flight.

A few varieties, such as the Mourning Cloak or Compton Tortoiseshell, choose to hibernate here as adult butterflies and complete their cycle the following season. Others, like the Crossline Skipper, overwinter in their larval stage and some Elfins do so during the pupa stage. Still another way to beat winter is to do so as an egg as with the Bog Copper. Some Hairstreaks do this but they have an obstacle to overcome by choosing this method. As you are now aware eggs are laid on or near host plants so when the eggs hatch the food supply is right there. Since Hairstreak hosts are trees, rather than plants and if the eggs were laid traditionally on the leaves, they would fall to the ground in the fall presenting a food source proximity problem the following spring. This is overcome by depositing the eggs on the buds at the base of the leaf stem so the egg will remain in the tree close to the food source when the time is right.

These timelines can be complex and require a little more determination to follow in their entirety but it is very rewarding to observe the slightly different approaches to all four stages of the journey. As you can see from this page all butterflies follow the same scenario but not necessarily the same timeline when confronted with a seasonal environment. Even within the same species and the same season the timeline can vary between broods. Adaptation is the key to survival for any butterfly.

source:
http://home.cogeco.ca/~lunker/stagesbf.htm

For my CT2 Students
Questions: Answer clearly and briefly. 1/2 crosswise yellow paper.

A. 1. what are the different stages in metamorphosis? enumerate and briefly explain their characteristics.
2. relate to your own experience the metamorphosis of a butterfly.

B. 1. Among the stages on the metamorphosis of a butterfly, what are the two stages you think are the best of all?Why?
2. If you are a butterfly, what color will you be and why?

C. 1. What are the different stages in metamorphosis? enumerate and briefly explain their characteristics.
2. If you are a butterfly, which of the stages would you like to stay longer?why?

D. 1. Among the stages on the metamorphosis of a butterfly, what are the two stages you think are the best of all?Why?
2. Why does a pupa have to be camouflage? If you are a "pupa" would you rather stay in the cocoon or out in the open?why?

E. 1. Enumerate and explain the different stages of a butterfly's metamorphosis.
2. If given the chance to become a butterfly, which stage would you not want to go through or experience? why?

Breaking the Cocoon of bitterness

2008-12-02T19:34:00.009+08:00

There was once a girl, 14 years old to be exact, a teenager who had her menarche 8 months before her 14th birthday. She was smart and resolute , buoyant and witty, a dreamer and a fighter. She had positive outlook in life notwithstanding poverty. She believed that dreams can actually be reached no matter how far.

She did well in school. Her parents and siblings were proud of her for her accomplishments and achievements. She was an achiever. she excelled in most of her grade school years as top student in the class. However, there was something about this girl. Coated in a jaunty persona was a probing young mind whose questions where filled with perplexities. She faked her smiles, coached her manner in a way others could barely handle.She was just simply impossible! In her early teenage years she was already sulking in her cocoon, trying to set herself free.

Despite the girl's probing queries about realities of life and the life they were actually living, she continued to find life's answers. She journeyed through life with boldness and determination.

She was the black sheep in the family. She used to hear people said this roughly. But what can she do? This was how people looked at her. Would she continue to be herself as she is? Or would she prove them wrong? But how? Young as she was, she gave in to peer influence. After all, this was where she felt accepted, at least,she thought,at that very moment she had someone to talk to and divert her puzzled mind to. She felt a temporal sense of belonging. But in her solitude, swirling thoughts of epiphany always paved her way to hold on to what was right. She struggled and won over her best enemy, her self. One day, the girl went home with a different outlook and perspective in life. this time, her focus was not on her selfish desires anymore, but on helping her family out of poverty. She had so many beautiful plans for her parents and siblings...beautiful dreams for her family but she was just 14! How can she make them come to reality?

An opportunity came when an old family friend came to visit them and told her parents that she was looking for a housemaid for an American family in Cebu City. The girl did not have any second thought. She accepted the opportunity (as she called it), the opportunity for her to realize her dreams. She wanted to prove to those people around her, those who have misjudged her that she, no matter how young she is, is responsible and thoughtful enough for her family.

She went to Cebu the next day. The boat's fare was P78 peso per person (that was a lot, the girl thought). The ship crews who assisted them in going up the steel ladder were already closing the door when she realized that they were already leaving. She started to feel indescribable nostalgia. She felt butterfly in her stomach. She just couldn't believe that for the first time, she was going to be away from her family. The girl was standing by the ferry's lobby and was watching the ferry bidding the dock goodbye as it slowly backed off and released the dock's hands, until it seemed to turn about. The girl's tears trickle down her cheeks. In a matter of few minutes, the girl could hardly see the port. She imagined the boat she was aboard in like a tiny dot in the middle of the vast ocean. The creepy thoughts scared her so much and caused her goosebumps but she rejected the feeling. Her tiredness and the movement of the ferry lulled her to deep slumber. They were aboard the ship overnight, from 7pm to 7am the following day. When she woke up, she realized she was already in a strange land.

They arrived in Cebu City the following morning and the woman fetched her to the family directly. The family looked great and kind. They had 3 children, a girl and two boys. The eldest, the girl, was 3 years younger than she was and the boys were 5 and 3 years old, respectively.

At first everything went well, the work was manageable. The chores were lighter with vacuum cleaner,as it was far better than coconut husk and rag to clean the tiled flooring. The wall at the other side of the house was made of glass. She could see through the glass wall while cleaning it the obviously wealthy men playing golf outside the very wide green plain. The sight looked so serene and peaceful. It brings back to her the nostalgic feelings. The house was too huge for her to clean alone. It was a totally fenced two-storey building where she stayed in the servants quarter at the ground floor, alone. At 14 years old, she was alone in a big room near the garage! She missed her sisters with whom she used to share one small room, all five of them!

She actually learned a lot...from making mashed potato (their morning specialty)to cooking rice (which she was not used to do in her own home); did the laundry, dry cleaned the big carpets and draperies, washed the car and cleaned the garage. She learned to eat raw vege and she loved the jam and jelly which wasn't present way back home. But every time she ate, her tears would trickle as she remembered how her mother and sisters would take care of her and prepare her food (now she sounded like a real prodigal daughter). Every thing she did in that American house reminded her of her beloved family back home. Desperate as she was, the more she felt the nostalgia and the desire to go home.

On the 6th day (what seemed like eternity to her), she was prohibited to use the phone, watched tv, or even listened to the radio. The man (husband), started to become mean and strict with her. The girl's rebellious heart was awakened. "how can this man be so mean to a 14 year old girl like me?", the girl thought. The following day, over one argument, the girl decided to leave the family. Ddespite the older sister's advice, the girl made up her mind, she had to leave. She asked permission but they wouldn't let her leave. She was in a crossroad of her life. "indeed, where will I go if I do?" she argued to herself. She did not have money. She only had P1.50 jingling coin in her purse. But she was resolute and strong-minded that she made a choice to step out of that house where she felt she was treated like a real housemaid and not a young teener.

She was caught in a dilemma when the man said, "you may leave but we will not give you even a single penny". she was bursting in tears when she heard those words. She was raging with anger inside. But later calmed down and said, "I have P1.50" here, I will go. God will take care of me."

"Do you think God will listen to a stubborn girl like you? You are hardheaded!" shouted the man.

"I asked God about this, and I told Him that I will go, so I will go, I miss my family and I can not take it here anymore." the poor girl cried helplessly.

"Go ahead, leave! But remember, the moment you step out of this gate, you can never come back to this house anymore" the man yelled at her.

"Okay. then I have to go now.goodbye maam, sir. " she decisively muttered."Sir, please check my belongings before i go", the girl said as she opened the red-striped plastic cellophane where she placed her few loose blouses and skirts and other personal stuffs and a birthday card she bought for her only brother.

The girl's slippers made a flip flap sound as she made her way down the stairs slowly. At first was hesitant to step out of the gate for she might regret her decision if she did so. but after a few seconds of contemplation, she found herself walking down the peaceful and long subdivision road. Free at last! Her tears were rolling down her cheeks with her sweat. She swayed her cellophane bag while she walked as if trying to make a balance in herself. Where will she go? What will she do? She finally reached the guardhouse at the subdivision gate and asked help from the stationed guards to assist her in searching for any menial job. The guards looked at her with utmost curiosity. They asked her questions. She told them the truth. The guards and few people who were intrigued by the throng at the guardhouse crowded on her. Their faces showed different reactions. Some were angry, others wanted to go and punch the American man, others were doubtful, others were just laughing and some were emotionless but there were those who really pitied the girl and were willing to help her.

Because she was very young, she couldn't even be accommodated as laundry woman in that village (the village for the wealthy so to speak). One of the men in the crowd was on his way to work as family driver of a Spanish family in that same subdivision. He assisted the girl and called somebody over the phone then after a while he brought her to a woman (family caretaker)who was in her early 40's.

God answered prayers. The woman was her neighbor's aunt and was kind enough to send her home with stuff and presents for her family, also for the woman's relatives. the woman and friends sent her to the port until she was already aboard the ship. The next thing she realized, she was already home, safe and sound. She couldn't hide the tears of joy but inside she was bleeding in pain for that experience.

The parents and siblings were surprised for her arrival because they weren't informed. She told them the story. Only then she learned that day and night, her mother with her entire family kept on praying for her safety. The girl was so amazed on God's marvelous work in her life.

God is indeed omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. Without God in her life, the girl may have been gone somewhere else. or her life may have been a total disaster. But there was her Faithful God who sheltered her, kept her safe and led her all he way up to this time. If it's not because of God, I may not be able to share His goodness in my life...Yes, that girl was ME, 21 years ago.

The reason why i shared it here is that i want to release the pain, the bitterness, the grudges and the hatred i felt for that family. Specifically for the couple who allowed me to go home without giving me "even a single penny". This and other lines kept haunting me for the longest time like in a nightmare and would always bring me to my tears. I realize i am such in deep pain and hatred and i want to let it go...I want to "set free" the once larva that crept inside my heart which i didn't notice have become a hardened cocoon of bitterness and hatred. Now i release forgiveness, blessing and love to these people. i want to thank them for that experience as it only proved God's unfaltering faithfulness and provision in my life. now, my questions are answered. My search is over.

Honestly, it took me this long to regain myself from that feeling. I harbored so much hatred for them. Recently, I searched for these people in the net because i wanted to tell them or email them about how i feel but i don't know if it will make them feel better...And luckily I saw them. I even got hold of their email address. At first my tears rolled down but I tried to feel my heart and I realize that my wounds are healed. The most important thing is i am released from that bondage and now like a butterfly, I am free to fly higher and see and taste the beauty and bounty of God's blessings!

Note: Help, I am also looking for Manong Luis Carreon and Manang Darna Paclar (Paradise Village, Cebu)the two great and kindhearted people who helped and sent me home. I haven't heard of them after that day i returned home as communication was quite difficult before. But wherever they are right now,my prayers are with them. I hope i can trace them though. I just want to thank them personally. I will never forget them.

on the wing on life's plight

2008-11-15T13:30:00.002+08:00

Awesome MySpace Comments & Myspace Layouts

Every time I look at the tapestry of a butterfly, I look at it as a metaphor of myself, how I have been fighting and struggling in life and allowing myself to be blown away by the breeze of time. I flutter my wings wherever the wind ushers me to but I land on beautiful flowers in a garden called serenity where I get my nectar of strength so as when the next blow of the unpredictable winds of time come, I will be swaying beautifully and gracefully with it with neither fear nor angst.

Everyday, I see myself transforming into different colors and I have learned to love every bit of life there is in it. I add each hue to my existence to be able to create a perfect and amazing portrait of God’s masterpiece…

If given a chance to see in three days

2008-11-11T18:37:00.009+08:00

Have you ever heard or come across the name Helen Keller, the woman who became blind at an early age but never lost hope of seeing the world?

She has often thought it would be a blessing if every human being were stricken blind and deaf for a few days at some time. According to her, darkness perhaps would make her more appreciative of sight and silence and would teach her the joys of sound.

If she got so much pleasure from mere touch, how much more beauty must be revealed by sight? If given three days to use her eyesight, she wished to divide the period in three days. On the first day she would want to see the people whose generosity and companionship had made her life worth living. She would like to see into their hearts true friendship. How many of those whose eyes are normal can see the inner nature of a friend? Isn’t it true that most of those seeing people grasp casually the outward features of a face and let it go at that?

Then she would feast her eyes on the face of a baby; so she could visualize the innocent beauty which presides the person’s consciousness of the conflicts which life develops. Then Helen should like to see the books which had been read to her and which had revealed to her the deepest mysteries of human life.

In the afternoon, she would like to take a long walk in the woods and see the beauties of the world of nature, and glorify the splendor of the colorful sunset.

On the second day, she wishes to arise with the dawn and see for herself the exciting miracle by which night is transformed into day. This day she would like to go to the museum to get a glimpse of the past of the past and present world, especially the art museum. The paintings of Michelangelo, Picasso, and other great world painters would surely amuse her. Artists used to tell her that for a deep and true appreciation of art one must educate the eyes.

In the evening of the second day, she would like to spend at a theatre or at the movies. How she should like to see Hamlet staged, Pavlova Pirovette in her light fantastic toes. How wonderful to see grace in motion.

On the third day, she would like to spend in a workaday world, a world where men do brisk business. The city becomes her destination. Helen would stand in a busy corner merely looking at people. When they smile, she is happy; when they are determined, she is proud; and when she sees sufferings, she is compassionate. At a later time, she would make a tour of the city – to the slums, to factories, to parks where children play. Always, her eyes will be opened wide to all sights of both happiness and misery; so that she may probe deep and add understanding of how people work and live.

On the night of the third day, Helen would like to engage in many serious pursuits. 0of course, in those three short days she could not have seen all she wanted to see. Only when darkness had again come should she realize how much she had left and seen.

She gives one piece of advice to those who see: “Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind”. But of all senses, to her, sight must be the most delightful. (taken from previous class readings/topics)

Questions: To my "Reading Students", have fun reading and exploring and most of all have fun answering the following questions too. Copy the questions please. See you around.

1. What is being talked about in this essay?
2. Who is being referred to in the title?
3. Accordingly, the sight is the most delighful of all senses. Why?
4. If you were depived of sight and given chance to see in 3 hours, what is the most
important thing would you like to see? Why?
5. How will you descibe the following things to somebody blind?
a. the color red, blue, yellow, green, white, black (choose only one color
to describe)
b. the environment
c. yourself

"Prof. D"

Letting Go

2008-11-09T00:42:00.007+08:00

Why it is always easy to get hold of something yet hard to let go of it? Why the hardest part of one’s life is letting go of something or somebody that is so special and treasured? Just imagine ourselves like a little child who holds his kite securely and tightly as it sways and flies in the wide blue skies when we tighten our grip on the things we don’t want to lose. We make sure it doesn’t slip off our hands. Then when it slips off and fly away, we cry so hard like a helpless child who doesn’t want a new kite but the one he just lost. Isn’t it funny? We want to run after it. Fly if we must just to catch up with the “lost kite” in us. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? With just one loss, we end up decimated and find it hard to get back and start all over again.

Why is that so? It is simply because we don’t want to let go of whatever we are holding and whatever we are comfortable with. We don’t want to start anew and find a fresh beginning. In short, we are scared of “change” hence, resistant to it.

Indeed, letting go is a hard-hitting decision to make. It requires much thinking and strong determination to do so. It is done for a very good reason and a very healthy motive. Not selfish motives. I have tried doing so.

I have experienced letting go of a crush, a dream, an ambition or a job I loved so much. I have let go of a very special person, a toy, a plan and even a relationship. I have experienced how it is to let go of a loved one (my mother), and yes, of a friend. But I have come to an epiphany that perhaps, I only let go of these because there seemed to be no other choice. Am I right? I let go, yes, but I lamented over it, I mourned. I grieved. And perhaps, we all have every good reason why we want to keep them and never let go of them because these are beautiful things and worthy to be kept and treasured. But still we let go.

But looking on the other side of the coin, how ironic it is for us to find it harder to let go of bitterness, of anger, of our pains, of unpleasant experiences. Why do we keep them and harbor them in our hearts? Why can’t we just let go of them and free ourselves from the tormenting pain and anguish they bring in us? Why can’t we just liberate ourselves from the torturing guilt and blames?

Letting go is a choice. It is a decision to make. It is just like avoiding sweets and chocolates and pasta because we are into “no-to-carbo” diet. It is the same with deciding what course to take in college or where to go for a vacation or which car to buy. They’re all the same. It is just similar to giving your best dress to a friend or a favorite toy to a needy or giving your last peso to a beggar. But why do we exert more time on thinking about the negatives rather than the beautiful things in life? Why is it easy to love than to forgive? why is t easy to give love than to do away with hatred and resentments?

Letting go is done with unfettered will. If we really intend to live life to its fullness then we have to choose to live a life that is free from guilt and torment, free from anger and bitterness, released from all ill-feelings against something, somebody and most importantly from one's own self.

According to a Latin phrase “carpe diem”, letting go is just like seizing the day. One can never seize the day unless he lets go of what is keeping him from doing so. Accordingly, we will never be able to receive new blessings if our hands are full. Unless we open our hands and release all that we are holding, all that keep blessings away, we will never be totally blessed in abundance.

Letting go is not freedom for what you are “letting go” but it is freedom for yourself. Letting go of something means “letting go of yourself” that is, freedom from self.

Panawagan - A Literary Folio

2008-11-08T22:33:00.005+08:00

I would like to congratulate my best friend and colleague, Prof. Arnold Tinaco Dacuno for his newly published literary folio entitled “Panawagan” which will soon be available at your favorite bookstores. I give two thumbs up for his literary achievement. In fact, this is his second book. The first one is a Textbook now being used in classrooms. I will be writing more about this friend of mine whose dreams were like unreachable stars but now are within his reach. I would like to encourage everyone to grab a copy now. you will never regret reading this folio as it is like giving you a full glimpse of everything that is happening around us.

For now, I would like to give the same comment I have written for his literary folio (as one of his critics) and in this sense, will give you a bird’s eye view on what the book is all about.

“Raise your unruffled brow
on this day, Filipino youth!
Resplendent shines
Your courage rich,
Handsome hope of my motherland”

This literary folio, PANAWAGAN, is an ardent call for change addressed to the youth of today. This could remind you of Dr. Jose Rizal’s address to the Filipino youth more than a hundred years ago. Rizal’s and the author’s voice are calling out “to the youth of today” who is said to be the hope of our nation”. This axiom rings true to what Filipinos believe and hope to happen, to let the Filipino youth spark the fire of change and be aware of his responsibility in nation building.

“Panawagan” is basically a reflection of the author’s life, how he responds to the challenges in life, and how he sees himself as an active participant, and important entity in the attainment of progress in our society. It also mirrors various life experiences which depict an exciting, challenging but beautiful journey of a young mind exposed to the complexities and adversities in life and how these obstacles should be overcome through his aspirations, determination and strength in achieving his dreams. It is a creative and reflective metamorphosis among young individuals who have the potentials to make a difference in the society they are in touched with. Panawagan can do a lot to an individual. It can unleash the doubts working inside his heart, shade light to his unfaltering questions of uncertainty and inferiority and finally let go of the emotional seepage that keeps him less productive. It is a call to every individual to be consciously aware of the stark reality around him and make a difference in his thoughts, aspirations, courage, character and perspective as well as effect change first of all to his own self, to his family and friends and generally to his community.

The author, young as he is, has exuded most of these quality characteristics of a young person, worthy of emulation, whose dreams were unruffled amidst adversities in life. His greatest weapons to achieve his dreams and face the challenges and obstacles in life were his willingness to work even harder than hardest and the wisdom that God has given him.

We are human, with intellect and emotion that understand, feel, reason and hopefully, respond to this call for change…

Dorcas Menoc – Bandiala
Literature Professor
College of Arts and Sciences
Capitol University

Goodbye Blue

2008-11-07T00:40:00.004+08:00

I don’t want to live in pain
Nor dwell in hatred and rage
I don’t want to be a slave again
Nor linger in an isolated cage

I screamed yet no one heard me pray
I wept bitterly inside
And chose to go back to my shell to stay
Where I shall forever reside

Time flies yet too slow for me to await
While uncertainty keeps knocking at my door
Doubt came in, I have lost my faith
I know things aren’t just meant to be, I’m sure

Chance is too dim and slim
It is as elusive as sometimes love does stifle
I reckoned my future with you is some kind of dim
But without you I will surely sniffle

Goodbye anyway, color of my life
Farewell to you shades of blue
I have prepared myself to stand the strife
Rail not for I am leaving you my favorite hue

on dreamality

2008-11-06T20:37:00.004+08:00

I have read Mr. Bob Coy's book entitled "Dreamality" just few days ago. I am so lucky to have bought one from a book sale (which is not necessarily cheap but at least cheaper than the original price). I had it reserved at the cash counter area and waited for almost a week to be able to purchase it finally as I could hardly wait to have my own copy of this book.

Dreamality is an inspiring book as it talks about understanding God’s own heart for us and the reliving of our dreams which have been extinguished by our frustrations, anger and bitterness. It awakens our spirits which have long been toppled down by our selfishness and conceits as well as egoistic principles.

Dream is God’s gift to mankind. It is a vision which God has endowed man with. It shows the other side of man’s spirituality and his connection to God. Dreaming is the totality of humanity’s hope to lead meaningful lives filled with purpose. This purpose is based on God’s. God’s purpose towards humanity transcends his (man’s) finite existence just like Joseph the dreamer. Limited as we are, God in His infinite wisdom has already crafted a wonderful and colorful life ahead of us.

According to him, no one doesn’t have a dream as every human heart beats to dream and to hope. It’s just that some of these are still in the horizon waiting to be realized, to be materialized. It’s just a question of waiting for the perfect time and faith in God. Why do some people seem to fail in their dreams? Is it the absence of God in their lives? Nope. It is the absence of faith in God. It is because of man’s faithlessness and impatience that they stop hoping and eventually give up dreaming. Dreams are not meant to be slept on…They are meant to be realized, to become a reality.

Somewhere along the way, while we are bombarded with unexplainable harsh conditions, we end up letting go of our dreams. We let them fly like birds freeing them from our cage of hopefulness and faith. Setting our dreams free is equivalent to replacing our optimism with pessimism. Instead of encouraging ourselves, we pamper the feeling of inferiority and cynicism.

I agree with the author in his belief that hope can actually be revived. We can still rekindle in our hearts the expectation of something more as God is our dream- deliverer as well as the fountain of our dreams.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming and dreams aren’t impossible. God even wants the best and grandest of everything our human mind could ever think of. It’s our petty faithlessness that makes our dreams fail. We should think big, hope big. Think grand, hope grand and dream grand. God can make that come to reality.

Basically our problem why most of us fail is that “we fail to dream because we dream to fail”. Should we only dream to succeed and reach them, we certainly reach and succeed…that is the essence of dreaming and achieving. But we must not forget that all dreams should be authored by God and in lined to his will.

Lest we forget, always be reminded that we dream not to satisfy and gratify ourselves but to glorify God and enjoy him forever. When we see our dreams at a distance and think that we can never attain these, we have one assurance that will never falter; God wants us to make heaven’s dream our reality so that we can serve the purpose of glorifying HIM and enjoying His presence forever.

Lastly, the author leaves us a picture of which we are to choose from. Will we let go of our own dream and allow heaven’s dream to become our reality? Accordingly, the ball is in our court. All we have to do is to complete the journey in life by connecting to the DREAM GIVER then we can hold in full grasp the abundant provision, supernatural power and shining excellence of a God-given dream. Then live a dreamality.

Let me quote the authors’ final statement in his book “It is my prayer that you will be encouraged to seek the same heavenly Father I have. He’s the only One powerful enough, wise enough and good enough to restore and fulfill heaven’s dream in your life.”

There is something in the air

2008-11-03T22:41:00.005+08:00

It is Christmas Time again...

photo journal

2008-11-03T02:57:00.002+08:00

words to live by

2008-11-03T01:44:00.005+08:00

Develop a positive attitude...
Waking up every morning thinking,
Who can I be blessing to today?
Who can I encourage?
Where is there a need that I can meet?
When you show love to the world, you show GOD
When I meet other people's need,
God will meet mine...
If you do good things that are unseen
and do not even ask something in return,
You find favor on GOD
in ways you have never seen before...

-Joel Osteen
A Better You